


You Feel Like the Home I Never Had

by Malkinmecrazy8771



Category: Hockey RPF
Genre: Businessman!Sid, Fake dating AU if you squint, Found Family, Guess that's what I get for giving them tragic backstories......., Kidfic, Lyosha is the best (and youngest) wingman ever, M/M, Seriously there are probably gonna be more than 80k words before these idiots get wise I'M SORRY, Single Dad!Geno, Slow Burn AF, Whoops I didn't mean to catch this many feels, Wishbaby...kinda, pretend relationship...sorta, wow kinda angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-06
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2019-06-22 17:02:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 75,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15586566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malkinmecrazy8771/pseuds/Malkinmecrazy8771
Summary: What happens when you want a family so badly that the universe just drops one into your lap? That's for Sidney to find out, after he meets a gorgeous Russian expat and his beautiful baby boy at a Paris airport...because after spending the night with them waiting for a delayed flight, he's already started to get attached...and other people are starting to notice...





	1. Sunrise, Sunrise

_Your attention please: Air Canada flight 4-4-1...with service to...Montréal...has been cancelled, due to mechanical failures in the aircraft. The next flight, Air Canada flight 8-7-1...with service to...Montréal...will begin boarding at gate A-14 at 3:15 AM. We are sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. Passengers of Air Canada flight 4-4-1...with service to...Montréal: please report to the Air Canada information desk to receive your new boarding pass and a full meal voucher, courtesy of the management at Air Canada. Again, we apologise for any inconvenience._

Sidney groaned and shoved his laptop back into his bag, getting up and heading for the desk. First, his flight to France gets redirected to Portugal, and now  _this_? Just how the hell was he supposed to get back to work? Maybe this was a blessing in disguise...he didn’t have to go back to work if he was stuck in Paris...although, he didn’t know which he hated worse, his job, or all the waiting around. As he reached the long line at the help desk, however, the waiting seemed just a little bit worse.

When he finally reached the desk, he handed over his passport and old boarding pass to the lady there and rubbed his eyes. He certainly hoped coffee was included in that meal voucher, or there would be some problems.

“Pardon, monsieur, but there are less business-class seats on the new plane that they are sending, and they ‘ave all been taken...”

Sidney dropped his hand and stared at her.

“What about the first-class seats?”

The lady looked like she was afraid he was going to hit her.

“All taken, monsieur, I am very sorry...”

Sidney looked down and sighed. Of fucking  _course_. Because this trip just  _couldn’t_  get any worse, could it? He took a breath to level his head and looked back up at her, trying to look as un-threatening as possible.

“Okay, what else is available?” he asked quietly.

The lady looked a little relieved and put a tablet with a schematic of the plane seats onto the desk.

“The seats in grey are already taken,” she said, pointing. “You may choose any seat in blue, or I can arrange a later flight for you?”

Sid sighed down at the blue seats. There were four available, all window seats. Of fucking course. He supposed being a priority member didn’t mean anything when there were mechanical aircraft failures, and it meant even less when you were at the end of the line. What he really wanted to know, though, was why they’d sent a smaller plane.

“I’ll take...29-A,” he said finally. A later flight would mean more waiting, and he just wanted to get home. At this point, he didn’t care how.

“Okay, monsieur, thank you,” the lady said, typing something into the computer and printing some things out.

“‘Ere is your new boarding pass...’ere is your meal voucher, which you may use at any location printed on the back...and ‘ere is a coupon; the next time you fly with us, you will receive a first-class seat at business-class price.”

“ _Merci beaucoup, madame_ ,” Sidney said as he accepted the papers.

“ _Ah, tu parles en français?_ ” she said, looking relieved and impressed.

“ _Euh...un peu,_ ” Sidney replied. “Not very well, though.”

“Ah, well it is ok, monsieur,” the lady said, smiling. “ _Merci pour votre parrainage! Merci et bonne soirée!_ ”

“ _Bonne soirée_ ,” Sidney responded, smiling at her.

Sidney sighed as he walked away. That had been a little less painful than he’d expected, but he wasn’t so thrilled at the prospect of having to sit in a cramped window seat in the back of the plane. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad? Probably not.

He looked at the back of the meal voucher, wondering which place he should redeem it at. Starbucks was a no, even if it was in Paris. There were a few places he’d never heard of before, so he just decided to walk around and see if anything looked appetising.

He found a little island-cafe in the middle of the walkway near Gate A-12 that was designed to look like a Parisian street-food cart. The name of the place was on the back of his voucher, so he shrugged and decided to check it out.

“ _Bonsoir, monsieur! Qu’est-ce que vous prenez?_ ”

“ _Euh_...” Sidney took a moment to look at the menu. “ _Un cafe noir et un croissant avec du beurre, s’il vous plaît_.”

“ _Excellent choix, monsieur! Voulez-vous son café avec du sucre?_ ”

Sidney thought for a moment, then shook his head. He needed caffeine, not a sugar rush.

“ _Non, merci beaucoup_.”

“ _D’accord, monsieur! Un moment, s’il vous plaît_ ,” The man behind the counter said, smiling and pouring Sidney’s coffee into a to-go cup.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

Sidney’s smile didn’t reach his tired eyes, but he still made sure it was there when he said thank you and took his coffee and a little brown paper bag from the man behind the counter.

Sidney made his way back to gate A-14 and began looking for a place to sit with a power outlet. Most of the seats were full of tired-looking people who were in much of the same boat as Sidney was. Finally, Sidney spotted a chair in the corner that was open, and there was an outlet right next to it. Sidney rushed over to it and set down his “breakfast” on the seat next to him. He took out his laptop and its charger, plugging it in and making sure it was charging before he turned back to his food.

The coffee was pretty decent, and the croissant was incredible; so crisp and light. Sidney almost found himself wishing he could go back and grab another one...but he didn’t want to give up his spot by the power outlet, so he put those ideas away.

Sidney glanced at his watch. 22:03. He sighed and let his head fall back against the window behind him. Five more hours to go.

He picked up his laptop and brought it to his lap, wondering what he could do to burn up some time. He supposed checking his emails wouldn’t hurt...until he saw that he had 1154 of them. That somehow killed a little of his motivation, but he was nothing if not professional, so he grit his teeth and got started.

He was down to 878 emails when, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a tall man with a baby carrier on his chest walk up and sit down two seats away from him.

“ _Вот, Лёша, щас это лучше, да? Щас мы можем смотреть, как улетают самолёты! Зууум!_ ”

“ _Ий! Аа!!_ ”

The language the man was speaking caught Sidney’s attention...it wasn’t French, it was Russian. Sidney only knew that because of a class he’d taken back in high school, and, even though he was far from being fluent, Sid was proud to say that he still remembered quite a bit from that class.

280 emails down. 874 emails to go. Sidney’s ear caught a clicking sound and he glanced over to see the man unbuckling the baby carrier and pulling the baby out.

“ _Во-о-т так! Ой, как хорошо сесть! Ой, какая радость, да Лёш? Да?_ ”

He held the baby up and then brought him down to nuzzle his nose against the baby’s. The baby giggled and reached his hands out to touch the man’s face. The man’s soft, fond smile warmed his tired brown eyes.

“ _Лёш...ты...сам – моя радость. Понимаешь?_ ”

The man’s voice was soft and quiet, and the baby made a little noise and closed his tiny fingers over a lock of the man’s hair.

“ _О, Лёша...Ты – важнее всех. Ты – моя жизнь._ ”

As Sidney watched a sadness fill those tired brown eyes, he suddenly realised he probably shouldn’t be staring, so he snapped his eyes back to his computer screen.

873 emails to go.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

Sidney had become so intensely focused on replying to this (honestly ridiculous) client, that he was startled when he felt something touch his leg. He jumped and quickly looked down, surprised to see two big brown eyes staring up at him.

“ _Нет-нет, Лёш! Иди обратно сюда! Дай доброму мужчину поработать!_ ” The man next to Sid said softly, hooking his finger through the little suspenders on the baby’s tiny, colourful overalls and sliding him back across the chairs and into his lap. The baby made a few short, frustrated noises before reaching out to Sidney and outright starting to wail.

The man shot Sidney a surprised and apologetic look and stood up, pacing a bit as he rocked the baby and murmured to him.

“ _Лё-ёшь, чщ-чщ-чщ-чщ! Ну, ну, ну! Ну, что с тобой, Лёша? Что случилось-то, мм?_ ”

Sidney knew he needed to keep working, but he couldn’t help looking up, watching the man hold the wailing baby to his chest and bounce him a little.

“ _О-о, я понял...Человек тебе понравился, и я даже не дал тебе сказать приветик, да? Ой, какой ужас! Ой, господи, как жизнь сложна!_ ”

The man adjusted his grip so that he was holding the baby with one arm and started digging in his pocket with the other. When he pulled out a set of keys and jingled them, the baby’s wails faltered a little.

“ _Лёш, смотри! Что это?_ ” The man gasped and jingled the keys again. The baby was silent for a few moments before starting to wail again.

“ _Что это, Лёша? Твоя любимая игрушка? А? Это твоя любимая игрушка, да, Лёш?_ ” The man said, jingling the keys a bit closer to the baby. When the baby’s eyes focused on the keys, he stopped wailing and made a little dissatisfied noise, then he finally reached out for the keys, like he had forgotten what he was so upset about.

“ _Да-а...Во-от, Лёш...хорошенький какой..._ ” The man said, smiling at the baby and letting him take the keys from his hands. They immediately ended up in in the baby’s mouth. Sid smiled a bit; he’d been expecting that.

Okay, that had been enough side-tracking...Sidney reread his email and wrote a response that hopefully made their client realise that  _no_ , their company did  _not_  just install new computers to an entire building so that their clients could run a six-month free-trial run of an expensive operating system. There were pay-plans for that. When he was satisfied with the email, he hit send and moved on to the next email.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

871 emails to go.

Sid had just finished reading it when he heard the man start speaking again next to him.

“ _Не-не, Лёш, ты остаёшься здесь...Лё-ёш...”_

Sid peeked at them out of the corner of his eye and saw that man had hooked a finger into the little overalls suspenders again, and although the baby was trying his best to crawl back over to Sidney, he wasn’t getting anywhere. The baby found it very frustrating, and was letting everyone know, but the man found it very amusing, so much that he was trying to stifle a laugh. The sight brought a little smile to Sid’s lips. He made eye contact with the man and they exchanged amused smiles before Sid turned back to his email.

Sid read the last lines of his email again, but his thoughts kept pulling him back to the scene next to him. He allowed himself to glance back at the baby, then tried to return to the task at hand, but he just couldn’t make himself focus.

Sid frowned down at his computer screen. He had always wanted children. He’d allowed himself to think that that part of his life wasn’t so far away, but that was before—

“ _Не-не, Лёш..._ ”

Sid looked down as he felt a touch on his leg, unable to help smiling when he was again met with those big, curious brown eyes. The man stood up and picked up the baby, who had somehow wriggled his way out of his father’s grasp.

“Sorry,” the man said quietly to Sidney. “He don’t, uh...usually do this...”

“It’s okay, really,” Sid said, smiling up at him.

“He just want say hi, I think,” the man said with a little chuckle. As if on cue, the baby reached his arms out to Sidney and let out a long, frustrated cry. The man chuckled again. “And...papa’s mean, don’t let him. We not annoy nice man, right, Lyosh?”

Sidney smiled. “No no, it’s ok; he can say hi,” he said, reaching up and letting the baby grab onto his finger. “Hello there, uh...What’s his name?”

“Alexei,” he answered, pride warming his eyes as he looked at the baby in his arms.

Sidney smiled at them. “Nice to meet you, Alexei. My name is Sidney.”

“ _О, его Sidney зовут! Скажи привет, Лёш!_ ” the man said, and the baby made a delighted noise and waved Sidney’s finger in his little fist as much as he could. A warmth spread itself through Sidney’s chest and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling. Oh.

 _Oh_. He’d forgotten how much he’d wanted this, how strongly the family life had been calling to him...he was momentarily tempted to ask to hold the baby, but...that would probably cross a line. What responsible parent would just let some random person in an airport terminal hold their child? It was absurd.

“Hey, Alexei, can I have my finger back now?” Sidney said to the baby softly. “I need it to write some emails, ok?”

The baby giggled, but gave no indication that he was going to let go. Instead, he was trying to put Sidney’s finger in his mouth.

“ _Эй, Лё-ёш, ну? Давай...поверни доброму человеку его палец_ ,” the man said, coming in closer to help in the extrication process.

The man’s hand covered Sidney’s almost completely. His hand was so huge...and soft...and warm...and— _oh_. Sidney swallowed, feeling his face grow hot as the man finally freed his finger from the baby’s grasp. That was  _definitely_  an inappropriate emotion to be having right now, so he tamped it down. He cleared his throat and adjusted in his seat.

“He’s a...really cute kid,” Sid said, smiling up at the man.

“Yeah, most cute kid ever.” The man smiled and looked at his kid again, that same warm pride filling his eyes. Sidney watched that same sadness flash momentarily through his eyes, but it was gone as quickly as it had come.

The baby was obviously upset that Sidney’s finger had been taken away from him and was starting to make his short little frustrated noises again, reaching his arms out to Sidney. The man made an amused noise and sat down in the seat next to Sidney’s.

“He seems...really likes you,” the man said. “You want...hold him? Then maybe later he leave you alone.”

Sidney wasn’t sure he believed his ears.

“Oh, for sur—I mean...can I?” he asked, closing his computer and hoping he didn’t sound too hopeful.

“Yeah,” The man said, digging around in a bag next to him. “Wait, let me...I give you his...blanket. He, um...mm...don’t know how to say. Lots, uh...spit?”

Sidney laughed and put away his computer. “Oh, he’s a drooler, eh?”

The man shrugged. “I think? Don’t know how to say. It’s like...?” the man made a gesture with his finger like drool dripping down the baby’s chin.

Sidney nodded. “Yep, that’s drool.”

“Oh, dr...drool? Ok, yeah,” the man repeated with a laugh, pulling a blanket out of the bag. “That’s Lyosha. Lots, uh...drool. Everywhere.”

“Ah, it’s ok. He’s a baby. That’s normal,” Sidney laughed, watching as the man stood and draped the blanket over Sidney’s shoulder. “Especially if he’s teething...I noticed that he wants to put everything in his mouth...”

“Teething?” The man asked as he carefully placed Alexei into Sidney’s arms.

“Are his teeth growing in?” Sidney asked, his hand instinctively coming up to cradle the baby’s head.

“Oh, yeah!” The man said. “They already bother him a lot. You know a lot about kids? You have kid, too?”

Sidney shook his head. “Oh, no, I’m not, uh...no, I-I love kids, but, uh...no, I don’t have any children. I just, uh, took care of my baby sister when we were younger.”

The man made an interested noise.

“Uh, is he your first, or do you have other kids?” Sidney asked.

“He’s first. He’s...miracle,” the man said, a hint of that same sadness passing back over his eyes again before he smiled and it was gone.

Sidney did his best to ignore it. It wasn’t his place to ask. Instead, he smiled down at Alexei, who had calmed down and was sucking his thumb, warm and completely content falling asleep against Sidney’s chest.

“Ah, you, uh...you and your wife must be very happy,” Sidney said softly.

A strange look passed over the man’s face. “No wife anymore. Just me.”

“Oh, sorry, I...” Sidney stuttered. “I-I didn’t mean to assume—“

“No, It’s ok. Normal to think,” the man said, distractedly smiling down at his son.

Now Sidney really wanted to ask what happened, but it really wasn’t his place...so he just looked down and gently patted Alexei’s back. Alexei’s eyelashes fluttered a bit, but his eyes stayed closed. A wave of fondness suddenly broke over Sidney and he just stared for a moment before he realised where he was. He was in an airport, holding the son of a man whose name he didn’t even know. He took a short breath.

“Uh,” Sidney began, keeping his voice low. “Sorry, I don’t think I caught your name?”

The man looked surprised for a moment. “Oh! Yeah, sorry! I’m probably forget tell you!”

Sidney chuckled softly. “It’s ok.”

The man stuck out his hand. “Evgeni. Can call me Geno, though. Easier for American.”

“Nice to meet you, Geno,” Sidney said, shaking Evgeni’s hand with his free hand. “But uh, I’m Canadian, not American.”

“ _Ой, извините_ ,” Geno said, a funny expression on his face, like he was seeing Sidney’s eyes for the first time. “I’m...assume too.”

Sidney averted his eyes. “It’s okay.”

“...So, you Canadian, yeah?” Geno said after a pause. “You like hockey?”

Sidney’s face lit up. “I love hockey! I’d do it for a living if I could, but...” Sidney stopped, realising he probably shouldn’t be spilling his guts in front of this guy he just met, even if he had trusted him with holding his baby.

“...But?” Geno prompted. When Sidney looked up at his face, he was surprised to find that he actually looked interested in the rest of the story.

“Uh...well, my...dad died when I was twelve and...I had to get a job to help support my family, and...well, our lifestyle really didn’t...lend itself to, uh...to a career in hockey. We...I just...never had the time or the money.”

Geno made a sad-sounding noise.

“Sad,” he said.

“I mean, it’s okay,” Sidney said quickly. “I, uh, I still play in our local night league, and I’m not bad, if I do say so myself.”

“Hmm,” Geno said. “Maybe, but I’m better, I think...”

Sidney’s lips curled into a sly smile at the challenging tone. “Oh really? You’ve never even seen me play.”

Geno shrugged. “True...but I’m best. I’m already know.”

Sidney shook his head. “I’d like to see about that...are you flying to Montréal, too?”

Geno nodded.

“How long are you staying?” Sidney asked before realising that was probably a bit bold...though, maybe not as bold as claiming he’s the best...

“We stay...either three months, or...don’t know, long time, if I find job.”

Sidney blinked at him. “Oh...you’re thinking about moving to Canada?”

Geno nodded. “I’m...need change. Moscow – nice, but...” Geno’s eyes became distant for a moment before he shook his head and continued. “I’m need change,” he repeated.

Sidney nodded. “I get that...” he said, trailing off. It was getting harder to resist asking about Geno’s life now, so Sidney searched for another subject to ask about, but Geno started talking before he could say anything.

“Thank you for hold him,” Geno said, looking fondly down at Alexei. “He so...uncomfortable all day, I’m happy he’s finally sleep.”

“Oh, please, it’s my pleasure! He’s helping me feel better, too,” Sidney blurted. He was surprised at himself. He didn’t usually overshare this much.

Geno gave him a sympathetic look. “Bad day?”

Sidney nodded. “Yeah, uh...flight redirections and cancellations left and right...To be honest, I’m just...ready to be home.”

“Yeah, I understand,” Geno said nodding, that sadness passing his eyes again. He was quiet for a moment before he looked up at Sidney like he was realising something. “Oh, but...it’s not bother you? You have work now, or...?”

Sidney looked down at his laptop bag. “No, no, it’s fine! Those emails will still be there when I touch down in Canada,” he said, looking down fondly at Alexei when he twitched in his sleep.  _But I don’t get to do this forever_ , Sidney didn’t say.He didn’t have to, though, because Geno chuckled softly.

“Take you time,” he said softly. “He like you.”

Sidney laughed softly. “Yeah...I think he does...”

He heard Geno let out a sigh and looked up in time to see Geno looking down at the floor with an unreadable look on his face.

“Uh...Geno?” Sidney found himself asking. “Why...did you leave Moscow?”

Geno was quiet for a moment.

“I mean, it’s okay if...you don’t want to...to tell some, uh...random person in an airport, uh...I just...” Sidney back-pedalled.

“No, is...is ok,” Geno said, his voice a little strained. “Alexei trust you, it’s enough for me.”

Sidney blinked at him.

“My wife...” Geno cleared his throat. “She...we in car...go to hospital...an—” Geno‘s voice broke off, and he closed his eyes, taking a second to breathe through it.

“Drunk guy. Hit us. Kill her.”

Sidney’s soul dropped to his feet.

“Ohh...” Sidney said, resisting the urge to touch Geno’s arm. “Oh, Geno, I...I’m sorr—“

“Is okay. Don’t have to be sorry. We save Lyosha. It’s...most important thing...” Geno trailed off, looking for a moment like he was lost in a sea of hellish memories, and then shook his head. “Anyway, it’s already almost one year ago,” he said, taking a tissue out of his bag and blowing his nose in it. The noise caused Alexei’s eyes to flutter open, but he soon yawned and let his eyes close again.

“I, uh...happy you help. Lyosha, uh...not this calm when he sleep...long time,” Geno said. “So, thank you.”

“I...I’m happy to help,” Sidney said in a small voice.

They were quiet for a moment before Geno took in a breath like he was going to say something.

“So, uh...you have girl in Montréal? Dog? Nice house?” Geno said, something unreadable behind his eyes.

“Oh, uh...no, uh...I uh, broke up with my girlfriend a...a while back and, uh...I don’t...really have time for pets anymore, I...travel so much for work,” Sidney said, supposing he’d overshared so much already that it couldn’t hurt to keep going. “But, uh...” Sidney cleared his throat. “I actually have an apartment in Laval.”

Geno made an interested noise. “What you do for work?”

“Uh, I work for a logistics company, actually...uh, I oversee the implementation of...” Sidney trailed off when he realised that Geno looked a little lost. “Uh, I...I just help companies learn new systems to solve problems that they’ve been having.”

Geno nodded like he’d followed that time.

“Ah, it’s good work?”

Sidney shrugged. “It pays the bills,” he said.

Geno smiled. “But...is not hockey, yeah?”

Sidney laughed softly. “Right,” he said. He suddenly felt a little strange. His ex girlfriend hadn’t seemed to understand his deep love for hockey or how strongly he felt about building a family, and...here was some random Russian guy with big, warm hands in the Paris airport who let him hold his baby and seemed to understand his love for hockey and happened to be single...

Sidney took a deep breath. No. He needed to stop right there. Thinking like that was just selfish of him. He’d just met this guy. He knew almost nothing about him. He didn’t really know what this guy was thinking. Besides, the guy was Russian and had been married. He probably wouldn’t be open to an...unconventional relationship.

Geno suddenly yawned and Sidney found himself smiling. Alexei looked just like him when he yawned.

“So tired...” Geno sighed, his eyelids drooping.

Before Sidney knew what he was doing, his mouth was already moving. “Why don’t you sleep a little? I don’t think Alexei’s going to want to wake up anytime soon. You might as well get some rest, too.”

A small smile spread over Geno’s face, but Sidney still caught the wary look in his eyes. “You...watch him? It’s...not problem?”

“No, no problem at all,” he said. “I’d be glad to.”

Geno’s eyes searched Sidney’s for a moment before he yawned again.

“ _Ладно_...” Geno said, reaching over and softly rubbing Alexei’s back before dropping his arm to his lap and letting his eyes shut. “ _Спокойной ночи..._ ”

Over the course of the next few minutes, Geno yawned and struggled to get comfortable in the small airport chair. When he finally found a comfortable position, he let his legs spread a bit, and Sidney’s heart sped up when Geno’s knee settled right against his. Sidney took a breath and willed his heartrate to slow down. So what if this was everything he wanted? This wasn’t his.

Despite his conflicting emotions, Sidney couldn’t help smiling as he watched Geno’s head list to the side...and fall right onto his left shoulder. Sidney froze as another wave of fondness crashed over him. He closed his own eyes, wishing his emotions would knock it the hell off.

Alexei suddenly took a deep breath in his sleep and shifted slightly, and Sidney suddenly felt that warm fondness wash over him again. Sidney took a breath and let it out slowly, reminding himself again that this wasn’t his. But if this was the closest he was going to get to being in a family of his own, he at least wanted to enjoy it while it lasted.

He shook his head, wondering how he’d ever thought he could have something like this with Jessica. Maybe he should have waited longer to ask her for her thoughts about having a family? Was four years too short a time?

Sidney sighed. That wasn’t really it, and he knew it. They were terrible for each other. He’d just fallen too fast and too hard, and she always told him he had too many plans and too many expectations. He was always ‘too driven’, or ‘too attached to his hockey’, and he suddenly wondered how many nights on the couch after his night league games counted as too many.

He’d always tried his best to compromise with her, tried his best to do what he was supposed to. He gave her fancy gifts, just like the other guys at the company gave their wives and girlfriends. He paraded her around in front of his colleagues at those fancy company parties like she’d implied she wanted...but none of it ever seemed to be enough for her.

He closed his eyes as the thought about the day she’d moved out. It had started out like any other day. He’d gotten up early, made breakfast, like he did every morning, and brought her a latté in bed. Later, she’d come out of the bedroom and sat down with him at the table. She’d looked tense. When he jokingly asked if the latté had been that bad, she didn’t even answer.

Maybe he should have kept his mouth shut. But no, he knew now that it was better this way.

_“Jess, uh...can I ask you something?”_

_“What?”_

_“Uh...what...do you want? I just want to make you happy, but...I don’t know what you want from me.”_

She’d laughed bitterly at him then.

_“You want to make me happy, Sidney?”_

_“Yes! I—”_

_“Then stop asking me and just do it.”_

_“But, Jess, I don’t kn—“_

_“Sidney, it is not that hard. When I smile, it means I’m happy, when I frown, it means I’m not. Do things that make me smile, and we’ll be fine.”_

_“Jess. Sometimes, you smile at me when you’re upset—“_

_“Then just learn the fucking difference, Sidney!”_

Sidney had looked at her differently then. Like he didn’t know her anymore. Where had this come from? Where had his Jess gone?

_“I...Jess, I can’t read your mind, I need you to tell me—“_

_“Jeezus, Sidney. Do I smile when you spend more time playing your hockey video game than you do paying attention to me? Do I smile when you ask me if I want kids?”_

Sidney’s heart had sunk to the floor then.

_“Jess, I—“_

_“Here’s a hint: No, Sidney! I don’t smile then. I don’t smile when you come back home at two in the morning on Friday nights! Maybe you could just live a little with me before we ruin our lives with a child—“_

_“Jessica!”_

_“What? A baby is hard work, Sidney! And I’ll have to do all of it, because you’ll be more interested in your hockey—“_

_“You think I wouldn’t help you?!”_

_“If we had a child, you’d probably still spend all your free time playing that dumb hockey video game, and leave me alone with the kid on Friday nights! Then I’d be stuck doing all the housework and taking care of the child all by myself!”_

Realisation had slapped Sidney in the face then. Hard.

_“You...don’t know me at all, do you, Jessica?”_

His voice had been quiet; his expression had been strange, unreadable.

_“Excuse me?”_

_“You never even wanted to. You don’t care about me at all, do you? You just care about what I can do for you.”_

He’d dropped his fork to the table, emotion raising the volume of his voice.

_“Can you tell me what my favourite movie is? Or-or my favourite food?”_

His eyes had glinted as he stared at her.

_“You can’t, can you?”_

_“Sidney, stop it—“_

He’d stood up then.

_“When was the last time you called me Sid?”_

_“Sidney—“_

_“When is my_ **_birthday_ ** _, Jessica?”_

She’d scoffed, rolled her eyes at him, and put her own fork down.

_“Do you even know? Do you...even care?”_

_“Sidney, calm down, I was—“_

He’d shaken his head.

_“No. I don’t think I want to calm down this time. I thought you loved me, but, y–...”_

He paused to laugh at how foolish he had been. He should have seen this coming.

_“You don’t even care about me enough to remember my goddamn birthday! Well, here: if you don’t mind, I’d like to reintroduce myself!”_

_“Sidney, please—“_

_“Hello, Jessica, my name is Sidney! I’m 27 years old. Someday, I want to get married and have a family! I like hockey, and when I was little, it was my dream to play in the NHL. But when I was twelve, my father died, and I had to get a job washing cars to help support my mother and little sister. I had to give my mother my entire pay cheque so we could keep our house, and you know what? I got another job as a paper boy just so I could make sure that my little sister had presents under the tree at Christmas; so that she never found out how poor we were!”_

Jessica had gone silent then, staring at him.

_“So yes, when I need to relax after a long day at a job I hate, I like to play my fucking hockey video game, and yes, I like to go out and play hockey with the boys on Friday nights. Because that’s the closest I’ll ever get to living my dream. It’s too goddamn late for me to get into the NHL. My dreams have always had to go on the back burner. And you know something? I was almost ready to put them on the back burner for you, too, but if you don’t like that I play one little hockey game on my TV after I sit and try to talk to you while we eat the dinner that I made and put on the table for you, then you can get the HELL out of my apartment!”_

_“Sidney...I live here, too—“_

_“Oh yeah? Do you? How do you show it? Do you buy groceries? Okay, yes, but with my money, and from a list that I write. Do you cook? Oh, no...I do all the cooking in this house. Do you do the dishes? No! You don’t! Because they gross you out! So I do them! Do you do the laundry? NO! Me again! Wow! Do you—”_

_“Sidney—”_

_“What? Let’s face it, Jessica, if we had a child, I wouldn’t have time to play hockey. I would be the one taking care of the child, and I would still be the one doing all the work around the house, because you don’t. You_ **_won’t_ ** _. It’s a wonder I even find time to play my video game as it is! And here I was thinking...’if I could just make her happy, maybe she’ll start thinking of this as her home and start helping me around here’...”_

_“Sidney, you’re being—“_

Sidney had held up his hand, interrupting her with an angry smile on his face.

_“What? Jess? Am I being unreasonable? Well, here’s a question for you: Whose name is on the lease? Oh, that’s right. Mine. Not yours. You moved in with me. I happen to like it here, but you have no obligation to stay. If you hate it here so goddamn much, you can go! There’s the door.”_

_“Sidney, baby—“_

He’d recoiled away from her touch and grabbed his dishes. There had been a time when he’d lived for that touch, but now, it felt cold and stung his skin.

_“Don’t ‘baby’ me, Jessica. Just don’t.”_

Alexei suddenly twitched in his sleep, pulling Sidney back to the present. Alexei was probably dreaming, and Sidney found himself hoping they were good dreams. He smiled at the baby in his arms as a warmth spread over his chest, chasing away the bitter cold his memories had brought.

Sidney caught himself looking down at Geno’s head on his shoulder, too. He hoped Geno was dreaming good dreams as well. He looked so tired. He deserved the rest. He deserved...a good life.

Sidney knew he shouldn’t, but...he slowly and carefully rested his head against Geno’s. As soon as he had, his heart suddenly felt full, and he felt more complete than he ever had...

Sidney lifted his head, suddenly feeling shameful. Okay, that was enough make-believe. No matter how good this felt, it didn’t change the fact that he had only known these two for less than an hour. He couldn’t expect that this would turn out the way he wanted it to, and that made him feel...wretched.

He frowned, until he suddenly realised that Alexei’s eyes were open, and he was watching him. Sidney smiled at him and patted his back.

“It’s okay, Alexei,” Sidney whispered. “Sidney’s just...a little sad, that’s all. It’ll go away.”

Alexei made a little noise and reached up to touch Sidney’s face, like he’d done with Geno’s earlier, and Sidney smiled as a tear rolled down his cheek. Then Alexei shifted again, crawling up higher on Sidney’s shoulder and settling with his head against both Sidney’s cheek and his father’s head.

“ _Niy_...”

“You’re so wonderful, Alexei...” Sidney whispered before he could stop himself. Sidney rubbed the baby’s back and hummed a tune for him as he slowly drifted back to sleep.

After a while, Geno took a deep breath and shifted. His head slipped off of Sidney’s shoulder and lightly bumped against the window behind them. Sidney sent a glance at him, hoping it hadn’t hurt, but Geno didn't even stir, so Sid smoothed down Alexei’s hair and continued humming.

Alexei’s hair was so soft, and his hands were so tiny...he was the most beautiful baby boy Sidney had ever seen. His heart dropped a bit when he thought about how this poor boy would never be able to meet his mother...it truly wasn’t fair for her to be ripped away from him at such an early age. And all of this must have been so tough on Geno...

Sidney was so caught up in his thoughts and feelings as he hummed and rubbed Alexei’s back, that he didn’t even notice anyone was walking by until he heard a little chuckle.

“My...what a beautiful family! What a beautiful baby!”

Sidney quickly looked up to a see an old woman smiling down at him.

“Oh, uh—“

“Your child is absolutely darling...what’s his name?”

“A-alexei...” Sidney answered dumbly. He started to tell her the truth, explain to her that he was just holding him, but something stopped him. How was he supposed to explain to this woman that he was just some random guy in an airport who, just a short hour ago, didn’t even know the baby he was currently cradling lovingly in his arms?

“Alexei!” The old woman put a hand to her chest. “A beautiful name for a beautiful boy!”

“Yeah...” Sidney said, smiling down at Alexei. Maybe if he ignored the nice old woman, she would go away and he wouldn’t have to explain himself? Maybe she would go away and he wouldn’t have to think about how desperately he wished that what she had assumed was true.

“Did you name him? Or did your husband name him?” The old woman asked.

Sidney blinked up at her.

“My—“

The old woman must have assumed he didn’t hear her, because she smiled and pointed at Geno.

“Your hot husband!” she whispered with a wink. “Did he name Alexei?”

“Oh!” Sidney felt his face flush. “Uhh...”

“Yes, I’m name him,” Geno suddenly said.

Sidney snapped his gaze back at Geno, who was smiling up at the old woman like he’d just won some award. Sidney hadn’t even realised he’d been awake! Sidney suddenly wanted to hide his head in the sand.

“Well, you chose very well! And I don’t just mean the name!” The old woman said, winking and gesturing at Sidney.

“Agatha! I found us a seat! Come sit with me!”

“Oh, that’s my wife, I better go...You boys have a good night!” The old woman said with a bright smile. “Bye-bye, Alexei!” She whispered with a little wave as she left.

As soon as she was out of earshot, Sidney looked down at Geno’s knee and started scrambling to explain himself.

“I...I’m sorry, Geno, she just assumed...and I didn’t—I-I couldn’t—“

“Sidney, is ok,” Geno laughed. “She think we married? Is ok. You care about Alexei so well, of course she think.”

Sidney looked up to meet Geno’s gaze, surprised at the warm smile he saw there.

“I-I...” Sidney hung his head. “Did...you hear me humming to him?”

“Yes, Sid, I hear,” Geno said, chuckling. “You...very good with him.”

Sid looked down at Alexei’s little head to avoid Geno’s eyes. He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

“He’s, uh...well-behaved...”

“For you, behave well!” Geno chuckled. “For me, he run around everywhere! Love to scream. But...is okay. He’s miracle.”

Sidney nodded, and blinked back a tear, surprised at how much those words tugged at his heartstrings. These emotions were so new, he wasn’t sure how to handle them. He’d never felt so strongly about a couple of strangers before. He was sure it had something to do with how content Alexei looked sleeping on his chest.

Suddenly, however, Alexei yawned and his eyes blinked open. He shifted like he was a little uncomfortable and started to fuss a little. He grasped the collar of Sidney’s shirt in his little fist and tried putting it in his mouth.

“Oy, sorry...” Geno said, quickly taking Sid’s collar out of Alexei’s little hand “Here, let me, uh...I don’t kno—”

“I think he’s hungry,” Sidney blurted.

Geno blinked. “Oh, yes, I should...give him his bottle...”

Geno reached over to the baby bag next to him and brought out a bag of premixed formula, loading it into Alexei’s bottle. Alexei was grabbing at Sidney’s shirt and jacket and putting his mouth on all the buttons. Sidney gently extracted them from his mouth, and then Geno picked him up.

Without thinking, Sidney stood and draped Alexei’s blanket over Geno’s shoulder and then sat back down next to him, putting some of the things Geno had taken out while looking for the bottle back in Alexei’s baby bag. He didn’t see Geno looking at him with a warm expression on his face as he fed Alexei in his arms.

“You very helpful,” Geno said suddenly, causing Sid to snap his gaze up. He immediately turned red when he realised what he was doing.

“I...sorry, it’s...just a habit...I...”

Geno smiled at him.

“I’m s—well...when my sister was younger, I...I used to...help out like that and I...” his voice grew a little quieter. “I guess I miss it.”

“I’m so happy you help me, Sidney...I’m not sleep good...long time, and...just...” Geno smiled at him. “Thank you, Sidney.”

“It’s no problem at all, really...”

Sidney tried to smile back, but he couldn’t quite do it without feeling a sadness slowly washing over him. He looked down at the floor, his face thoroughly red. Now that Alexei was back in his father’s arms, it was even harder for Sidney to forget that he was just a random guy in an airport; a stranger to this wonderful, attractive guy and his beautiful son. Sidney had probably majorly overstepped his bounds.

“Sidney?”

Sidney looked up, surprised at the softness in Geno’s voice.

“You look...sad. You okay?”

Sidney was surprised at how genuinely interested Geno seemed in his answer.

“I...it’s...been a rough...” Sidney breathed out a bitter laugh. “I’ve had a hard few years.”

Geno nodded understandingly.

“I’m...can ask why you...break up with girlfriend?” Geno asked quietly.

Sidney blinked at him. He hadn’t expected that.

“If you...don’t want say, is...your business, but—”

“No, it’s okay. I...well, I haven’t really talked to anyone about it yet...maybe it’s time I should.”

Geno nodded at him, looking genuinely interested in what he had to say. Sidney took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

“She and I were...not a good fit. She’s this...beautiful blonde, and I’m—”

“Why’s matter what she look like?” Geno snorted, then when he realised that he’d said that aloud, he winced and hung his head a bit. “Sorry, continue.”

“Uh, no...you’re right, it doesn’t,” Sidney said. He’d never thought about it like that before, but Geno was right. “I don't know why I said that.”

Sidney cleared his throat and continued.

“Well, she...first of all, she didn’t share my...passion for hockey at all...”

Geno looked incredulous and shook his head.

“And she...well...nothing I ever did was good enough for her. And I did...everything. Laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning...everything. I probably should have seen it sooner...just how...unbalanced we were together. I wanted to make her happy, but I forgot to consider that maybe, she didn’t share my...goals in life.”

Geno nodded sympathetically.

“She would always change the subject when I brought up starting a family...that should have been my first clue.”

Geno looked sad at that and shook his head again.

“You...always want have kids, and she say no?”

Sidney just nodded. Geno shook his head.

“Her choice, but...” he smiled down at Alexei. “She just don’t understand, how...wonderful, uh...” Geno made a general gesture with his hand. “Life...with child, uh...”

Geno chuckled. “Sorry, my English...terrible.”

“It’s okay, I understood you,” Sidney said. “You actually speak pretty well.”

Geno shook his head. “No, I’m not, but...thank you.”

“No, you really do!” Sidney laughed softly. “Hey, at least your English is better than my Russian.”

Geno blinked at Sid.

“You know Russian?”

“ _Chut-chut..._ ” Sidney said, making a ‘little-bit’ gesture with his hand. “I took a year of it in high school.”

Geno’s face lit up into a big smile.

“ _Ах, так это здорово! Хочешь мы с тобой практикуемся?_ ”  
[Ah, that's so great! Want to practice with me?]

Sidney smiled back. “ _Davai!_  I have to warn you, though, my vocabulary isn’t very big...”

Geno shook his head.

“ _Ерунда!_  You know  _говорить, читать, писать, да?_ ”  
[Nonsense!]

Sid shrugged a shoulder. “Well, yeah...speak, read, write, right?”

“ _Вот! Что больше нужно человеку? Ты уже можешь много чего говорить!_ ”  
[There you go! What more could a person need? You can already say a lot of things!]

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

Sid wasn’t sure where the hours had gone, because it almost seemed like he’d only been talking to Geno for moments before the gate attendant announced that they were beginning the boarding process.

Sidney’s heart sank a little as he put away his laptop. Soon, he’d be sitting on the plane, probably somewhere far away from Geno and Alexei. Near a goddamned window.

Sidney helped Geno put his things back into order and they headed over to stand in line together.

“It’s been...really nice talking to you and Alexei, Geno,” Sidney said, feeling empty as he said it.

Geno nodded, a sadness seeming to pass momentarily behind his eyes. “With you, too, Sidney.”

Before Sidney could stop himself, he found himself blurting, “You can call me Sid.”

“Okay, Sid,” Geno said, smiling warmly at him as he swayed and bounced on his heels, trying to calm Alexei, who had started to fuss and squirm against the baby carrier.

“And you call me Zhenya,” he said, his eyes seeming to linger on Sidney’s longer than normal.

“Okay, Zhenya,” Sidney replied, smiling back a bit dazedly, then looking at the floor. He  _wanted_  Geno to stare and smile at him, but it was unlikely for that to actually be happening. He was probably just seeing what he wanted to see.

“And call him Lyosha!” Geno said in a little sing-songy voice, playing with Lyosha’s hands and trying to distract him from being tired and uncomfortable. Geno looked back up at Sidney and smiled, as if he was making sure Sidney was watching and was very happy that he was.

Sidney’s heart clenched, but he couldn’t stop himself from smiling and stepping closer to pat Lyosha’s back.

“ _Privet,_  Lyosha.”

Sidney didn’t see Geno looking at him with a warm fondness in his eyes, because all too soon, Geno’s boarding group was called.

“Sid, uh...I want say thank you again...uh...” Geno scratched the back of his head, looking like he was contemplating saying something.

“Uh, Sid? Maybe...you want...babysit Lyosha sometime? I can...have your number? And call if I need help?”

Sidney blinked at him, almost unable to believe his ears. He couldn’t quite make himself respond for a moment.

“O—...y-yeah! Sh—of course!”

Sidney knew he probably sounded way overeager, but Geno looked relieved and handed Sidney his phone. Sidney typed in his number and handed the phone back to Geno, who immediately called him.

“I’m call you, so you can save my number in your phone.”

“Okay,” Sidney barely heard him, his heart was beating so fast. “Thanks!”

“No, Sidney, I’m should thank you!” Geno said, flashing Sidney a devastating smile as he inched closer to the front of the line. “I’m call you, ok?”

“Okay,” Sidney said, watching as Geno sent one last smile over his shoulder at him before disappearing down the corridor towards the plane.

Sidney let out a breath. He knew he had Geno’s phone number now, and the prospect of getting a call from him did help, but...he didn’t want to be away from them. He wanted to continue spending time with them. He wanted to hold Lyosha and let Geno sleep. He wanted Geno to put his head back on his shoulder. Sidney sighed and looked down. He just...wanted to feel connected again.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

When Sidney had finally gotten past the counter and into the corridor towards the plane, he found himself wondering where Geno and Lyosha would be sitting. Would they be near him? Maybe, he thought with a sigh, they would be on the other side of the plane from him. With his luck, that was probably how it would go. He would spend the flight thinking about them, if he was lucky, he would see them one last time at the baggage claim, and then he would go back to his empty apartment and think about them some more.

He would probably think about them the next day at work, and on Friday at that company party. He would probably think about them when he called his mom and sister to tell them about what stupid thing they gave him for his 10-years-of-service award, although he doubted anything could beat the clock he’d received for his 5-years-of-service award...what a way to tell someone that their time was ticking away. Sidney laughed bitterly to himself when he imagined receiving an hourglass. Okay,  _that_  could top the five-year award.

“Hello, bonjour, welcome aboard!” the flight attendant greeted Sidney as he stepped onto the plane.

“Thank you,” Sidney responded with a smile out of habit, but he wasn’t feeling it.

He found himself looking around as he walked towards the back of the aircraft towards his seat, searching for Geno. When he didn’t see him, he supposed Geno was probably in the lavatory changing Alexei. It had been long enough since he’d fed him that it would probably be time for that.

Sidney sighed as he found his window seat. He started to put his computer bag into the overhead bin when he heard someone behind him.

“Hello there! What are you doing sitting so far away from your family!?”

Sidney almost didn’t realise the old lady was talking to him until she touched his arm and repeated herself.

“What are you doing sitting so far away from your family, young man?”

Sidney stared at her like a deer in the headlights, stumbling over his words.

“Uh, well...I-I...”

“Switch plane tickets around, can’t get seat together,” came a familiar voice from behind him.

Sidney whipped around, and when he saw Geno there, holding Lyosha in his blanket, his heart began racing and a smile spread over his face. He had to physically stop himself from hugging Geno.

“They couldn’t get you a seat together? What do you think of that, Christie?”

“Well! That won’t do at all, Agatha!” She took Sidney’s elbow and led him over to a flight attendant, who was standing nearby. “Here, let’s get you a seat next to your husband!”

Sidney was speechless as he let himself be led. He felt like he was in a daze. He was happy, but he didn’t want to lie...but if lying would get him a seat next to Geno...

“Excuse me, miss? This kind young man and his husband got their seats separated in the change...would you happen to be able to get them some seats together?”

The flight attendant looked up at Sidney and then down at his boarding pass. “Oh, I’m sorry about that, sir! Let me see what I have available...where is your husband?”

Sidney opened his mouth to say something, but Christie was already pointing and talking.

“See that nice young man holding that baby?”

Geno saw her pointing and waved Lyosha’s arm, smiling a smile that made Sidney’s insides twist and a smile spread over his face.

“See? They’re new parents! They shouldn’t have to be separated, wouldn’t you agree?” Christie said.

The flight attendant agreed and walked over to Geno.

“Hello, Sir, may I see your boarding pass?”

Geno nodded, looked around for his boarding pass, looked at Lyosha, and then looked at Sidney.

“Sid, boarding pass in back right pocket, you can get for me?”

Sidney’s face was burning, but he felt himself moving forward, like it was someone else moving his hand and slipping it into Geno’s back pocket. He silently pulled the boarding pass out and handed it to the flight attendant, trying not to think about how he’d basically just been given permission to touch Geno’s ass.

The flight attendant took a look at the boarding pass and then nodded.

“One moment, sir, let me check something, okay?”

Geno nodded at her and smiled, swaying with Lyosha in his arms. Sidney just stood there in a daze until Lyosha made a noise, pulling him back to reality. He smiled over at Lyosha and noticed that he was reaching out to him, making those little frustrated noises again.

It didn’t take more than a moment for Lyosha’s noises started to get longer and more whiny. Sid and Geno exchanged glances, and when Geno gave a subtle nod, Sidney moved closer, gently taking both Lyosha and his blanket from Geno’s shoulder and holding him close, swaying slightly.

“Sh-sh-shh...it’s okay, Lyosha...I’m here...”

As soon as he was in Sidney’s arms, Lyosha’s frustrated noises got quieter, and he settled against Sidney’s chest, yawning.

Agatha sighed with a hand over her heart. “Oh, aren’t they just darling?”

“How you can get him sleep so fast?” Geno said, feigning reproachfulness, but his awe was clearly visible behind his pretence.

“It’s probably because I’m boring,” Sidney blurted.

That made Geno laugh out loud, and Lyosha squirmed and made an unhappy sound at the sudden loud noise.

“Sid, you not boring,” Geno said, stepping closer and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Sidney felt like he was on fire. If they were supposed to be spouses...Just how much could he get away with? He sent a glance back at Christie and Agatha before he leaned into Geno, settling himself against his body. He could say that he was trying to make more room if anybody asked. People were still walking around them, trying to get to their seats or to a lavatory.

Finally, the flight attendant walked back up to them.

“Okay, sirs, I found you two seats in row 17, if you’d like to follow me!”

Sidney nodded and as Geno grabbed their bags, Sidney turned to Christie and Agatha.

“Thank you,” he whispered.

Both old women winked at him and smiled, waving at Lyosha, even though he was asleep.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

When they finally sat down in their new seats, Sidney’s nerves were starting to calm somewhat. To Sidney’s delight, Geno took the window seat, so he and Lyosha took the seat next to him in the middle. Sid found himself humming and patting Lyosha’s back, and after a while, he could feel Geno’s eyes on him. When he looked up, he was surprised to see a fond smile on Geno’s face. Sidney smiled back and looked down at Lyosha. That fond smile was probably for his son...he was probably happy he had found someone who could help with him. That smile couldn’t be for him.

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

“ _Ух ты, смотри, Лёша! Облака похожа на зайчика!_ ”

Sidney smiled as Lyosha pressed his tiny hand to the window. He was glad they were finally in the air on their way to Canada, but the closer they got to home, the closer Sidney got to reality and his old, lonely apartment.

Lyosha turned and looked at Sidney, making a sound and patting his little hand on the window. The light of the sunrise made his little mop of brown hair look red and gold.

“ _Да, Sidney, смотри на зайчика!_ ” Geno said for him, smiling back at Sidney for a moment before turning back to the window.

“ _Da, ya vizhu_ ,” Sidney said, trying to ignore the warm feeling Geno’s smile had brought to his chest. Once they got to Canada, that’d be it. They’d get through the airport, go their separate ways, and everything would go back to normal.

All the same, Sidney leaned forward into Geno’s space and looked out the window at the golden sunrise. From his perspective, he couldn’t see the cloud Geno had shown Lyosha, but he didn’t have to. He saw the sun rising, and he knew now, that it was rising on a new life. He knew nothing would be the same after meeting Geno and Lyosha.

And he didn’t want it to be.


	2. From out here...

Sidney unconsciously held Lyosha a little tighter as they neared customs. He was dragging his feet; every inch closer to the exits was another inch closer to his empty little apartment in Laval. He would have offered for Geno to stay there, and then maybe it wouldn’t have felt so empty, but Geno mentioned on the plane that had already rented a place in Montréal. He had talked about how excited he was to finally see it...and Sid had tried not to feel disappointed about how far away it was from his own apartment. It was all pointless, really. No matter how much they  _looked_  like a family standing in this line, Sidney had to constantly remind himself that he’d only known these people for a few hours.

He looked over at Geno, who looked like he was falling asleep on his feet, and touched his arm to get his attention.

“You doing ok, Zhenya?”

Geno looked at him and smiled. “Yes, ok, Sid...Just very tired,” he said, rubbing his eyes.

Sid nodded. “Me too,” he said absently, staring up at the “all international passports” sign, and then over at the “all domestic and USA passports” sign. They would have to split up a lot sooner than Sidney wanted to. Would Geno wait for him on the other side if he got through first? ...was it okay for Sidney to wait for Geno if he was first through instead?

Sidney froze as Geno suddenly let out a sigh and put his head on Sidney’s shoulder for a moment.

“Carry me,” Geno mumbled, before lifting his head and chuckling softly.

Sidney’s whole body felt warm as he relaxed, but he knew he shouldn’t read too far into that...Russians probably just had a different idea of personal space.

“I can’t carry you both,” he said, laughing softly and giving Geno a sideways look.

Geno chuckled again. “True...true...” he said, rubbing his son’s cheek with his thumb. Lyosha sighed and nuzzled his face into the blanket on Sidney’s shoulder.

Sidney took a deep breath and let it out slowly, breathing through that warm, fond feeling again. For at least the next 15 minutes, he could stand close to Geno in this line, hold Lyosha close to his chest, and stop worrying about what was going to happen later. For at least the next 15 minutes, he could continue pretending that he’d finally found what he was looking for.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

As Sidney handed over his passport at the passport check, he was surprised at how...strange it suddenly felt not to be holding Lyosha. He told himself over and over again that Lyosha was with Geno, but he still felt strange being without him...he’d only known this child for literal hours, and he’d already begun to feel responsable for him—

“ _Monsieur_...Sir? ...Mr. Crosby?”

Sidney looked up at the passport agent, embarrassed that he’d gotten lost in his thoughts.

“Hm, sorry?”

“Here is your passport. Welcome home.”

Sidney thanked him in French with a nod and a half-hearted smile before walking through the gate. He looked down at the floor, trying to decide whether or not he should wait for Geno. Would that be weird? It’s not like they were...actually a family.

Sidney stopped and sighed, rubbing his forehead. It was dizzying how drastically his life had seemed to change in one night.

“Sid, look so tired...”

Sid snapped his gaze up to see Geno walking towards him with Lyosha in his baby carrier. That same warmth bloomed in his chest again, spreading a smile across his face.

“Well, uh, yeah, I guess I am...” Sidney almost couldn’t believe Geno was there in front of him. Maybe this whole thing was a dream...maybe he’d fallen asleep in the Orly Airport and had missed his flight. That would be more like his usual luck. This all just seemed...a little too good to be true.

“Let’s go?” Geno asked it like a question, like he was making sure Sidney was with him. “Get bags? Then you can go home, sleep.”

“Uh, right, yeah...let’s go,” Sidney said, his shoulder warm from where Geno’s hand was as he led him towards the baggage claims.

Before he could stop himself, Sidney found himself asking, “Do you have transportation from the airport?”

Geno nodded. “Already rent car. You?”

Sidney nodded, trying not to look disappointed. “Yeah, I parked my car in the parking structure.”

“You drive safe? Not too tired?” Geno asked, and when Sidney looked up at him, he had a little, slightly concerned-looking smile on his face.

Sidney couldn’t stop himself from smiling back. “I’ll be fine,” he said. He made it sound as much like a promise as he could.

They didn’t have to wait long at the bag claim before their things came through. Sidney just had his laptop case and one small rolling suitcase, but Geno had a lot of luggage: a big rolling suitcase, a hockey bag and three sticks, plus the baby bag and his own carry on bag.

“Do you...want me to help you carry all this to the car?” Sidney asked when Geno’s sticks finally came through the oversize claim.

Geno looked surprised for a half a moment. “Uh...it’s...not problem for you, Sid?”

“No, not at all! Let me get your hockey bag...you already have the most important thing,” he said, smoothing down Lyosha’s hair.

When Sidney picked up the bag and easily shouldered it, he didn’t see Geno looking at him like he was really seeing him for the first time. Sidney picked up the hockey sticks and headed towards the rental car desks.

“What company did you rent from?” Sidney asked over his shoulder.

“Avis,” Geno answered.

They both walked up to the desk and Geno got out his wallet and his phone.

“ _Bon matin, Monsieur!_  Good morning!” The young lady behind the desk said, obviously waiting for the reply so she knew what language to talk to him in.

“Hello, good morning,” Geno replied. “I rent car online? I just need keys.” Geno said, smiling and sliding his passport and his phone with the confirmation e-mail on it across the desk.

“Of course,  _monsieur_ , a moment, please...um...” The lady smiled back at him. She set to work looking up Geno’s confirmation number, but she kept glancing down at Alexei.

“I’m so sorry, but I just have to say: your baby is so cute!” she said while the computer was looking up the records.

“Yes! So cute! Thank you!” Geno smiled wider, pride in his eyes. “He know he cute, too...big problem for me. Can’t be angry...on him very long.”

“ _Oh, c’est très mignon,_ ” The desk attendant giggled. “What is his name?”

“Alexei,” Geno said, smiling warmly, and smoothing down Lyosha’s hair.

“Ohh, that is so  _cute_...I have always wanted a baby boy,” the desk attendant said. Sidney wasn’t sure if he imagined that she batted her eyelashes at Geno, but he couldn’t make himself look at her anymore. He looked down at the tile floor, knowing full-well that he had no right to be feeling jealous right now. He wasn’t responsible for Lyosha, and Geno was a grown-ass adult who could do whatever he wanted. But the desk attendant was so pretty, and Geno was being so charming...

“Yeah, me too,” Geno said. “So happy I have my Alexei.”

Sidney didn’t look up at them until he heard the desk attendant say, “Okay, _monsieur_ , here are your keys! I hope you have a wonderful trip.”

“Thank you very much,” Geno said, taking his documents and the keys, then winking at her as he walked away from the counter, making her giggle again.

They were silent for a while as they walked. It was difficult for Sidney ignore the tension in his chest. If this was going to be the way he felt whenever Geno interacted with another person, he should really not get involved. He already knew how this type of thing went. It probably wouldn’t be a very healthy relationship...even if he was just trying to be friends.

But then Sidney glanced over at Alexei, who was squirming in the baby carrier and making fussy noises, and realised that it was too late. He was already involved because he already cared about them. Maybe too much so.

Geno suddenly patted Sid on the shoulder. “ _Спасибо_ , Sid. I’m sorry, I’m should not...force you carry my things...”

“No, it’s alright,” Sidney said, a smile spreading over his face. “I offered.”

Geno breathed out a laugh. “Yeah, you do...thank you, Sid.” The sound of those last few words were dulled by Lyosha’s uncomfortable whine.

“It’s really not a problem,” Sidney said, stepping closer to smooth down Alexei’s hair as they walked. “Shh-shh, it’s okay, Lyosha...”

Lyosha let out another frustrated cry, but Sidney’s touches seemed to help him calm down a bit.

“He looks so tired...” Sidney said absently.

“Yeah, but is okay...soon we go to...new home, he can sleep.”

Sidney nodded and put down the hockey bag as they reached the rental car, then helped Geno load everything. The last thing they did was strap Alexei into his little rented carseat.

“ _Скажи пока-пока_ , Lyosha,” Geno said, smiling down at his son.

“Bye-bye, Lyosha,” Sidney said, playing with Lyosha’s foot one last time before Geno closed the car door. As soon as it was closed, Sidney could hear Lyosha’s little sounds of protest. Those would probably turn into wails soon. Sid really shouldn’t have looked in the window, because seeing Lyosha reaching out to him with that sad little look on his face just about broke his heart.

“Um...” Geno scratched the back of his head. “I want say, thank you again for help me, Sid.”

“It’s...no problem at all, really...” Sidney said, tearing his gaze away from Lyosha. This was it. Now he had to go to the parking structure, get into his car, go home, and try not to think about how empty he had begun to feel inside.

Geno was silent for a second, but he didn’t move to get into the car. He looked like he was trying to think of how to say something. They both looked up when Lyosha let out a long, loud cry.

“He need sleep...I should go,” Geno said finally, looking down at his hands. He looked up at Sidney. “Uh, I call you? Later?”

“Uh, sure?” Sidney was surprised, but he didn’t really expect Geno to call him later, whenever that ‘later’ was supposed to be. He really wanted him to, he just...didn’t want to get his hopes up.

Geno smiled. “Okay, Sid...” He hesitated like he wasn’t sure what to do, then stuck his hand out for Sid to shake. “Bye, Sid. Thank you!”

“You’re welcome, Zhenya,” Sid took Geno’s hand and shook it. His hand was huge, and so warm, and Sidney may have been enjoying it so much that he shook it a little longer than was socially appropriate. He felt his face burning as he dropped Geno’s hand.

“I’ll, uh...see you later, okay?” Sidney said, taking a few steps backward before he turned to walk away.

“See you, Sid,” he heard Geno say as he walked away.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

An idiot. That’s what he was.

Sidney sighed as he dropped his laptop bag onto his couch. He rolled his suitcase into the bedroom and just left it by the closet. He had to be at work in few hours. He could unpack later.

Sidney grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and nearly sat down on his laptop bag as he slumped down onto the couch. His apartment didn’t just feel empty now...it felt cavernous...hollow. Had he really never had time to hang pictures on the wall? Or was that just another lie he’d told himself?

Sidney sighed and put down his beer without even opening it. People weren’t supposed to be able to lie to themselves as well as he seemed to be able to. He’d lied himself into thinking Jessica actually loved him, hadn’t he? And he’d lied himself into thinking he had no time to hang pictures. Tonight, he’d lied himself into a seat on a plane next to a gorgeous Russian expat and his beautiful baby boy...and now he was trying to lie himself into thinking that Geno might be interested in him as anything other than a babysitter.

“Idiot,” Sidney whispered to himself, picking up his beer and opening it with one of his keys.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sidney was getting dressed for bed when a noise from the other room caught his attention. Was that his phone?

He ran into the sitting room and all but tore his phone from his laptop bag. When he saw the name on the display, his heart rate sped up.

“Hello?”

“ _Sid, hi! You still awake?_ ”

“I...yeah, Zhenya, I’m still awake.” Sidney couldn’t stop himself from smiling. He wasn’t prepared for how warm and happy he would feel at hearing Geno’s voice. He swallowed.

“ _Ah! Ok...I’m not...bother you?_ ”

“No, no! I’m...” Glad you called? Would that be awkward to say? Sidney couldn’t quite make himself say it. “I’m, uh...no, you’re not bothering me at all.”

“ _Ah, блин. Have to...next time I try harder,_ ” Geno said, chuckling softly on the other line.

Geno’s joke caught Sidney off guard and he laughed aloud. It had been a long time since he’d laughed like he had that night around Geno.

“So...How is everything?” Sidney asked when his laughter had calmed. “You guys get settled?”

“ _Yeah...I can’t get Lyosha sleep for long time, but I think he sleep now,_ ” Geno said. “ _He, uh...I think he miss you already._ ”

Sidney’s heart clenched. “...Really?”

He couldn’t think of anything else to say to that, except for how much he missed Lyosha, too...and how much he missed Geno...but wouldn’t it be strange to say that to a guy you just met?

“ _Yeah_ ,” Geno said, his voice sounding distant and distracted. He was quiet for a moment before he spoke again. “ _Uh, you drive home okay? Everything good with you?_ ”

“Yeah, everything’s been pretty normal,” Sidney said. He wasn’t going to mention that he’d had a beer and felt a little sorry for himself before he’d gotten his ass off the couch and actually started trying to move on with his life.

“ _Ah, it’s good. Glad to hear, Sid,_ ” Geno said, then Sidney heard a little noise of frustration on the other line. Alyosha must have not been asleep yet.

“ _Оп._.. _Чщ-чщ-чщ! Лёша, жизнь моя! Спи...чщ-чщ-чщ! Спи, дорогой..._ ”

Sidney heard Geno put the phone between his ear and his shoulder, and then some other movement. He must have picked Lyosha up.

That same warm fondness spread itself through Sidney’s chest when he heard Geno begin to sing Lyosha a lullaby. Sidney just listened for a moment, enjoying the deep tones of Geno’s voice, before he realised just how much he ached to be there with him, slowly and softly rocking Lyosha to sleep. He almost said as much. But he swallowed back his comment. It wasn’t his place to make it.

He heard some movement on the phone, like maybe Geno was putting Lyosha back into his cradle, and then more movement, as if Geno was adjusting the phone against his ear. He was still singing, but the song was getting quieter, like Lyosha was finally falling asleep and Geno didn’t want to keep him awake with the song.

“ _...Баю, баюшки баю...._ ”

Sidney heard what sounded like the click of a closing door on the other line, and then a deep sigh; a gentle laugh from Geno.

“ _Sorry_...”

“No, that was...” Sidney had to pause to swallow the lump in his throat. “That was, uh...a beautiful lullaby.”

Geno breathed out a laugh. “ _Oh, you like?_ ”

“Yeah, I do...”

Geno was quiet for a moment, but when he spoke again, Sid could hear the smile in his voice. “ _Thank you, Sid._ ” He paused, then lightly chuckled. “ _I’m think I’m...bad singer..._ ”

Sidney laughed. “No, you’re really good!”

Geno laughed back. “ _No_... _You not hear me sing other time, Sid. Horrible!_ ”

Sidney wouldn’t be able to stop smiling, even if he wanted to. “You’re right, I haven’t, but I know you sing well when you sing to Lyosha.”

Sidney had to admit, he loved the sound of Geno’s laugh. It was a light, carefree-sounding laugh that just made Sidney want to smile. He could see Geno in his mind’s eye...laughing with his head thrown back, like he had multiple times on the plane. Sidney suddenly ached to see it for real.

“ _Oh, Sidney...I...no, it’s...”_  He laughed again.  _“I know I’m bad singer...you not have to say—_ ”

“Hey, I think Lyosha would agree with me!” Sidney said, his smile brightening his voice.

“ _No, Sidney, I...think maybe he like...when you sing better_ ,” Geno said, his voice taking a softer tone.

“I...” Sidney didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t expecting that. His heart was fluttering in his chest.

“ _Sid, I think Lyosha...miss you a lot..._ ” Geno paused, then cleared his throat.  _“...Maybe...you can babysit? Tomorrow night? If you have time? Not too tired?”_

Tomorrow night? Sidney’s heart skipped a beat. He almost couldn’t believe it. He wanted to go by right after work—hell, he wanted to go over right now—but he needed to be cool about this. He had to do something to make sure he wasn’t coming off as too eager.

“I...uh, yeah, I can do, say, seven PM...is...that too late?”

“ _Oh...little bit late, yes...I have interview in seven..._ ” Geno trailed off for a second. “ _Can do six? I...make dinner for you?_ ”

Sidney blinked. Dinner? Was...that a normal thing to do for babysitters in Russia?

“Oh, I—...well, if you’re offering, I’ll, uh...yeah! See you at six?”

He hadn’t meant for the end of that to sound like a question, but he was still so surprised. It was like he wanted to make sure it wasn’t somehow too good to be true.

“ _Отлично! You come at six! I text you address! Thank you, Sidney!_ ” Geno said. Did he really sound that excited? Or was that just wishful thinking on Sidney’s part?

“Yeah, it’s really no problem at all!” Sidney said, playing with one of the buttons on his shirt. He was suddenly happy, excited, and nervous all at the same time. He took a breath. Tomorrow at six. He was going to get to spend most of the night with Lyosha! Geno would be gone for most of it, but he was going to make dinner...were they going to eat together?

“ _Okay, Sid, I...see you tomorrow,_ ” Geno said, his voice sounding quiet and gentle...maybe he’d opened that door from earlier and was looking down at Lyosha when he said it?

“...see you tomorrow, Zhenya,” Sidney said. He hadn’t quite meant to match Geno’s volume and tone, but it just sort of...happened that way.

“ _Bye..._ ”

Sidney stared at his phone for a while after they’d hung up. He would have kept wondering if that conversation had actually happened had it not been for his phone vibrating after a few moments. It was a text with Geno’s address. Sidney took a breath. This was happening.

Tomorrow at six.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno put down his phone and stared at the blank wall ahead of him. He must have been out of his mind...he hadn’t even unpacked yet, hadn’t even been in his apartment for more than a few hours yet—hadn’t even stocked the refrigerator yet—and he was already inviting someone over for dinner. But...this was Sidney...and there was something about Sidney. Something that made Geno feel...somehow drawn to him. Something he desperately wanted to figure out.

Mainly, he wanted to figure out why Alexei seemed to be so drawn to him. Sidney was so unassuming, and Geno honestly might not have noticed him sitting there at the airport if it hadn’t been for Lyosha taking such a sudden interest in him. Geno had been surprised to see his son reaching out to this stranger as if he knew and trusted him completely, and Geno had been even more surprised to find that Sidney was actually completely worthy of that trust.

At first glance, Sidney had looked like any other cranky businessman, stressed and angry at having to wait out a flight delay. But when Sid had exchanged amused glances with Geno as he held his son back by the suspenders, Geno had started to think there may be more to to this businessman than meets the eye. And when Lyosha had ‘escaped’ that second time, Sidney had looked down at Lyosha, and his expression had softened from an intensely focused frown into that little smitten smile...Geno’s interest had been piqued from then on.

Sidney was so kind and gentle with Lyosha, and he helped Geno with him without even thinking about it, as if it were second nature...It didn’t take Geno long to decide that he really liked that about Sidney. He was also friendly and knowledgable about babies, and on top of all that, he was approachable and so easy to talk to. The way Sid listened and engaged with Geno made him feel comfortable and interesting, and Sid’s smile was so...bright, and so...the only way Geno could think to describe it was ‘beautiful’.

Geno had to admit, a lot about Sidney was beautiful. At first, Geno hadn’t even noticed just how absolutely stunning Sidney’s eyes were, but they’d certainly startled him when he did. Geno had never seen such beautiful eyes on anyone but a woman before...although, if he thought about it, he guessed he’d never really...looked at other men that closely before. But if this one was going to be holding his son, he wanted to know who he was dealing with...and when he’d noticed those eyes, he’d been taken completely off-guard.

As the night went on, Geno had started noticing other beautiful things about Sidney...his personality, his laugh...Geno even liked his nose, and his hands, and the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled or laughed. What had caught Geno‘s eye the most, however, was the way Sidney looked at Lyosha, the way he held him, and the way he touched and talked to him. Or maybe it was the way Sid gently hummed and rocked Lyosha to sleep, holding onto him so delicately, so carefully; as if he were carrying the most precious thing in the world—as if he would protect him to his dying breath, even though he had only known him for a very short time. Or perhaps it was how he could get Lyosha to calm down in minutes, with or without Lyosh’s pacifier, or his little keys. Sidney was so gentle and seemed so caring...so loving...and Geno had been startled when he realised just how beautiful Sidney looked holding his son.

When those old ladies decided to assume that he was married to Sidney? He’d decided to throw caution into the wind and go along with it. At the very least, it had earned him a chance to sit with his new friend on the airplane...but...Geno sensed that it may have meant a bit more to him than that. Especially in light of how emboldened it made him feel, to the point that he’d actually asked Sidney to dig his boarding pass out of his back pocket. Not to mention just how...warm and comfortable he’d felt when Sidney had pressed up against him on the plane. Maybe it was just the loneliness talking, but it had almost felt...normal. Like home.

Or maybe it was just the idea that starting a new life in Canada gave him the freedom to do whatever he wanted. Either way, Geno knew he had to figure out if the feelings he felt around Sidney only had to do with Lyosha, or if it was...something else.

He really wanted to know. He just...really wasn’t sure how to go about finding out.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sidney took a deep breath, thankful to be alone in the elevator that morning. He’d only slept a few hours, and because of that, he knew he’d have trouble keeping his emotions from surfacing and showing on his face. He really didn’t want to have to explain to someone why he was feeling out of sorts; or, more accurately, how he felt like he’d entered some sort of alternate reality. Was he really going to go have dinner with Geno that night? Was he really going to be able to babysit Lyosha? It almost felt like a daydream.

He put on a neutral face as he exited the elevator and walked over to his office. When he’d closed his glass door, a sense of normalcy descended upon him, and it all seemed much harder to believe. Had he even really met Geno? But when he unlocked his phone and found Geno’s phone number still in his contacts, he supposed it had to have been real.

Sidney slumped down into his chair and started to grab his laptop, but he hesitated, looking around his desk. He hadn’t had many belongings to move to his new office...just a few pens, pencils, highlighters, his stapler, tape, sticky notes, and the glass clock he’d received at his five-years-of-service ceremony. When he’d started at the company, he’d barely had a cubicle to himself. Now he had an office with a bird’s eye view of Montréal through floor-to-ceiling windows and his own parking space in the company parking garage.

He was so far from where he’d been as a teenager, and before this last business trip, he was even proud of what he had accomplished. But today, he stared at his polished glass desk and wondered when he’d accepted all this. He sighed and pulled out his laptop, deciding it must have been long before he’d even been an employee here.

He’d probably accepted when he was twelve years old that nothing he dreamed of was ever going to come true, and so he’d done what everyone else did: he’d finished school and gotten an entry-level job in a company with health benefits and just passively accepted that he was going to live out the rest of his life in airports, or in other office buildings, or doing paperwork, or all three in some ratio or another.

Now he was living, as some would call it, affluently. He still sent money back home to his mother. Now that she had her new boyfriend, she’d told him he really didn’t have to, but he sent it anyway, telling her to put it in a fund for his sister.

As Sidney’s computer finally finished booting up, he smiled down at the only picture in his office: he and his mother smiled up at him from his computer screen as they hugged his sister on the day she’d graduated high school.

Sidney hesitated, staring at the photo for a moment before opening his e-mails. He really should bring the framed version he had of that picture to his office and actually put it on his desk. He may not get to see it a lot, since he travelled so much, but it may actually make his office feel more like something he could call his. If only he could remember where he’d put the box of family pictures. Maybe it was in the closet...

He frowned, thinking about when he’d moved into that apartment five years ago...so many of his things had just been shoved into the closet, or into the cabinets. He’d been there for nearly a year before he’d fully unpacked his microwave, and even then, he’d only done that so Jessica (who had been spending a lot of time there) could be more comfortable.

Jessica. God, they’d had lots of fun that first year. They had still been in lust with each other, their relationship had been new, and they were both still being cautious around and curious about the other, wondering whether or not this new relationship could grow into something long-term. They still cuddled on the couch to watch movies (usually something Jessica had chosen) and they still kissed each other goodnight every night and good morning every morning.

Jessica moved in that second year. She used to leave for work early so she could get a latté before work, and right before their second anniversary, Sidney had bought her an espresso/coffee maker with a milk steamer so she could do it at home. He still had it. But she didn’t even use it once.

Sidney frowned down at his keyboard, remembering her comment about how she wanted someone else to make the latté for her, because it made her feel special. On the morning after their second anniversary, when Sidney had woken up early to bring her a latté in bed, she’d smiled at him...that same sweet smile that had first attracted him to her. From then on, he brought her one in bed every morning, but after a while, her sweet smile became harder and harder to bring out.

Sure, the new diamond necklace he’d given her made her smile like that. The new earrings he’d gotten her for Christmas. And she’d said the new dress he’d bought for her before the last company gala made her feel like a princess. But after a while, it seemed that only expensive gifts would make her smile like that. None of the little things Sidney did around the house made her smile like that.

She hardly ever smiled and complimented Sidney’s cooking. She even started expecting him to do all the dishes and the laundry, and when he didn’t, she’d get mad at him for it. When he called her out on it, she would say she was only teasing and tell him he needed to learn to take a joke.

He doesn’t remember when that started, but he does remember when her kisses turned cold. They’d been together for about four years, her good morning kiss didn’t feel the same, and she’d come to the breakfast table with a frown on her face...

Sidney shook his head and tried to refocus on the e-mail he needed to respond to. When he’d finally gotten through it, he opened the next e-mail. It was from the company CEO, informing all of the employees who would be attending the ten-years-of-service ceremony that it would be held the following night at 6 PM...

_God_...Sidney thought. Had it really been ten years since he started at this company? It really felt like a lifetime ago. When he started at this company, he’d been anything but a bright-eyed 18 year old...more like a burnt-out and spiteful 18 year old with something to prove. Spite and determination were probably the only things that had pushed him up the company ladder through the years, and into his shiny new office.

But—Sidney wondered as he looked around at all of the polished glass surfaces in his office...all either transparent or translucent—had he really gotten anywhere at all?

Sidney suddenly jumped, startled by his phone vibrating very loudly against the glass top of his desk. His heart sped up when he saw who was calling and he scrambled to answer the phone.

“Hi, Zhenya!”

“ _Sidney! Hi! I just call so I can, uh...ask if you still come tonight...Всё в силе?_ ”

Geno’s voice sounded a bit strained, like he was afraid Sidney would have changed his mind.

“Of course, Zhenya! I’ll be there. We decided on Six, right?”

“ _Yeah! Six clock!_ ” Zhenya said, and Sidney could hear both the smile and the relief in his voice. “ _I make dinner and then we eat, and then I have to go to interview._ ”

“Ok, sounds like a plan,” Sidney said.

“ _It’s...shouldn’t take long time, interview. Maybe hour, or two? Don’t know, but not very long time. Will be very fast._ ”

“Okay, that’s good to know...” Sidney started to say, before he heard a little delighted sound on the other line. Sidney couldn’t help smiling, thinking about the little smile that must have been on Lyosha’s face as he made it.

“ _Лёш! Знаешь с кем это я щас говорю? Говорю с Sidney! Мы увидим его очень скоро! Он сегодня вечером придёт, мы с ним поужинаем, а потом он присмотрит за тобой, пока папа на интервью!_ ”

Warmth blossomed in Sidney’s chest as he heard Lyosha make another delighted noise.

“ _Лёш, хочешь сказать привет Sidney? Хочешь, да?_ ” Geno laughed a bit. “ _Sidney, I think, Lyosha want say hi..._ ”

Sidney heard a sound like the phone was being moved, then he suddenly heard a soft breath and a little happy sound.

Sidney’s heart flooded with joy and he couldn’t stop himself from blurting out, “Hi, Lyosha!”

Sidney was rewarded with another delighted sound and a little giggle. Then he heard a sound like Lyosha was touching the phone. Sidney suddenly had a feeling Lyosha would try to put the phone in his mouth, and when he heard Geno speak again, he knew his feeling had probably been right.

“ _Не-не, Лёш...сынок...это не еда..._ ”

Sidney couldn’t help laughing softly as he heard what must have been Geno wiping baby drool off of his phone. Geno laughed a bit as he put the phone back to his ear.

_“Sorry...That’s Lyosha...lots drool..._ ” He laughed a little more. “ _Okay...I give him something better play with..._ ”

Then Sidney heard a little noise that sounded like Geno jingling Lyosha’s keys, and the delighted giggle afterwards seemed to confirm that for him.

After a moment, Geno spoke again.

“... _Sorry, Sidney, I’m probably...bother you at work..._ ”

“No, it’s fine really!”  _Thank you for saving me from my depressing thoughts_ , Sidney didn’t say. “I needed a distraction from these emails anyway,” he said instead.

“ _You still have lots emails?_ ”

Sidney laughed. “Zhenya, I get hundreds of emails every day. At this rate, I’ll probably have thousands of emails until the day I die.”

“ _Thousands!_ ” Geno said, sounding incredulous. “ _How you do it?_ ”

“I...don’t know. I manage. I guess the promise of money so I can keep my apartment is a good motivator.”

Geno made an agreeing noise on the other line, then he paused, like he was thinking.

“ _Okay, Sidney, I stop bother you? So you can come in six, and then I can bother you more?_ ” Sidney could hear the grin in his voice.

“Okay, Zhenya, I’ll see you at Six,” Sidney laughed.

“ _Okay, Sidney..._ ” Geno’s voice sounded soft and fond...maybe Lyosha was doing something cute.

“Bye, Zhenya,” Sidney said.

“ _Bye, Sidney_ ,” Geno replied. “ _See you very soon._ ”

Sidney suddenly felt very strange as he hung up the phone. He just felt...happy. For the first time in a long time, he just felt genuinely...happy. Sidney had accepted a long time ago that he could never have what he wanted, but meeting Geno and Lyosha had somehow made him question his confidence in that statement.

Of course, he was a little worried that he was reading too far into all of this, but...that couldn’t dull the fact that he was genuinely happy at the prospect of getting to see Lyosha that night...or the fact that he was just a tad nervous—in a good way—about getting to see Geno.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sidney made a huge dent in his emails and even finalised his scheduling for the following month, but he still found himself glancing at his little glass clock a lot over the course of the rest of the day, and every time, he was disappointed to find that only a short time had passed. It almost felt like the day would never end.

Maybe he was being ridiculous. After all, he was just going to go over to babysit. Well, and have some dinner. So why did it feel so much more...important than that? Maybe it was only because, for some unknown reason, he already cared so deeply for these two people. He didn’t usually get so attached to people this quickly; at least, not since Jessica. But Lyosha and Geno had broken through every single one of his barriers, as easily as if they were all made of cardboard, and it had taken him completely off guard.

Sidney sighed as he looked at his clock again for what seemed like the eight-hundredth time. He knew that he couldn’t assume Geno felt as strongly about this situation as he did. Sure, Geno was a nice man, and very communicative—he had called Sidney twice already—but Sidney had never been to Russia, and he didn’t understand much more than what he’d learned about it in school. Maybe Russians just called their friends a lot...and invited them over for dinner often...But, one thing was bothering Sidney: if Geno were just treating Sidney like a friend...why had he gone along with Christie and Agatha’s story when they had assumed he and Sidney were married?

Sidney had heard that, on average, Russians didn’t think very highly of “non-traditional relationships”. Of course, there were always exceptions, but...Geno had presumably been happily married to a woman with whom he’d had a beautiful baby boy. Wouldn’t it be unlikely for him to just...allow others to think he was gay?

Was he just a very open-minded Russian? Or was it all just wishful thinking on Sidney’s part? Had that just been...like a joke to Geno? Something minor to endure so he didn’t upset the old women, all with the added benefit of getting to sit next to his new friend on the plane? But what about the back pocket thing? Was that just to further the façade...?

A sudden thought in his mother’s voice made him stop and smile.

_You’re thinking too much again, Sidney. Why don’t you relax and let yourself enjoy this?_

She was right, of course. She had said something like that to him a long time ago. He hadn’t thought about it in years.

After his dad died, he hadn’t smiled or gone out in days, and he was tired of all the sympathy cards, the calls with condolences coming from family members he barely knew...he was tired of his friends walking on eggshells around him, not knowing what to do or say. He missed his dad. He missed “normal”.

One day, his mother had come to his room and leaned on the doorframe.

“ _Sidney? Something came for you,_ ” she’d said quietly.

Sidney hadn’t said anything, just made a non-committal noise and continued staring at the book he was pretending to read.

She’d come into his room with a long package in her hands, and sat next to him on his bed.

“ _Don’t you want to know what it is?_ ”

Sidney had closed his book and set it down, finally looking at the brown box in his mother’s hands. It was long enough to be...but no, how could it be?

“ _Want help opening it?_ ”

Sidney had shaken his head and gingerly taken the package from her. It had been fairly light, and the tape on the cheap cardboard had easily torn under his unsteady fingers. When he’d gotten the box open and had seen what was inside, he stared for a moment, his eyes wide.

“ _Mom..._ ” he’d said in a shaky voice. “ _How...how did you afford—_ “

“ _I had a little help,_ ” she’d said simply. “ _Do you like it?_ ”

Sidney had picked up the shiny new hockey stick and just held it. It had felt so good in his hands. He’d stared at it for a moment, looking at the designs on the shaft and the curve of the blade—it hadn’t been just any old cheap stick. It was just like the one Steve Yzerman had, only smaller—and then without any warning at all, he’d dropped his arms and started to sob.

His mother had gently and calmly held him to her chest, stroking his hair and whispering to him, telling him it was okay to cry. That it was good to let himself feel.

Sidney loved that stick, and he practiced with it every day, but he barely had time to use it. He was always at school, or working, or taking care of his little sister. He thought about it at length, and one night, a few days after his fourteenth birthday, after his mother had come home exhausted from her second job, he’d sat next to her on the couch and rested his head on her shoulder.

“ _Mom, I made your favourite for dinner,_ ” he’d said at first, not wanting to rush into it. But she somehow always knew when something else was on his mind.

“ _Thank you, sweetheart,_ ” she’d said, kissing his forehead and putting her arms around him. “ _Now...what’s bothering you?_ ”

Sidney had felt caught somehow. He buried his nose into her shoulder and took a deep breath before looking up at her.

“ _Um...I know...about the electric bill, mom. The...notice that said it was going up fell out of the trash..._ ”

A pained look had momentarily flashed over her face, but it was gone as quick at it had come.

“ _Don’t worry, baby. We’ll manage. We’ll just keep all the lights off in the daytime, and we have lots of candles for night time,_ ” she’d said, and she’d smiled at him and ruffled his hair, but he could see her faltering conviction in her tired eyes.

“ _Um...I was thinking..._ ” Sidney had said quietly, trying to swallow back the lump in his throat. “ _Maybe...maybe we should..._ ” he sniffed. “ _Sell my hockey stick. You know, so that—_ ”

“ _Sidney,_ ” his mother had said quietly. She’d had her eyes closed, and it hadn’t taken Sidney long to realise she’d done it to hold back the tears in her eyes. “ _You’re thinking too much again, sweetie,_ ” she’d said gently, her voice only wavering slightly. “ _Why don’t you relax and let yourself enjoy what you have? I don’t want you to have to give anything up. We can think of another way._ ”

He hadn’t argued with her then. He knew he would never win an argument against the strongest person he knew.

Looking back on it, she seemed to be the only one who never gave up on his dreams, even when he obviously had.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Five o’clock finally chimed on his glass clock, and Sidney added the final touches to his e-mail reply and sent it. He updated his time sheet and walked out the glass door, headed back towards the elevators.

It didn’t really hit him until he’d gotten into his car just how fast his heart was pounding. He was so excited to see Zhenya and Lyosh! But...if he went straight over to Geno’s now, he would probably get there too early. Should he run home to change? But wait...it was rush-hour! Would he have time? Sidney took a deep breath and turned on his car. He was just going to head over there, and if he was early, he was early.

He was glad he’d had an early start as he merged into the rush-hour traffic on the 138, but even as he neared La Salle, he worried that he was still going to be a little early. Would that be alright? He’d heard the stereotypes that Russians were always late...so would he expect Sidney to be late, too? Would he expect Sidney to bring a gift?

Sidney shook his head. What was he doing, thinking about stereotypes? He decided to just try to be on time, and if he was too early for his own liking, he could stop and buy Geno something at a corner store.

He did end up being to early for his own liking, so he stopped at a Metro Grocery and walked inside. What should he bring? Flowers? A dessert? Wine wouldn’t be appropriate, because Geno had to leave after dinner, and he would presumably be driving the rental car to his interview. Sid settled on some croissants, remembering something Geno had said on the plane about liking the ones they served for the in-flight breakfast. Besides, these croissants would be better, and even if they didn’t fit with dinner, Geno could eat them for breakfast the next day.

As Sid set the bag down in his car and pulled up the GPS on his phone again, he wondered if he really was overthinking this. He tended to overthink things when he was anxious...and if he was anxious, it surely meant that whatever it was, was extremely important to him.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

When Sidney finally found the apartment building, he was almost surprised at how fancy it was. Of course, he had understood at a basic level that anyone who could afford to move to a different country and rent an apartment and a car there right off the bat had to be someone with money. He just hadn’t thought Geno would be this loaded.

Sidney greeted the doorman and told him who he was there to see, and the doorman nodded and waved him into the building, directing him to go up either the lifts or the stairs to the 4th floor.

Once inside the lift, Sidney clutched the bag of croissants tightly so they wouldn’t slip from his sweaty hands. He suddenly felt self-conscious about his appearance...he knew he was in a suit, but...did he look okay? He tried to fix his hair a little in the fisheye-type mirror on the ceiling of the elevator, but he was sure it didn’t make one bit of a difference.

Sidney walked down the carpeted hall towards apartment number 471. His heart felt like it was trying to decide whether to beat too fast or skip a few beats, but he held it together as he reached the door. He shuffled the bag of croissants to his left hand before he reached up and knocked on the door.

As Geno opened the door, Sidney was surprised to see that Geno looked...very nice. He was wearing two parts of a grey three piece suit—more specifically, the trousers and waistcoat—the sleeves of his white dress shirt were rolled up to the elbow, his dark hair was nicely slicked back, and he smelled amazing...he was wearing something sweet and spicy.

Sidney swallowed hard, feeling a little light-headed. It had been a long time since he’d had such a strong reaction to another man. Sidney only wondered for half a moment if Geno had dressed that way to impress him before he mentally kicked himself for his egoism. Geno had an interview that night, of course he hadn’t dressed like that for Sidney...but who dressed  _that_  fancy for an interview?

Geno’s face lit up into a big smile when he saw who was behind the door.

“Sidney! Hi! Please, come in!” Geno said, stepping aside and gesturing for Sid to walk past him, completely unaware of Sidney’s personal mini-crisis.

“Hi, Zhenya,” Sidney said, walking into the apartment and looking around.

The front door opened right into the sitting room, which was a bit sparsely decorated, but if Sidney hadn’t flown in with Geno, be probably would never have guessed that it was only Geno’s first day living there. The sitting room was on one of those “open” formats, with only a bar separating it from the kitchen, and the far right wall was made up of floor-to-ceiling sliding glass doors that opened out onto a verandah. There was a long, comfy-looking couch with some throw pillows across from the door, and a few small picture frames sat under the modern-looking lamps on the side tables at either end of it. There was one larger picture frame next to a book about Montréal on the coffee table. Sidney didn’t really have much time to take it all in before Geno spoke, catching his attention.

“How are you, Sidney? Tired from work?” Geno asked, wordlessly offering to take Sidney’s jacket.

At first, Sid was tempted to say no, that everything was fine, but he just couldn’t bring himself to lie.

“Uh, yeah, I am pretty tired...” he admitted.

Sid shuffled the bag of croissants from one hand to the other as he took off his jacket and handed it to Geno, muttering a quiet ‘thanks’.

“I only got a few hours of sleep, and all I did today for eight hours straight was work on answering emails,” Sidney finished, unable to keep the bitterness from seeping into his voice.

“ _Ёли-палки_ , eight hours and only emails!?” Geno asked incredulously, glancing over his shoulder as he hung Sidney’s jacket up on the coat rack near the door.

Sidney nodded, absent-mindedly rubbing his sore neck. “Yup. Well, I did some scheduling, too, but all the information for that came from the e-mails...”

“You...have energy for babysit Lyosha? Or you need go home and rest?” Geno asked as he walked back over to Sidney. Sidney looked up at his face and was surprised to see that Geno seemed genuinely concerned about his health, rather than about potentially losing his babysitter for the night.

“No, it’s okay, Zhenya, I’ve been looking forward to seeing you two all day,” Sidney blurted out. He immediately felt his ears start to burn. Was it too early to say things like that? He’d only known them for almost two days...

“Oh?” Geno asked, a little smile turning up the corner of his mouth.

Sidney just nodded, then held out of the bag of croissants, hopeful that his attempt to change the subject would be successful. “Oh, uh...I brought these for you. They’re croissants. You...said you liked them on the plane, so...Maybe you can have these for breakfast tomorrow? Or...or maybe tonight? If you want...”

Geno smiled warmly and stepped closer to Sidney, taking the bag and looking inside. “Croissants! Thank you, Sidney!  _Ну, как ты заботлив._..”

Geno smelled the croissants with a smile and then closed the bag back up. “ _Нет, надо ждать_...” he muttered. “Wait, please, one second, I put them in kitchen, and then show you apartment, ok?”

Sidney just nodded and smiled, looking around the apartment and trying not to think about how nervous he suddenly felt. He slowly walked over to get a closer look at the picture frames on the side tables. Sidney shook off a passing thought about how Geno already had family pictures up in his apartment, and he had only been there for one night.

On the left side-table, there was a photo of an older man, Geno, and a man of about Geno’s age, all holding up strings of fish they had caught on a summer fishing trip...Sid guessed maybe it was Geno with his father and brother. He remembered Geno mentioning them once on the plane.

The next small picture frame held a yellowed picture of a woman and a young boy who bore a striking resemblance to Geno. Sid found himself smiling. It was probably a photo of Geno and his mother when Geno was young. It was uncanny just how much Lyosha looked like him...those ears were exactly the same.

Sid glanced over at the larger frame on the coffee table and stepped over to have a better look at it. There was an older woman in the photo who looked a lot like the woman in the photo of young Geno, and next to her, there was a stunningly beautiful younger woman with dark hair and green eyes. They were hugging and smiling at the camera like they had been laughing about something. Sidney leaned in to get a closer view of those green eyes...Lyosha’s had the exact same shape and glint to them, the only difference was that his were brown.

“This picture,” Geno’s voice came from behind Sidney, startling him a bit and making him look back at Geno. “It’s...my mama and Alina...my wife.”

Geno was standing there with Lyosha and his baby bag, a strange look on his face.

“She was...beautiful,” was all Sidney could think to say.

Geno smiled a sad smile and nodded. “Mhmm...yeah. Was.”

Geno cleared his throat and gestured towards the hallway.

“Okay, you want see apartment, right?” Geno asked.

Sid straightened up and nodded. “Yeah, I do.”

“Okay, I give you tour,” Geno said, absently patting Lyosha’s back. “Some food still in oven, so we have to wait before we can eat, ok?”

“That’s alright,” Sidney said walking up and smoothing Lyosha’s hair. “ _Privet_ , Lyosha!”

Lyosha made a happy sound and reached out to Sidney, his little brown eyes sparkling. Sidney smiled widely and let Lyosha grab his finger. Geno smiled warmly at the both of them.

“You want hold him?” Geno asked knowingly.

“Yeah,” Sidney said as he reached out, unable to hide his enthusiasm. God, this is what he’d been waiting for all day!

Geno chuckled as he passed Lyosha off to Sidney. When Lyosha rested his little head onto Sidney’s shoulder, a wide smile spread over Sidney’s face and a warmth spread through his chest. This is what he needed...he didn’t notice Geno looking at the two of them with a funny look on his face.

“Hey, Lyosh...” Sidney cooed, bouncing on the balls of his feet. Lyosha made a happy sound and immediately grabbed a part of Sidney’s collar and tried to put it in his mouth.

“Oy, sorry...I don’t...feed him since a few hours,” Geno said, helping extract Sidney’s collar from Lyosha’s mouth. “Here, one second, I get his bottle...”

Geno set the baby bag down on the back of the couch and dug for the bottle while Sidney swayed with Lyosha on his shoulder. Lyosha held eye contact with Sidney as he chewed on his own fingers, making little happy noises.

“What are you doing, Lyosh?” Sidney asked Lyosha in a sing-song voice, who smiled and giggled when he heard his own name. “ _Shto ti delayesh?_ ”

Lyosha giggled again and patted his little hand on Sidney’s collar, then made a little happy noise before giggling again and grabbing Sidney’s collar, trying to put it back in his mouth.

“ _А-а-а! Лёша...ну, выплюни это, фу гадость..._ ” Geno chided gently, taking Sidney’s collar out of Lyosha’s mouth and extracting it from his little grasp. “ _Вот бутылочка тебе...Во-от..._ ” he said, letting Lyosha grab onto the bottle and put the nipple in his mouth before handing the bottle to Sidney.

Sidney slowed his swaying and looked down fondly at Lyosha, who seemed to be smiling at him with his eyes as he suckled at the bottle. When Sidney smiled back at Lyosha, Geno’s heart did...something. He wasn’t sure just what it was, but he didn’t have the time to give it much thought.

He cleared his throat.

“Ah, so...I should...show you apartment! Important know where is bathroom, I think...” Geno said, looking down at the floor to avoid thinking about how confused he was.

“Right,” Sidney said absently, smiling down at Lyosha as he followed Geno. He glanced up every once in a while to make sure he was following Geno down the hallway and not into a wall.

“Here’s bedroom!” Geno said, walking into the first room on the right and turning on the light.

Sid looked up as he followed him in, suddenly in awe of the view of the Montréal skyline outside the floor-to-ceiling windows. Across from the windows, there was a plush, kingsized bed with lamps hanging on the wall on either side of it. To the right of the door, there was a floor-to-ceiling bookshelf that was mostly bare, but that was one of the only indications that Geno hadn’t lived here for more than a day.

Sid was still taking in the room when he realised he hadn’t even taken three steps inside, and that Geno had already walked over to the left and was waiting patiently to show him the bathroom.

Sid attempted to contain his awe and walked further into the room, past the bed and over to the bathroom.

“Here’s bathroom,” Geno said, flicking on the light and leading Sidney inside. Sid was once again unable to contain his awe, and he let his mouth fall open. This bathroom must have been as big as his own bedroom. There was a big tub in the middle of the room and a two-person walk-in shower in the right corner.

“I keep extra diapers in here...” Geno was saying, shaking Sid out of his stupor. He walked over to where Geno had opened an eye-level cabinet next to the sink. Inside, there were extra linens, towels, toilet paper, and of course, diapers.

“Oh, ok, great,” Sidney said. He wasn’t really sure what to say, and there was a nagging thought in the back of his mind telling him never to invite Geno to his tiny, crummy little apartment.

“I keep Lyosha’s food in kitchen, in refrigerator,” Geno continued, leading Sidney out of the bedroom and back into the hallway. “But everything else in here, his room.”

Geno opened the door across from the one they’d just exited and flipped on the light switch. Sidney followed him into the room. There was a crib right next to the door, and a mobile with plastic cutouts of snowflakes, penguins, and polar bears hanging on it danced above it. When Sid tapped it with a finger, Lyosha made a little happy noise and copied the motion as best he could. Sid laughed and did it again, and Lyosha suddenly understood the game, giggling gleefully and swatting at the mobile, making it really move. Lyosha giggled even harder at the way Sidney’s eyebrows shot up, like he was surprised at Lyosha’s strength. Geno had never seen Lyosha look more pleased with himself than when Sid said, “Whooa, look at you! You got some strong hands there,” and suddenly Geno’s heart was doing that...whatever that  _thing_  it did before was...again. And it felt...almost normal. Almost...perfect.

He could have stood there watching his son and this beautiful Canadian man he’d met on an airplane play with his son’s mobile forever, but suddenly, the timer on the stove went off and everyone looked towards the kitchen.

“It’s dinner...r-ready,” Geno said, exiting the room before he could think too much about what had just happened.

“This is, ah...a really nice apartment,” Sid said as he followed Geno back to the kitchen.

“Thank you,” Geno said with a smile, “But...it’s not...really like home. Not yet.”

Sid furrowed his brows and adjusted Lyosha against his chest. “Why not?”

Geno shrugged a shoulder. “Don’t know, just...I don’t feel...home yet.”

Sid nodded sympathetically. His little apartment didn’t quite feel like home either, not that it ever really had, even when Jessica lived with him. It had always felt like a stepping stone, a stop on the road to better things.

He knew it would take more than one night and one day for Geno to get used to this place...although Sid was sure he’d be able to get used to a place like this in a heartbeat...which probably had everything to do with the people living there now.

“You hungry, Sid?” Geno asked as they walked into the kitchen.

“Starving,” Sid admitted. When he thought about it, he was surprised to remember that he hadn’t eaten since breakfast.

Geno laughed softly. “Good, I make lots of food,” he said, and as he opened the oven, a wonderful smell permeated the kitchen.

“Hope you like  _голубцы_...”

Sid furrowed his brows. “Uhh, never heard of it, but...it smells amazing. I’m definitely willing to try it.”

Geno laughed as he pulled a casserole dish out of the oven.

“Oh, good, I’m make you try all...types Russian food when you...babysitter again.”

Sidney tried to ignore what Geno implied...but the implication that he was already thinking this would be a regular thing had an involuntary smile spreading itself over Sidney’s face, and it took a lot more work than he was expecting to tone it back down again.

“I...I wouldn’t mind that,” he said.

Dinner ended up being a light fish soup, stuffed cabbage leaves, white bread, and a delicious purple salad called “vinaigrette”, and Sidney definitely enjoyed it as much as he thought he would. He felt like they had only been talking for moments before Geno’s alarm on his phone went off, indicating that it was time to go to his interview. After Geno had said goodbye to Sid and Lyosha, Sid found himself standing by the door...actually feeling a little disappointed. He shook his head and walked away from the door, gently sitting down on the couch, trying not to disturb the sleepy Lyosha lying on his shoulder.

Sid knew he was Lyosha’s babysitter, and he knew that meant that he would be watching Lyosha when Geno wasn’t there. He knew that Geno had an interview that night. So why was he feeling so disappointed? Like he hadn’t gotten to spend enough time with Geno? He gently smoothed down Lyosha’s hair, unconsciously humming a tune.

He supposed he was just lonely. He had figured out recently that there were different kinds of lonely. There was the need for social interaction that spending time with Lyosha was fixing...and then there was the other kind of lonely. The most selfish kind of lonely. The one than left him wanting—aching for—a specific kind of physical contact. The one that seemed to get more sharp and pronounced every time Geno so much as looked at him.

His wandering gaze suddenly fell to the picture on the coffee table. He looked at those sparkling green eyes and and an icy needle dug itself into his heart as an extremely sad thought occurred to him. At least Lyosha was too young to remember his mother. Sid hadn’t been so lucky with his father, and he had no idea how truly hard his father’s death had been on his mother. He could only imagine how lonely Geno must feel.

Lyosha suddenly stirred and fussed a little. Sidney softly shushed him and continued to hum to him in a low, soothing voice as he patted his back. Lyosha calmed almost immediately, and even Sidney was surprised as he readjusted him onto his chest. Lyosha closed his eyes and stuck his thumb in his mouth, sighing.

Sidney sighed too and settled more deeply into the couch, still humming to Lyosha. It wasn’t any tune in particular, just whatever came to his head at the moment, but Lyosha didn’t seem to mind. Sid smiled down at him, feeling a bit bittersweet.

Geno and Lyosha had already helped him so much. They had given him something to look forward to...for a plane ride at least, they had given him a sense of family...of belonging and connection. He just hoped he was doing the same for them.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was jolted out of his sleep when he heard the lock turn and the door swing open. It took him a moment to remember where he was, but when the weight on his chest stirred and made a little fussy noise, he remembered with a smile that he was still at Geno’s apartment. The sun had set by then, and in the dim light of the lamp on the table next to him, Sid could just make out Geno’s outline where was standing by the door.

Geno stared at Sidney and his son on the couch. His heart was being bombarded with emotions. He was warm all over, he suddenly couldn’t move or speak, and one thought was playing over and over again in his mind.  _Правильно. Это правильно. This is right._

“Hey,” Sid said groggily. “Sorry, I...fell asleep.”

“S’okay...” Geno said, and even though Sid couldn’t quite make out Geno’s face in the dim lighting, he could hear the smile in his voice. “I’m know you need. Sorry for wake you up.”

“It’s alright,” Sid said, arching his back for a moment and stretching his legs out in front of him. He checked his watch. It was 8:47. “I guess I was out for a while...”

Geno hesitated for a second, then sat down next to Sidney on the couch.

“You fall asleep when I leave?”

Sidney nodded. “Yeah, probably.” He sighed, knowing he should probably get up and leave soon, but...he felt so warm and content, and now that Geno was sitting next to him, all he wanted to do was cuddle up with him and Lyosha and go back to sleep. Wishful thinking.

“...It’s late. We should probably change Lyosha and put him to bed,” Sidney said, standing up.

Geno made a noise of acknowledgement and stood with him, and they both headed towards the bathroom.

Once they’d gotten Lyosha into a fresh diaper, they took him into his room, and Sidney hummed absentmindedly as he laid Lyosha down into his crib. He almost bumped into Geno as he straightened up, not noticing he was behind him. Sid’s face was burning, and they both muttered their apologies as Geno stepped around Sid and picked up a stuffed bear off the dresser.

“ _Вот Мишка твоя_ ,” Geno said softly, tucking it in next to Lyosha with such great care, that it filled Sidney’s heart with warmth. Geno then leaned down and kissed his son on the forehead.

Sidney stepped back and watched them, suddenly painfully aware of the fact that he was just the babysitter. No more or less. He looked down. Maybe...he could live with that.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

When Lyosha was asleep, they left the room, shutting the door quietly so that they wouldn’t wake him.

“Thank you for come babysit, Sidney,” Geno said softly as they reached the front door.

“Of course, it was my pleasure!” Sidney said. “Anytime you need me to come babysit, you can call me. If I’m in town, I’ll be there.”

Geno smiled at him and thanked him again. Geno paused for a moment, looking at Sidney and smiling. He almost looked like he wanted to say something else, but Sidney was sure he’d imagined it, since the moment was gone as quickly as it had come, and Geno made an ‘ah!’ sound and dug around in his pocket.

“Thank you again, Sidney,” Geno said, handing him a few bills. Sidney didn’t even look at them as he stuck them in his pocket. He didn’t really care how much it was...he wouldn’t even have taken them if Geno hadn’t already insisted at the dinner table that he was going to pay him for his efforts. It hadn’t looked like an argument he was going to win.

“I for sure call you again soon, Sid,” Geno said, taking Sidney’s coat off the rack and holding it up for him.

“Great,” Sidney said. “I, uh...look forward to it!”

Geno seemed to be hesitating as he helped Sidney with his coat. He moved slowly, as if something was on his mind, but if there was, he wasn’t talking about it, and Sidney wasn't sure if it was his place to ask. He stood back as Sidney buttoned up his coat. Sidney busied himself with smoothing it down, knowing he shouldn’t bide his time like this, but he just...didn’t want to leave. This place had already begun to feel more like home than his crummy little apartment.

He looked up and started to say something, but he and Geno spoke at the same time.

“Well—“  
“Sidney...”

Geno chuckled. “You first.”

“Oh, no, it’s ok, what were you going to say?” Sidney asked.

“Oh,” Geno looked almost bashful. “I...just going to say...goodbye...”

Sidney laughed softly. “Me too,” he lied.

“Ok,” Geno said, a soft smile on his face. “Goodbye, Sid.”

Sidney was surprised when Geno stepped a bit closer and hugged him.

“Thank you again.”

Sidney hugged back as tightly as he thought might be socially acceptable.

“It really was my pleasure, Zhenya,” Sidney said.

When Geno heard his nickname, he seemed to squeeze a bit harder for just a moment before pulling away, smiling.

Sidney’s heart was racing. He really wished Geno would do that more often. Sid said a soft ‘bye’ before he opened the door.

“See you soon, Sid?” Geno called out as Sidney stepped into the hallway, a note of hopefulness in his voice.

“See you soon, Zhenya,” Sidney said, sending Geno a smile over his shoulder. He saw Geno smile back before he turned to walk down the hallway and heard the gentle click of the door behind him.

When he was alone in the elevator, he decided to put the money he’d earned that night into his wallet. He pulled the bills out of his pocket to look at them and almost dropped them when he realised that Geno had given him two $100 bills.

He almost wanted to go back upstairs and return them—at least one of them, if Geno would take it—but suddenly the door opened and he was on the first floor. He hesitated before walking out of the elevator. Maybe he’d try giving them back later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys! I'm sorry it's been so long since my last update! My computer decided to break on me, so I've been ficcing on my phone for a while until I could afford a new one. I tried posting from my phone a few times, but it's super difficult to format on the mobile site. I hope the long chapter was worth the wait!  
> I am still working on my other fics as well, and hopefully there will be an update on my other one within the next few weeks) Hopefully, I can get the next part of this one out by the end of the year, but with work, I don't know)  
> Also, just a note: please please please feel free to correct my French if you find a mistake! I'm a language nerd who's always up for learning something new!
> 
> Thanks for your awesome comments and encouragement! And thanks for reading!  
> -M


	3. Missing you...

Sidney sighed into his morning coffee as he took a sip. When the elevator dinged and the doors opened onto his floor, he walked over to his office, balancing his coffee and his briefcase in one hand so he could use the other to unlock his office door. He walked in and sat down behind his big glass desk, a bit surprised at just how calm he still felt that morning. Usually, there was a sense of urgency driving him forward, a sense that everything would leave him behind if he didn’t hurry or pay attention to every single little detail, but this morning, he felt calm and collected. He wasn’t sure how long it would last, but he was certainly grateful for it.

He took another sip of his coffee, thinking back to last night. He had left Geno’s apartment feeling that same sort of calmness, like he had all the time in the world to do whatever he needed, and when he had gotten back to his apartment, he’d stood in the hallway for a full minute, trying to decide what to do. Usually, he would have come home from work, made some Kraft dinner or a sandwich, eaten, brushed his teeth, read one of his favourite nonfiction books or watched a documentary, and gone to sleep. But that night, his entire routine had been uprooted, and for once, he wasn’t at all anxious about it. In fact, he’d had energy…so much of it that he wasn’t sure what to do with it all. Maybe it was the nap he’d taken at Geno’s house, but whatever the case, he’d come home feeling revitalised, so he put his things down on the couch and headed straight for the boxes in his closet.

Now, in his office, he opened his briefcase and took out his computer, setting it on the desk and turning it on. Normally, he would have gotten straight to work, but today, he hesitated, reaching into the pocket on the front of his briefcase and pulling out a picture frame. He smiled down at it before looking around, finally deciding to put it on the left side of his desk just under his lamp. He looked at it for a moment before adjusting it a few centimeters, so that there wasn’t a glare from the lamp covering his mother’s face. It wasn’t a drastic change, but his family picture from his sister’s graduation really did brighten up his desk. He smiled at it again before turning to his computer and getting started on his work.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid wasn’t sure how long he’d been working before his phone started loudly vibrating against the glass top of his desk, startling him. He shook it off and finished typing his sentence before picking up the phone, a smile spreading over his face when he realised who it was.

“Hi, Zhenya,” he answered.

“ _Hi, Sid!_ ” Geno replied. “ _How are you?_ ”

“I’m...doing pretty good,” Sidney said cheerfully, happy that, for once, it wasn’t a lie.

“ _Oh, good!_ ” Geno said, a smile in his voice. “ _So you drive home safe last night?_ ”

“Yeah, I did,” Sidney said, and was about to say something else until Geno spoke again.

“ _I’m...want call you last night, but I’m know, you...probably tired, so I’m not call._ ”

Sidney opened his mouth, but made no sound. He’d wanted to call Geno last night, too, but he didn’t think it would have been appropriate. But...if Geno had wanted to call him, too...what did that mean?

Sid heard Geno turn on the water, and after a pause, Geno continued.

“ _Just...want you know...I’m so glad you help, Sidney—_ “

Geno’s words were cut off by a loud yell from Lyosha.

“ _Я знаю, сыночек, знаю, но ты сам это вызвал на себя. Потерпи ещё немножечко, хорошо? Всё почти прошлось..._ ”

Geno breathed out a laugh, but he sounded a bit frustrated.

“Lyosha...This morning, he...he play with...powder for feet? Get very dirty. I’m...clean him right now, and he—“ another loud yell. Geno laughed again. “He...not happy.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t have left it out where he could reach it,” Sid said with a little chuckle, and he sort of half-heard Geno agree with him, but he was still a bit stuck on what Geno had said before. Geno had wanted to call him last night. Why? To…thank him? But...he’d already said thank you? He’d thanked Sid more than enough, both with words and with money. Why would he need to call?

Sidney shook his head and focused back on the present. “He didn’t eat any of the powder, did he?”

“ _No, don’t think so...he don’t have on his face. All on arms and legs...I think, I find him before he eat it._ ”

“That’s good,” Sidney said, relieved.

“ _I get to him fast, but he already so dirty...I only leave him alone...like one minute! I should know, not do that,_ ” Geno said between Lyosha’s tantrum wails. From the sound, Sidney could imagine how much Lyosha was thrashing. “ _I learn...not do again_.” Geno laughed again, but his voice sounded strained, like he was a bit overwhelmed.

Sidney suddenly understood. Geno didn’t call him to thank him, he called because he needed someone to talk to. Sidney glanced at his clock. It was already two, and he hadn’t even eaten lunch...he hadn’t stopped working since he’d started that morning. He desperately wished he could go spend his lunch hour helping Geno, but with the traffic, Geno lived about 30 minutes away. He knew once he got there, he would have to turn around and come right back.

“ _Эй, сынок, лежи спокойно...it’s...s’very difficult..._ ” Geno said through another forced laugh.

“Hey,” Sidney said softly. “Don’t worry. You’re doing fine. Clean him up, get him warm, give him something to play with, and he’ll probably stop fussing.”

Geno was quiet for a moment, and even though Lyosha was not being quiet, Sid heard the smile in Geno’s voice when he softly said, “ _Thank you, Sid._ ”

Sid hummed in response. After a moment, Sid heard the water shut off, and Lyosha’s wails had quieted somewhat.

“ _Uh, Sid...you have time for come visit tonight? I, um...I’m not have interview, but...maybe you just want...I make you dinner again?_ ”

Sidney’s heart started beating faster for a moment before he remembered what his plans were for that night. Then his heart dropped. He wanted to go see Geno and Lyosha more than anything, but...the ten-years-of-service ceremony...

“I...I’m sorry, Zhenya, I...I really wish I could, but...I have a work function tonight...”

Geno’s little “ _Oh...ok_ ,” tore at Sidney’s heart much more than he would have expected.

“Believe me, I’d much rather come see you and Lyosh,” Sidney said quickly. “I...the work function is for ten years of service...Basically, I worked for this company for ten years, and...they’re celebrating it with a dinner and an awards ceremony...”

“ _Oh, you get award for work there ten years?_ ”

“Well...yeah, I guess?” he said, glancing up at his glass clock. It's not like the awards were anything great. “But it’s...going to be really boring, and...I really wish I didn’t have to go,” he said.

Geno hummed. “ _But...you need? For work?_ ” Geno asked.

“I...yeah,” Sidney said, hanging his head. “I already...said I’d be there.”

 _“I understand. Don’t...say you go and then not go,_ ” Geno said, sounding understanding.

Geno was silent for a second, and Sid was about to apologize, but then Geno spoke again.

“ _When it’s...will be over? I can...call you after? Just...five minutes?_ ”

Sid smiled softly. “Yeah, I’d, uh...I’d like that…Uh, it’ll be late, though…It gets over at 10:30, and I probably won't be home until 11.”

“ _No, it’s not too late, Sidney! I call, ok?_ ” Geno said, a smile in his voice again.“ _Just tell me when you home?_ ”

“Great, I will. I look forward to it,” Sidney said. They said their goodbyes, and Sidney smiled as he hung up the phone. It had been so long since he’d had a friend who called him this often. He talked to Flower a lot, of course, but even then, that was only once a week at the pickup games. He used to talk a lot with Colby, too, but since he moved away, they only ever seemed to talk if Sid called first.

With Geno, it felt…different. Geno always seemed to call first, and he always seemed to want to talk to Sidney…he always seemed to be interested in what was going on with him. Sidney wasn’t sure how to react to all that. All he knew was, it made him feel interesting and…like he mattered to someone. Maybe that was part of why he liked Geno so much.

A sudden prickly thought in the back of his head told him not to read too far into it. Of _course_ Geno called him a lot. He’d just moved to an entirely new country, and Sid was the only person he knew there. He wasn’t calling because Sid was particularly interesting, he was calling because he had no one else to call.

Whatever the case, it still felt nice to be able to support Geno and Lyosha, and Sid at least felt like, no matter what, he was still Geno’s friend. Sid huffed out a breath and got back to work, wishing he didn’t have to waste 3 hours of his life at some patronising awards ceremony later.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sidney sighed and leaned up against his front door after he’d gotten it closed. He still couldn’t believe how stupid that ceremony had been, and it was 2 hours and 55 minutes of his life that he’d never get back.

At least the free dinner had tasted good...but Sid couldn’t help thinking that dinner with Geno and Lyosha would have been 1000 times better.

After gathering enough energy, Sidney finally stood up straight and walked away from the door, scoffing as he put down the box with his award in it.

He wondered if he should just call Geno? But...Geno’s the one who said he wanted to call...

 _Hey,_ he texted Geno. _I’m home. You can call._

Sidney was surprised by Geno’s nearly instant response, fumbling with his phone as it started vibrating in his hands.

“Hi,” Sidney answered, unable to stop smiling.

“ _Hi,_ ” said Geno. His voice sounded a bit rough, like he was tired and had been waiting by the phone for Sidney’s text, but there was still a smile in his voice. “ _How are you? How was award dinner?_ ”

Sidney scoffed. “It was...a joke. It was awful,” he said.

“ _Oh?_ ” Geno asked, sounding amused. “ _How? Tell me!_ ”

Sidney stopped to think for a moment. “Where do I even start?” He laughed. “Uhh...well, I guess the worst thing was this...stupid name tag game we had to play at the beginning,” he started, regaling the story of how his employers thought it would be a great idea to pair everyone in the room with another person by clues on their name tags. Sidney’s had the word ‘Arrow’ written on it, and it took him forever to figure out that he was supposed to find a fellow employee with the word ‘quiver’ written on her name tag. Somehow, _miraculously_ , all of the married couples had been paired together, and the single people had been paired randomly…the whole thing had taken about an hour, and it had been a ridiculous waste of time in Sidney’s opinion.

“I know it probably done for people from different departments to meet each other, but with the married couples getting paired...it just felt like a really bad dating game that...never ended,” Sidney complained. “It was the worst.”

“ _Надо же...you have crazy workplace_ ,” Geno laughed.

“I do,” Sidney laughed, too. “But that’s not even the worst part.”

“ _No?_ ” Geno said, sounding incredulous. “ _More crazy?_ ”

Sidney laughed again. “Oh yeah. Do you want to know what they gave me as an award?”

“ _What?_ ”

“An hourglass. A 90 minute hourglass,” Sidney said, glancing at the box he’d put on his clouch. “I mean...it’s a beautiful hourglass, but...I got a clock for the five years award, and now _this_...I...it just feels like they’re trying to tell me that my time with the company is almost up.”

Geno took a second to process Sidney’s words and then scoffed. “ _Ой, it’s…rude!_ _Why they would do that?_ ”

Sidney had to laugh. “I...don’t know. I don’t know what goes through these people’s heads. These are people who thought a stupid name tag game would be fun.”

Geno laughed, too, making Sidney laugh more.

“I don’t even...know why I work there anymore,” Sidney said suddenly, as their laughter was fading.

Geno was quiet for a moment.

“ _Why…you don’t just…leave?_ ”

Sidney sat down on the couch. “I…I don’t know,” he said. “It’s…it’s all I’ve known for…ten years. I…they…they tell me I’m _good_ at what I do…”

“… _And then they try...matchmake you and give you…sandgla—uh...hourglass thing?_ ” Geno asked, scoffing. “ _Is like they…play with you, Sidney_.”

Sid shook his head. “Well…Well, yeah…That’s…”

Sid heard Lyosha starting to fuss through the phone. Lyosha sounded like he was in another room, and when Sid heard Geno get up and the sound of a door a little later, he could imagine Geno in Lyosha’s room, leaning over the crib to pick him up.

“ _Чщ-чщ-чщ...Лёша, моя жизнь, спи, хорошенький. Всё в порядке…_ ” Geno crooned, and by the sounds, Sid could tell that Geno was bouncing on the balls of his feet, trying to calm Lyosha down. As Geno started humming a tune for Lyosha, Sidney felt that now-familiar ache in his heart, wishing he could be there with them. Sidney just listened for a moment as Geno started singing the words to the tune he’d been humming.

“ _И хотя нам прошлого немного жаль, лучшее, конечно, впереди…_ ”

Geno sang to Lyosha for a little while, and Sidney listened with a small smile on his face. He knew the song that Geno was singing; he’d had to learn it in class back in high school. It was a song about leaving things behind and moving on.

“ _I should…let him sleep,_ ” Geno said after a while, when Lyosha’s fussing had quieted.

“Yeah, ok,” Sidney sighed.

“ _I call you later, Sid, ok?_ ” Geno said, his voice soft, like he was trying not to wake Lyosha.

“Ok, Zhenya,” Sid said, not really sure why he matched the low softness of Geno’s voice…it’s not like he could wake Lyosha up by talking too loudly into the phone…

“ _Bye, Sid,_ ” Geno said warmly, like he was smiling into the phone as he said it. Sidney responded in kind and took a deep breath when he’d hung up the phone.

Geno had brought up an excellent point…it had felt like his employers were toying with him that night, and this was hardly the first time he’d felt patronised by them. So why _did_ he work for them? Five years ago, he could have answered that question in a heartbeat. He’d taken the job so he could send money home to his mother and sister. But he didn’t _have_ to do that anymore. And as he sat there, asking himself, why, after ten years, was he _still_ there? He was surprised to discover that…he really didn’t have an answer.

He was startled when his phone started vibrating in his hands. He smiled when he saw who it was, surprised that she’d called him this late.

“Hi, mom,” he answered.

“ _Hi, baby! How are you?”_

“I’m...I don’t know. I went to that ten-years-of-service ceremony tonight...”

“ _Oh, right, I remember you telling me about that. How did it go?_ ”

“It was...it was terrible. First, they made us play some dumb matchmaking game—“

“ _A matchmaking game?_ ” His mother sounded incredulous.

“Yeah, I don’t actually think that was their original intention, but...we all had words on our name tags that we were supposed to match with other people’s words...like, mine was ‘arrow’, and I was supposed to find someone with the word ‘quiver’ on her name tag...and somehow all the married couples got paired together, so...it took over an hour, and it was just...so awkward.”

“ _I'm guessing they didn’t pair you with anyone cute?_ ” His mother teased.

Sidney laughed. “No...uh, she was a nice girl, but, uh...her boyfriend found it just about as awkward as I did.”

“ _Ohh, I see..._ ” his mother chuckled.

“Oh, that’s not the worst part, though,” Sidney added.

“ _Oh?_ ” His mother asked.

“You know what the awards were this year?”

“ _Hmm?_ ”

“Hourglasses. They gave me a 90 minute hourglass.”

His mother made a disbelieving sound.

“ _An hourglass!? After they gave you that clock five years ago?_ ”

“Yeah,” Sidney said, as he rubbed a hand over his forehead. “I...almost wanted to quit right there. But I...kind of like having a place to live, so...”

His mother was quiet for a second.

“ _Well...Sidney, you never did like it at that place...Why don’t you try finding another job?_ ”

Sid hesitated. “I...don’t know. Maybe I will? I’ll...just have to see.”

Sid’s mother made a knowing sound, but she didn’t push it further, and Sid was grateful when she changed the subject.

 _“So, I tried calling you earlier, but the line was busy,_ ” she said. “ _Were you talking to someone?_ ”

“Well…” Sidney hesitated. Should he mention Geno? Would that be wise? If he did mention him, he had a feeling she would just know by the sound of his voice that he really liked him…

“ _Who were you talking to?_ ” His mom asked, a little smile in her voice. “ _If it’s not a secret, of course._ ”

“Uh...” Sidney had to laugh. She already suspected something, and he hadn’t even said anything. She was way too perceptive sometimes… “No, it’s not a secret, uh...”

His mother waited patiently, but Sid kept hesitating, not quite sure where to begin. “I…uh…well...”

“ _Sidney, did you…meet someone?_ ” his mother asked cautiously.

“Well…no?” Sidney said. “Not technically,” he added quickly, wishing he could take it back as soon as the words left his lips.

“ _Not_ _technically?_ ” His mother repeated, a smile in her voice.

Sidney hung his head. It was already too late, he’d already said too much without having said much at all. He’d never been good at hiding things from her.

“I…I met a new friend on the plane home from Paris. Well...two friends, actually,” Sidney said, deciding that telling it this way would be the safest route.

“ _Two friends?_ ” his mother asked, sounding surprised.

“Um...well, I told you that the plane got delayed, remember? I called you from the line at the help desk?”

“ _Mhmm…_ ” His mother hummed.

“Uh…so while I was waiting for the next flight, uh…this guy sits next to me—”

“ _A guy, huh? Tell me about him,_ ” his mother interrupted.

Sidney laughed a little before continuing. Something told him his mother already knew where he was trying _not_ to go with this. “Uhm…Well…he’s, uh…tall, dark hair. He’s, um—Zhenya—is from Russia, and—”

“ _Zhenya? That’s a pretty name,_ ” his mother interjected.

Sidney laughed again. “Mom, can I finish the story?”

“ _Right, sorry,_ ” his mother laughed.

“Ok…Well, I didn’t really pay much attention to him at first,” Sid admitted. “I was frustrated that I was going to have to wait at the airport all night, so…I was trying to figure out a way to kill the time, and then…” Sidney paused for a moment, remembering the moment three nights ago that had flipped his world upside-down.

“Well, he—Zhenya—was sitting there with his baby, and…I can’t tell you why, but the baby just kept crawling over to me. It was like…I don’t know, I guess he was just curious about me. So…Zhenya offered to let me hold him. So…I did, and.....” Sidney decided to leave out the part about how Lyosha had stolen his heart with those big brown eyes and then melted his heart when he settled down to sleep on his chest. Well...and the part about how Agatha and Christie had assumed exactly what he’d wanted them to assume.

“Well…Zhenya and I started talking, and...I guess we just…we just hit it off right away. He told me he’s moving to Montréal for work, and...well, when the delay was finally over, we…sat together on the plane and talked some more. He told me about his family, and his hometown in Russia…He even asked me to babysit for him! So…I actually went last night. It was nice, too...before he went to his job interview, he made dinner, and w—”

Sidney’s mother interrupted him with a knowing hum.

“…What?” Sidney asked.

“ _So…is he married?_ ” She asked, a sly tone in her voice.

“Mom!” Sid chided her.

“ _Sidney…the way you’re talking about him, you really seem to—_ ”

“Ok! Alright, I’ll admit, I mean…...I do like him,” Sidney interrupted. It probably didn't really matter, but in his mind, it was better if he admitted it before she called him out on it.

“He-he’s sweet, he’s…an excellent cook, I…I really like spending time with him and Lyosha, but, um…” Sidney paused, thinking about the picture of Geno’s wife on his coffee table. He thought about her smile and her sparkling green eyes. Sid knew he could never fill the gap that her death had left in Geno’s life. He couldn’t even come close.

“ _But?_ ” His mother encouraged him to continue.

“It’s…it’s just not that simple,” Sidney said quietly.

“ _Oh, Sidney,_ ” his mother said softly.

“It’s ok,” Sidney said quickly. “I…I like being his babysitter. That’s enough for me.”

Sidney heard his mother sigh on the other line. There were a lot of unspoken words in that sigh. She didn’t have to say that she hated to see him give up on things because he thought it would be better for everyone that way. Because he didn’t want to intrude. Because he was afraid to get hurt. Sidney heard every one of those unspoken words loud and clear.

“ _Well, it certainly sounds like you’ve already made up your mind,_ ” she said simply.

“Yup,” Sidney said, stubbornly holding his ground, just as he had 10 years ago before he’d moved to Montréal. 

Sid was glad when she dropped the subject there. He always hated it when he heard that pitying tone in her voice. He didn’t want her to worry about him, or to hurt for him. He could handle his own life.

She went on and told him about his sister getting a weekend job at the new rink that had just opened in town near their house. She was going to drive the Zamboni and help coach the midget-league goalies. Sidney’s heart swelled with pride when he pictured it. She hadn’t gotten into the NWHL yet, but Sidney hoped she had a chance. That’s what she’d told him she wanted to do after her graduation.

He had a happy tear in his eye when he finally hung up the phone. He was glad that his sister finally had a chance at her dreams. That had been his only thought ten years ago when he’d left: helping her get the opportunities he never got to have.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno listened to the ringback tone, wondering why he was suddenly so nervous. He was just calling to say hi.

After the fourth ring, he suddenly wondered if, maybe, he’d been calling too much. Sidney hadn’t commented on it, but...when Geno had scrolled through his recent calls earlier, wondering whether he should call or not, there were already seven outgoing calls to Sidney’s phone...and none incoming. In the end, he’d decided not to call.

It had kind of become a routine for him to call Sid at work, though, and as he sat there listening to the ringback tone, he suddenly wondered if Sid was ok with it.

Geno’s heart clenched. Sid always sounded so happy to hear him on the phone, but...what if he was just being polite? He’d been too polite to tell those old ladies that he and Geno weren’t married...not that Geno had minded that. He’d welcomed the chance to sit next to Sidney on the plane...well, and everything that came with that.

He’d thought a lot about it, and he now knew that he was so grateful not to feel alone anymore, that he probably would have gone along with whatever else those ladies had wanted to assume.

The phone kept ringing and Geno looked down somberly at the screen. Maybe he did call too much. Maybe he was coming off as too needy. He was about to hit the end-call button when the screen changed and he heard Sidney’s “ _Hello?_ ” on the other end.

Geno’s heart leapt and he hurriedly brought the phone up to his ear. Sid sounded out of breath.

“Hi,” Geno said cautiously. “You...ok?”

“ _Yeah, sorry,_ ” Sidney said, “ _I just got through security and my phone was in an awkward place and I still had to tie my shoes and...the plane leaves in 15 minutes, so I was rushing...and I almost thought I left my keys in the taxi, but I found them in the front pocket of my briefcase._..” He paused to take a breath. “ _Uhh...how are you?_ ”

“Oh, you...fly somewhere today?” Geno asked. He shouldn’t be surprised. He knew Sid travelled a lot for work...

“ _Yeah,_ ” Sid said. “ _I’m on my way to New York City to set a client up with some new data entry software..._ ”

“Ah, ok...” Geno couldn’t figure out why he suddenly felt disappointed. “You sound like you...breathe hard, so I ask.”

Sid hesitated for a second before responding, “ _Thanks, Zhenya. I’m ok._ ” His voice sounded warm, and that helped calm Geno’s nerves a bit.

“So, ah...how long you in New York?” Geno asked.

“ _I’ll be there for two days,_ ” Sid said. “ _This particular system requires a lot of setup.._.”

Geno hummed. He almost wanted to say that he missed Sidney already, but he swallowed the thought.

“Hope you have fun!” He said instead, hoping he didn’t sound as disappointed as he felt.

“ _Yeah, I doubt that,_ ” Sidney said with a short, spiteful laugh. “ _I won’t have much time to myself out there, and if this client talks anything like she emails, she’s going to be...difficult to handle._ ”

Geno didn’t know how to respond to that, so he said, “Oh...sorry it’s difficult...”

“ _It’s ok,_ ” Sidney said quickly. “ _I’ve been doing this for ten years...I’m used to it by now._ ”

 _You...shouldn’t have to be use to it..._ Geno didn’t say. “Oh, so it’s not bother you, then?” he said instead.

“ _Nah, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before,_ ” Sidney replied, sounding nonchalant.

Geno wasn’t sure what else to say to that, so he changed the subject, telling Sid about taking Lyosha to the Montréal botanical gardens to see all the colourful flowers...

“I think Lyosha want you there with us,” Geno blurted out. He knew he should probably stop doing that, but the little breaths Sidney took when he said things like that make it well worth the while.

“ _Really?_ ” Sid said, sounding a little breathless. Geno couldn’t explain it, but he really liked it when Sid sounded like that.

“Yeah, I think he’s look around for you...sad you not there.” As soon as he’d said it, Geno wondered if he should have kept that one to himself. It’s not like it was a lie, though. The whole time they were at the botanical gardens, Lyosha kept looking around and saying “Niy” over and over. Lately, it seemed to have become his favourite syllable. Geno wouldn’t have thought anything of it, except for the fact that Lyosha had only been doing that since that night at the airport...and Geno couldn’t help noticing that “Niy” sounded a lot like the second syllable of Sidney’s name...

“ _Zhenya_?” Sidney said, pulling Geno out of his thoughts.

“Sorry, I’m...think a lot,” he said.

“ _Oh. About what?_ ” Sid asked.

Geno took a breath. “Everything,” he said, but he wasn’t prepared to elaborate, so he changed the subject again. “So, uh...I see you when you come home?”

Sidney only hesitated for a moment, but it felt like forever to Geno.

“ _Yeah! I’d, uh...I’d like that,_ ” Sidney said. He’d sounded like he was smiling, so Geno decided he’d take that one at face value.

“Great,” Geno said, smiling too. “I call you later, ok?”

“ _Ok,_ ” Sidney said. His voice sounded warm, and Geno suddenly wished he could see the expression on his face.

“Bye, Sid...” was Geno’s least favorite part of every one of those seven—no, eight—phone conversations.

“ _Bye, Zhenya._ ”

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Going to the zoo was one of Geno’s favourite things to do, and now that Lyosha was old enough to really appreciate it, Geno was glad that it was something he could share with him.

They were walking by the penguins when Lyosha sat up in his stroller and made an excited noise. Geno rolled his son over to the enclosure to watch them dive into the water over and over. Lyosha was giggling and waving his little arms, and Geno smiled and knelt down next to him.

“ _Тебе нравится пингвины, да, Лёш?_ ”

Lyosha squealed in excitement when one of them swam right up to him and tapped at the glass with his beak. Lyosha looked up at his papa and pointed at the tank.

“Niy!!”

Geno smiled and ruffled his son’s hair.

“ _Не, Лёш, это пингвин..._ ”

Lyosha clapped and repeated, “Niy! Niy!!” a few more times before he yawned and looked around. Then he looked up at Geno and said, “Niy! Deniy?”

Geno smiled down at his son. “ _Ну, да, я хочу, чтоб он был с нами тоже..._ ”

Geno sighed as he stood up and wheeled Lyosha towards the polar bear enclosure. He suddenly really wanted to call Sid. He wanted to call him and tell him that Lyosha missed him, if for nothing else, just to hear him get all breathless the way he did when Geno talked to him about Lyosha.

Well...maybe Geno also wanted to tell Sid that...he missed him, too.

Geno wheeled Lyosha up to the polar bear enclosure and knelt down next to Lyosh’s stroller. Lyosha stared in wonder, his eyes wide as saucers, as one of the polar bears dove gracefully into the water and swam down to the bottom of the tank. When the bear surged back up to the surface, Lyosha shrieked in excitement and clapped, then looked at Geno and pointed at the tank.

“P...a!! Apa!! Mii!!! Apa!!”

“ _Да, сыночек, вижу!! Это твоя Мишка? Это твоя Мишенька, да, Лёш?_ ”

Lyosha laughed and pointed at the tank again.

“Apa!! Daa Mii...Niy!!!”

Geno really wished he knew what Lyosha was trying to say, but he knew he’d have to give that a few more years.

Lyosha yawned again and looked down, then suddenly became really interested in his new shoes for a second, babbling on. Then Lyosha looked up at him and gave him a really big smile.

“ _Ох, ты, хорошенький_...” Geno whispered, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. He smiled down at Lyosha and ruffled his hair again before leaning in to kiss his little head.

Geno took a shaky breath and blinked a few times before standing up and wheeling Lyosha along. Lyosha was babbling some more, playing with his little shoes, and saying “Niy” almost every fourth syllable.

Geno’s hand itched at his side. He could call Sidney now...but...what if he was busy? He didn’t know what his schedule would be like in New York.Maybe he should wait until later in the day? But...Sid had said that this software would take a lot of time to set up and that it would be difficult...

Geno put his hand back on the rail of the stroller. He supposed he should wait...Sid would probably need his space today.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid sighed as he checked the connections on the new machines he’d just unboxed and plugged in. This was his favourite part of the job, just getting in and starting setup on all the equipment. Well, _usually_ it was. But _usually_ , nobody came up and bothered him while he was working. The CEO of this company, however, was a bit more...hands-on...than Sid was used to.

“Can you move that just a few inches to the left?” she purred in his ear, and he had to resist the urge to slap her hand off his shoulder.

“Uh, well, I haven’t gotten them up and running yet,” he said politely. “I’m just running some tests first. Then I can put them right where you want them.”

“Oh, I see...” She said, looking over his shoulder. Sid expected her to move off after that, but she didn’t budge a centimetre, and she left her hand on his shoulder. “You know, this is just...such an interesting process. And you’re doing it so well...How long have you been doing this?”

From the way she was touching his shoulder, Sid knew exactly what she _really_ found interesting, and it wasn’t his ‘process’.

“Ten years!” Sid tried to sound proud of it, but even to his own ears, he sounded flat and unfeeling.

“Wow,” she purred in his ear. “You must be...an expert, then. I bet you’re the absolute best at what you do.”

Sid just nodded and resisted the urge to shrug her hand off his shoulder.

“You know,” the CEO said, slowly letting her hand slide off Sidney’s shoulder as she walked over to the windows a few feet away. Sid was only half-listening, relieved that she’d finally taken her hand away.

“I built this company from the ground up,” she said, pretending to look out the window, but really looking at Sid's reflection in the window. “It all started 8 years ago, in my kitchen.”

“Wow,” Sid said politely as he checked over one of the other machines. “You’ve certainly...come a long way.”

“I have, haven’t I?” She said thoughtfully, then she smiled, looking back at him. “Eight years ago, I was nothing but a single mother who had just gone through a rough divorce, but now I’m the CEO of a makeup empire...and I did it all by myself.”

“That’s...very impressive,” Sid said. And it truly _was_ impressive, but it didn’t mean he wanted her touching his shoulder...or looking at him like _that_.

“It _is_ impressive,” she said, walking back over to him and putting her hand back on his shoulder. Sid stopped working and resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Not only had she invaded his personal space again, but she’d stepped right into his light.

“What _you_ do is very impressive, too,” she purred at him.

Sid fought the urge to scoff, thinking about the hourglass sitting on the counter at his apartment. Maybe to _her_ it was impressive, but to Sid, this was just a job. Instinct told him that she was just trying to butter him up because she wanted something, but he decided to just keep working as usual. She’d either eventually tell him what she wanted or not. He took something out of his tool belt and handed it to her.

“Can you please hold this flashlight for me?” Sid asked politely. To his dismay, she looked delighted to be involved in his ‘interesting process’ and happily obliged. At least now he could see what he was doing.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid didn’t leave to go back to his hotel until 9 pm and, due to traffic, didn’t actually get back to his hotel until 9:43. He gave a loud sigh as he flopped face-down on the bed. He had gotten all of the machines tested and placed, but he still hadn’t unboxed all the monitors that came with the machines...that would take up a lot of his time the next day, seeing as how there were thirty eight more of them to unbox, test, mount, and connect. Then he would have to test the whole system to see if it was functioning properly together. He would have liked to get more work done that day, but he hadn’t counted on 9 hours of an over-interested CEO making passes at him every time he so much as breathed. He supposed it wasn’t exactly the worst experience he’d ever dealt with. He turned over in bed and sat up to untie his shoes, thinking back to the time two years ago when a CEO in Texas had tried to bribe him for more equipment. He’d almost shipped all the machines back and left without setting anything up. It was a good thing that the CEO had a business partner who was able to talk some sense into him and actually paid Sid to do the work he came to do.

There were other weird ones as well. He’d been threatened at gunpoint while installing computers at a university in New Mexico, got a marriage proposal after finishing a job in Toronto, almost been hit in the head with a ladder about six times in Detroit while he installed computers in a high rise that was under renovation, and someone in Calgary had tried to pay him with a horse.

Sid smiled shook his head. He almost regretted not taking the horse, but there would have been nowhere for him to house it. He sighed again and stood up, heading straight for one of the three TV-dinners he’d stashed in his room’s tiny refrigerator. He sure hoped that this job wouldn’t end in another marriage proposal, but with how handsy the CEO was being, he couldn’t be sure. She’d actually touched his ass after insisting on hugging him goodbye. Sid made a face, watching the TV-dinner rotate in the microwave. Now he supposed he understood what his female co-workers were complaining about, but he was sad they ever had to deal with that.

The dinky little microwave in his room finally beeped, and Sid took out and stirred his Marie Calendar’s Chicken Alfredo with Broccoli. He found out after taking a bite that it had a cold spot in the middle, but he was tired enough that he didn’t want to put it back in the microwave, so he just ate it that way. His thoughts turned to Geno’s cooking as he took another bite. He really wished he could be eating Geno’s stuffed cabbage leaves instead of this cold pasta right about now.

Sid wondered how Geno and Lyosha were doing. It was late, maybe Geno was reading a book or watching something on TV...he would probably have already sung Lyosha a lullaby and put him to bed, tucking him in with his little polar bear teddy and kissing his little head. Sid put down his fork as that familiar ache crept back into his chest. He really wished he could be there with them.

Sid stood up and almost walked across the room to get his phone, but he hesitated. It was late enough...Geno could have already gone to bed. Sid sat back down and frowned at his pasta.

He really shouldn’t miss them so much, but he just...did.

He sighed and took another bite of his cold pasta. Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno blearily blinked up at his clock. He hated waking up this early, especially after having such a rough night, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep once Lyosha woke up in about an hour. Beside that, he really had to pee, so he sighed and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Geno yawned and padded into the kitchen, enjoying the soft golden light of the sunrise as it brilliantly lit up his marble countertops. He was about to push the button on his little four-cup coffee maker when he suddenly remembered that he hadn’t filled it up the night before. He grumbled and went to get the coffee grounds out of his freezer, swearing under his breath as he tripped a bit over the little floor mat by the sink.

He yawned again as he absently filled the coffee filter with some grounds and stuck them in the maker, finally pushing the button.

He rubbed his eyes and sat down at the table to wait for his coffee. He took out his phone and read some news from his friends and family on VK and Facebook, gratefully breathing in the wonderful scent of coffee as it permeated the kitchen. He laughed as he read his direct messages; he could always count on his brother Denis to send him stupid memes and funny pictures of dogs. But today, that’s not all he had sent. Denis had asked him how he was and if he was ok. Geno hesitated before responding that everything was fine. He wrote about his and Lyosha’s adventures at The Biodome, the botanical gardens, and the zoo. He was about to write about how much his new friend Sidney meant to him, but he hesitated, watching the cursor on his phone blink at him. He didn’t understand how he felt about Sidney himself, so how was he supposed to explain it to his brother? He finally wrote that his new friend Sidney was great with Lyosha and was helping him out a lot, deciding to just leave it at that.

His little coffee maker beeped shortly after that, and Geno got up to pour himself a cup. He made a face at the first sip and poured his cup out. It tasted burnt and bitter. He must have not been paying enough attention and put too much of the coffee grounds into the filter. He filled his mug with water and poured it into the coffee machine, hitting the button again. He guessed that’s what he got for making coffee half-asleep.

He sat back down at the table and looked at his phone again. He really wanted to call Sid, just to have someone to talk to, but he didn’t want to bother Sid at four in the morning. He hoped Sid was sleeping peacefully and dreaming good dreams.

Geno hadn’t dreamt many good dreams lately. He’d only had a few particularly bad nights since moving from Russia, but last night was, unfortunately, one of them. He’d woken up at 1 AM with a racing heart, the sounds of shattering glass and his wife’s screams still echoing in his ringing ears. 

After Geno had finished his first cup of coffee, Lyosha woke up, and Geno stopped thinking about his nightmare. He didn’t have the time or the energy to think about it. He changed Lyosh and got into his workout clothes, then put Lyosha in his carrier and went down to the gym for his morning ride on the stationary bike.

After he got back upstairs, he put Lyosha in his bouncy chair while he took a shower, and then gotten dressed and took Lyosha with him into the kitchen. He made breakfast for himself and then fed Lyosha, all the while thinking about what Sid might be doing. It was late enough in the morning now that he was probably at work, and Geno ached to call him, but he still wasn’t sure if he should. Geno hated it when people bothered him while he was busy, so he didn’t really want to take up Sid’s time while he was doing a difficult job.

Geno was folding clothes when he finally decided, if he didn’t want to call Sid and take up his time, he could at least send him a picture of Lyosha. Sid wouldn’t have to look at it right away; he could look at it whenever he got a free second. Maybe it would brighten his day.

Geno scrolled through his phone pictures for a while before finally deciding on one to send him. He hesitated before writing a text to go with it.

_Miss you!_

Then he hit send before he could change his mind.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

“Oh, is this the screen accounting sees? This is where they can input dividends and stuff like that, right?” The CEO pointed to something on the screen. “Oh,” she giggled to herself. “They're touch screens!”

“Yes,” Sidney said, a little irked that she hit something she hadn’t meant to hit when she’d touched the screen. He quickly brought them back to the previous screen and let out a breath. “Of course, all that you’ll need to know is in the training videos we’ve provided.”

“Oh, that’s just _amazing_ ,” the CEO purred. “You’ve really thought of everything! But then again, you’ve been doing this for 10 years, haven’t you?”

Sidney did not want to answer that. He wanted to shrug this lady’s hands off his damn shoulders and run away to the nearest rink to shoot pucks into a net as hard as he could.

“Yup, ten years,” he said, his voice strained. He was barely hiding his discomfort by now, and he was amazed at the fact that she somehow hadn’t caught on yet.

“You’re just...experienced, then, aren’t you...” she purred, getting in front of him and giving him a look that, a year ago, he might have actually taken an interest in, but right now, it just made him feel...unclean. She kept looking at him, like she expected him to do something...

“Um...Miss Fremon—”

“You can call me Deborah,” she interrupted in her low purr, looking at him through heavy-lidded eyes.

He didn’t know what to do, or what to say to her, and he was anxiously planning an emergency escape route when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Sid was a bit startled; he got so many emails a day, he had turned off the notifications, which meant the buzz he’d just gotten was a text...but he couldn’t imagine who it could be from...

The CEO—Deborah—nosily looked down at his phone as he looked at the lock screen. Sid’s heart rate suddenly jumped higher when he saw the name of the sender. Geno had never texted him at work before...The lock screen showed that Geno had sent him an image file, so Sid curiously tapped the notification and unlocked his phone.

Sid couldn’t help the small gasp he took when he saw the picture, nor the big goofy smile that followed it. Geno had sent a selfie of himself and Lyosha. He was kneeling next to Lyosha’s stroller with a big smile on his face and a bird perched on top of his head, and Lyosha was looking up at the bird with his big curious brown eyes and pointing. Geno was...devastating in those sunglasses, and just seeing Lyosha's face was enough to make Sidney’s heart soar.

Deborah was looking at him quizzically when he glanced up at her. He cleared his throat and looked down to type out a response.

_Miss you both, too!_

And without a moment’s hesitation, he added a heart emoji and hit send.

“Oh...” Deborah said. “But...you don’t...have a ring...I just thought...” She said, almost to herself. She looked so disappointed that Sid almost apologised.

“I...wasn’t quite sure how to tell you,” he said instead in a quiet voice. 

She stood up straight and smoothed out her pencil skirt. “It’s alright. I’m a strong woman. I’ve dealt with disappointment before, and this won’t be the last time.”

Sid didn’t know what to say, so he just nodded.

“You’re...you’re very lucky, you know,” she said quietly. “You really have a beautiful family.”

Sid’s heart clenched in that familiar way when she said it.

“I...I do,” he said, wishing for the world that, one day, he wouldn’t feel like he had to lie anymore.

He looked back down at Geno’s selfie as Deborah walked back to her office. He was glad Deborah wasn’t hanging on him anymore, but he probably shouldn’t have sent Geno that heart emoji. How was he going to react to that?

Despite his worry, Sid couldn’t keep the smile off his face as he stared at the picture for a moment longer. He sighed before guiltily saving it to his phone.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid took a sip of his coffee and stretched his stiff neck. He’d never liked the Laguardia airport, but at least his flight would leave in less than 15 minutes and he could finally get back to Montréal and his…relatively normal life. He’d had a wild couple of days in New York, but at least the system setup had gone off without a hitch. Still, he was ready to be home. He missed his couch and his own bed.

Well. He smiled down at his new lock screen background. He missed Geno and Lyosha most of all.

After staring until the screen went dark, he unlocked his phone and opened his emails and scrolled through them, just to have something to do while he waited for boarding to start. He frowned when he found an email from Max, letting the night-leaguers know that Friday’s game had been cancelled due to ‘ _a private party or some shit, I don’t know_ ’. Sid personally thought people shouldn’t be able to rent the rink out from under the regular crowd, especially not the night-leaguers, but the owners of the rink seemed to like money more than their regulars.

Sid was still frowning at his screen when it suddenly lit up with Geno’s name, surprising him.

“Hello?” Sid answered, a little smile at the corner of his lips.

“ _Hi, Sid!_ ” Came Geno’s cheerful greeting. “ _How you like New York?_ ”

“It’s, ah…” Sidney laughed. “Let’s just say I’m glad I’ll be home soon.”

“ _Ohh, yeah?_ ” Geno laughed. “ _Boring?_ ”

“…Yeah,” Sidney lied, turning towards the wall. He decided not to mention Deborah the handsy CEO. He also really wished his heart would quit skipping every time Geno laughed. It was embarrassing.

“ _When you get back?_ ” Geno asked.

“Oh, uh…the plane gets in at 6:15…” Sid said. “Why?”

“ _You want I…take you home? So you not have to use taxi again?_ ”

Sidney was quiet for a moment, processing what he’d just heard. Not only had Geno remembered that Sid had taken a taxi to the airport two days ago (even though he’d only mentioned it in passing), but he’d called to ask if Sid wanted a ride home? Russians must really take this friendship thing seriously.

“ _Sidney?_ ” Geno checked. “ _You still there?_ ”

“Uh, yeah, uh…you wouldn’t mind?”

“ _Sid, I want to! And…Lyosha miss you,_ ” Geno said. “ _He want see you, I know._ ”

Just then, Sid heard Lyosha make a little noise, and a warm feeling filled his chest. He didn’t even care to hide the big smile that spread over his face.

“I miss him, too,” he blurted out, unable to keep his longing to see them from seeping into his voice. He was almost embarrassed to show that much emotion in public, but it _was_ the truth…

“ _I bring him, so he can see you,_ ” Geno said warmly, a smile in his voice. He paused for a while before speaking again. “ _Oh, Sid, you eat yet?_ ”

Sidney blinked. “Oh, uh…no, not yet.”

“ _Me too…You want we get dinner? Then I take you home?_ ”

Sid was speechless again for a second before he got his bearings. He shouldn’t read into this, but...it would be really nice to know what it meant.

“Uh, yeah, uh…Where?” He asked.

“ _I’m want sushi…it’s ok for you?_ ” Geno asked.

Sushi did sound good… “Yeah, that sounds great!”

“ _Good, ok,_ ” Geno said, and Sid could hear him smiling. “ _So, I see you…6:15? 6:30?_ ”

“Yeah, sounds like a plan,” Sidney said.

“ _Здорово,_ ” Geno said. “ _Ok, bye, Sid. See you soon. Скажи пока, Лёш!_ ”

Sid heard Geno move the phone, and then a soft little breath and a little giggle.

“ _Niy!!_ ”

Sid’s smile was so wide, it was hurting his cheeks.

“Bye, Lyosha,” he cooed. “Bye, buddy! I’ll see you very soon, ok?”

Sid was rewarded with another little giggle and a happy sound, and he suddenly wondered if Lyosha actually recognised his voice on the phone. He heard Geno moving the phone again, and then Geno’s soft chuckle.

“ _Ok, Sid, скоро увидимся!_ ” Geno said. “ _Пока!_ ”

“Bye!” Sid said again, still smiling as he hung up the phone. 

The woman sitting next to Sid nodded to him. “Was that your family?”

Sid started to say no, but…after all that had happened that weekend...he just couldn’t bring himself to do it, so he just nodded. Geno and Lyosh were the closest he’d ever had to his own family, anyway...

“I’ve uh…only been gone two days, but, uh…I already miss them so much.”

The woman gave him a knowing smile. “You a new parent?”

Sid couldn’t help nodding again.

“Travel a lot for work?” She asked.

Sid just nodded again.

The woman nodded, too. “It never gets easier, hon. You’ll _always_ miss them.”

Sid blinked at her as the desk attendant announced the start of the boarding process. The woman smiled at him and said goodbye as she got up and walked towards the priority lane. Sid looked down at his briefcase before standing up and walking over the the end of the line.

She was right. This wasn’t going to get any easier.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was a bit nervous as he walked through the airport towards the bag claims. Geno was going to be there to pick him up. They were going to go to dinner. Sid was going to hold Lyosha, and talk to Geno…and there wasn’t anything more that he wanted in the whole world, but something about what that woman at the Laguardia airport had told him was still bothering him. Sid wasn’t even really a part of Geno and Lyosh’s family, but emotionally, he was already in way over his head. He already cared about them so much that he missed them to the point of it actually being painful. And it truly wasn’t going to get any easier. He was always going to miss them when he was away from them. He travelled a lot, and he didn’t live with them, which meant he was going to miss them like this...every. single. day.

He hadn’t really even...thought about that. It had all happened way too fast for him to register what had been happening. Part of him was angry that he’d let his guard down, but when he really thought about it, he didn’t regret one second. If this was going to be as painful as it was joyful for him, he was just going to have to learn to deal with that.

Sidney saw Geno before Geno saw him. That familiar warmth spread through his chest, and he smiled as he watched Geno gently bounce on the balls of his feet, softly talking to Lyosha. Sidney wished he could take a picture of that moment and keep it forever, but the moment was over as quickly as it had begun, because Geno looked up and saw him. When he did, a big bright smile spread over his face and he waved. Sid almost teared up when Lyosha kind of waved, too. He wanted to run over to them and hug them, but he forced himself to walk.

“Hi, Zhenya,” Sid said as he got within earshot.

“Hi, Sid,” Geno said, quickly walking towards him. Lyosha was already reaching out to Sid and making whiny noises.

“ _Privyet_ , Lyosh! Hi, buddy!” Sidney cooed, reaching out to Lyosha, too.

“Niy!! Niiiyyy!!” Lyosha whined.

“See? I tell you he miss you,” Geno said softly as he handed Lyosha to Sidney.

Sidney closed his eyes as he hugged Lyosha. He could only nod in response to Geno’s comment as he swallowed back the lump in his throat.

“I missed him, too,” Sidney said when he had regained his composure.

Sidney held Lyosha close as Geno led him to the bag claims, going on and on about how he and Lyosha visited the zoo a day ago, and ‘Sidney, you know there’s little room where you can feed parrots with you hand?! Is where I'm take picture I send you!’

Sidney listened and nodded along, just content to be with them again. He wondered why Geno wasn’t mentioning the heart emoji Sid had sent him in response. Maybe it hadn’t seemed that weird to him.

Sid suddenly wished he could have been there with them at the zoo, seeing little Lyosha’s eyes full of wonder as he stared at the polar bears, or pointing at all the colourful birdies.

When Sid’s bag finally came through the claim, Geno grabbed it for him and led him towards the door. In a way, it reminded Sid of the night they’d met, leaving the bag claim on the way to the parking garage. Although, this time, they’d be leaving in the same car, and Sid was grateful not to have to let go of Lyosha until it was time to put him in the carseat. Lyosha did fuss a little when it was time for his carseat, but Sidney gave him his little keys and tucked him into the seat with his blanket, and he seemed to calm down once the car was moving.

On the way to the sushi place, Geno talked about the car he was thinking about buying if he got the job he wanted, and that he’d researched some schools for Lyosha to go to when he was old enough.

“I know is early, because, like...I’m not find job yet, you know? But…if he learn speak three languages, I think it’s…very good for him, you know?”

Sidney nodded. “Oh, definitely,” he said, but he was thinking more about how Geno seemed to be keen on staying.

Geno looked over at Sidney as they approached a red light.

“You ok, Sid? Tired?”

Sidney nodded. “Exhausted,” he said. “But I’m so glad to see you guys.”

“We glad see you, too, Sid,” Geno said, smiling at Sidney. There was something in his eyes when he said it, but Sidney’s brain didn’t really have time to register what it was, because the light suddenly changed, and Geno brought his attention back to the road.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

They ended up getting takeout from the Sushi place, and since it was right near Geno’s apartment, they decided to go eat it there.

Sidney ate with Lyosha in his lap, and although it was a little work to stop Lyosha from grabbing his wasabi or whatever else he could reach, Sidney couldn’t have been more content. Well...maybe if Geno was sitting a little closer to him, he could be.

Sid internally chided himself. He really shouldn’t be having thoughts like that about a man who had recently lost his wife.

“I really want them...talk to me! Tell me something!” Geno said before using his chopsticks to dip a California roll into some soy sauce and eat it.

Sid nodded, thinking back to what they’d been talking about before he got lost in his own thoughts. Sid had asked how Geno’s Interview had gone, surprised that he hadn’t had the presence of mind to ask earlier. Geno told him that he thought it went really well, but he still hadn’t heard back from them.

“Did they tell you how long it usually takes for them to call people back?”

“Well, they say about a week…and they going to email me. Well, I _hope_.”

Sidney smiled and extracted a soy sauce packet from Lyosha’s little hand, putting it in the middle of the table, out of Lyosha’s reach.

“It‘s only been four days, Zhenya,” Sid said, bouncing Lyosha on his knee. “Give it a little longer before you start worrying, ok?”

Geno looked down and nodded, but he had a little smile on his face. Sid suddenly wished he knew what Geno was thinking.

“Sid, you have plans tomorrow?” Geno asked suddenly, looking up at Sid.

Sid was caught off guard for a moment, but he recovered quickly.

“Oh, uh...just work. Why?”

“Well...”

Was Geno avoiding eye-contact? Or was that just Sid’s imagination?

“There’s Canadiens game tomorrow, you know? You want, maybe like, uh...come over here and watch with me?”

Lyosha made a little happy sound right then, and Sid smiled down at him before looking back up at Geno. “Yeah, sure! I’d lov—“ Sid stopped himself. Maybe he shouldn’t use that word. “Um, that’d be great.”

Geno smiled, too, but he still didn’t look at Sidney. “Great, I make dinner and we watch game,” he said, dipping his sushi into the soy sauce.

Sid watched him as he continued eating, really wondering what was going through his head. Sid would never know, of course, so it was pointless to think about it, but…Sid couldn’t help wondering. Was Geno just lonely and in need of a friend, or was there more to why he wanted Sidney there?

Sid looked down. He knew he was just hoping there was more to it when there probably wasn’t. It probably only had to do with Lyosha. Geno probably just needed a bit of a break. He probably just needed help, and another adult to converse with. He _was_ raising a small child all by himself, after all, and that was tiring work. Well, that, and Geno made it obvious that he knew Lyosha liked being around Sid, and that he…missed him when he wasn’t there. But what Sid couldn’t figure out was…how did Geno know that?

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid and Geno cleaned up the takeout containers after they’d finished eating, and Sid hummed absently for Lyosha as they walked down the hallway two put him to bed. He didn’t see Geno’s reverent expression as he silently walked behind him.

When Sidney laid him in his crib, Lyosha made a half-hearted sound of protest before he yawned and looked back up at Sid with his sleepy brown eyes. Sid smiled and heard Geno’s soft laugh right behind him…almost like it was right over his left shoulder. Sid looked back at Geno, but he couldn't be sure how close he'd been, because he’d already moved away, grabbing Lyosha’s teddy bear off the dresser and bringing it back to the crib.

“ _Мишенька! Вот Мишенька, пришёл из северного полюса, чтоб тепло обнимать тебя!_ ”

Geno made the teddy bear dance over Lyosha, who smiled and blinked his sleepy little eyes before reaching out and hugging the bear close to himself. Geno laughed softly again and leaned down to kiss his son good night. “ _Спокойной ночи, сынок._ ”

Sid felt warm and cold all at once. He really loved being there with them and getting to see how much Geno adored his son. He wished he could be there with them forever, and for some reason, that made him feel awful. He thought of the picture of Geno’s wife on the coffee table. It wasn’t fair that she wasn’t there to witness this…so what gave Sidney the right to be?

Geno shut the door behind them when they walked into the hallway, and then turned to Sidney.

“Ok, you ready? I take you home now?”

Sid just nodded. He felt a little off at the moment, and he wasn’t sure what to do about it. Geno was raising a son by himself in a foreign country after losing his wife in a car accident; Sid could barely imagine just how lonely that must be. On top of that, Geno acted so cheerful all the time...had he really had enough time to process things, or was he just hiding behind a happy-go-lucky façade? Sid ached to hug Geno, but he knew he shouldn’t, so doing nothing seemed like the best option.

Geno went and grabbed his coat off the rack and draped it over his arm, then he grabbed Sidney’s and brought it to him. Sid took it and started to out it on.

Geno started to put on his coat, too, but then he snapped his fingers and took it off again.

“Oh, wait, I have to put coffee in maker, or I forget…have to do it morning,” Geno said, setting his coat down on the couch and walking back into the kitchen.

Sid wasn’t sure if he should, but he put his coat down, too, and followed Geno.

“I wish coffee just…ready when I wake up,” Geno laughed as he poured water into the little four-cup coffee maker on the counter. It probably came with the apartment. “Don’t want make coffee when I’m tired…I make mistakes, coffee taste horrible.”

Sidney thought for a moment. “Well…I have a dual espresso/coffee maker that you can programme.”

“Programme?” Geno asked, looking back at Sidney with a confused expression on his face.

“Yeah, you can set it up so that it turns on automatically,” Sid explained. “It’ll make the coffee so it’s ready when you wake up.”

Geno looked surprised. “Wow! Where you get it? I can buy one here?”

“Well, I’m...not using mine at the moment...” Sidney said hesitantly. “If you want, I could bring it over here tomorrow?”

Geno smiled, but he looked a little incredulous. “You have amazing coffee maker and you not use?”

Sidney shook his head. He had his reasons for not using it...one of which was the unwanted reminder of making early morning lattes for someone who never quite appreciated it.

“You can have it, if you want it,” he said with a shrug.

Geno still looked like he didn’t believe it. “I can…really, Sid?”

“Well, sure,” Sid said, shrugging a shoulder.

Geno smiled warmly at Sidney. “Thank you.”

Sid smiled and looked down. “It’s no problem, really.”

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

The car ride to Sidney’s apartment was mostly quiet, except for Sidney telling Geno where to turn and making a bit of small talk about the coffee maker. Geno looked over at him as much as he could, but Sidney didn’t seem to notice. He was looking out the window, lost in his own thoughts, and Geno wasn’t sure what to say to bring Sidney out of it. He thought maybe he shouldn’t even try. Maybe Sid was just tired, and Geno wouldn’t be helping by trying to talk to him, so he just tried to give Sid his own space.

“It’s just up the road there,” Sid said, once Geno had turned onto his street. “That big yellow building.”

Geno raised his brows. “That one?” He pointed at it.

“Yep,” Sid said. “You can just...drop me off at the front.”

Geno stopped in front of the building and looked up at it. He turned to Sidney, opening his mouth to say something, but he thought better of it and just smiled at Sidney.

“Thank you, Sidney,” he said. “Have good night.”

Sid smiled back at him. Then he hesitated before reaching into his briefcase.

“Um, Zhenya?” he said, holding out one of the 100 dollar bills that Geno had given him four days ago. “You...really didn’t have to give me so much for watching Lyosha. I...really would do it for free, if you asked.”

Geno looked at the bill, but he didn’t move to take it. “Sid, but...I want to give you so much because...you help me so much.” His voice got quieter. “You worth...so much.”

Sidney stared at him, speechless. What was he supposed to say to that?

Geno just smiled and shook his head, looking down at the steering wheel.

“Please, Sid...just keep. You bring coffee maker for me tomorrow, right? Can say it’s for coffee maker.”

Sid couldn’t help smiling a bit. “I...got the coffee maker for 80.”

Geno caught his smile and smiled back at him, his eyes glinting in the light of the street lamp.

“Okay...so you give me coffee maker tomorrow and twenty bucks?”

Sid nodded. “That works for me,” he said decisively.

They said their goodbyes, but when Sid opened the door and stepped out, Geno called to him.

“Ey, Sid?”

Sid looked back into the car. “Huh?”

“If you give me tomorrow, I’m sneak twenty backs back in your coat when you don’t see, you know?”

Sid stared at him, as if he was trying to figure out if he was serious. Geno smiled at him, and Sid smiled and then laughed.

“Then...I’ll sneak it back to you somehow.”

Geno laughed.

“Ok, Sid, but then I sneak it back again,” Geno said with a playful look in his eye. “You know I’m not lose this game...”

Sidney laughed again. “Goodnight, Zhenya.”

“Goodnight, Sid.”

Geno took a breath as he watched Sid walk up the steps to his apartment building and disappear behind the door. Geno slowly drove away, suddenly wishing he didn’t have to say goodbye like this. It would just be easier if Sid was with him all the time. Then he wouldn’t have to worry about missing Sid like he did when Sid was in New York. Geno didn’t quite understand why, but, damn him, he just genuinely liked Sidney. He was a good guy, he was great with Lyosha, and Geno really liked spending time with him. And. Well. He’d discovered tonight that...he really liked looking at him, too. Maybe what he felt was wrong, but damn him if he felt like life was just easier with Sidney around. Damn him if he thought it was hard not to get lost in those hazel eyes, or if he just wanted to listen to Sid’s laugh, or see him smile, all the time.

Damn him if...maybe...he might want a taste of those pretty full lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! I hope your lives have been going well, because mine sure hasn't...I've had a rough couple of weeks, but getting this story out seems to be keeping me going. I'd love it if you told me what your favourite parts were, and don't hesitate to let me know if there are any grammar mistakes so I can fix them right away)
> 
> Also: yes, I know the Montreal zoo does not have polar bears or penguins. I know that The Biodome is the one with the penguins. I'm sorry. I've taken a little creative liberty with this story in the form of "AU where the Montreal zoo has penguins and polar bears and a little parrot room!!" Sorry about that.
> 
> Also also: The song that Geno sings to Lyosha while he's on the phone with Sid is called Голубой вагон (The Blue Traincar) and you can listen to it [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOGaK5V2d2c), and here's the [lyrics with translations](http://wikitranslate.org/wiki/%D0%93%D0%BE%D0%BB%D1%83%D0%B1%D0%BE%D0%B9_%D0%B2%D0%B0%D0%B3%D0%BE%D0%BD).
> 
> If you'f like me to translate some of the Russian parts for you guys, just let me know)
> 
> Love you all,  
> -M


	4. Your Sweet Familiar Light...

Sid huffed out a breath as he struggled through his emails. Normally, he wouldn’t be struggling so much, but today, he just couldn’t focus. He’d even had a hard time getting to sleep last night, thinking about Lyosha, and his conversation with Geno in the car, and it was still distracting him even now.

He’d wanted to call and make sure Lyosha was ok in the apartment by himself, but for some reason, he just couldn’t make himself call, even after he’d taken his phone out and opened Geno’s contact information. On top of that, Sid kept thinking about Geno’s comment about how he was ‘worth so much’, which had caught him a bit off guard. He’d only babysat once, and he’d fallen asleep on the job, at that. Sid had a feeling that Geno felt he deserved $200 for other reasons, but for the life of him, he couldn’t figure out what they could be. And those playful statements about returning the 20 bucks if Sid tried to give it back? Sid couldn’t shake the thought that they would have felt...different coming from someone else. But with that glint in Geno’s eye, it had _felt_ for all the world like Geno was trying to flirt with him. Sid took a moment to rub his forehead. What if Russians just had a different idea of what flirting entailed? What if Geno was just trying to be playful in a friendly way?

Sid sighed and took another sip of his coffee. Geno was probably just being friendly. After all, they were just being playfully competitive over who would get to keep the 20 bucks. But...Sid still couldn’t get over the comment Geno had made about him being worth so much. What did that _mean_?

Sid closed his eyes and took a deep breath, deciding that he should really stop wasting his time overanalysing the minutia and just be happy with what his relationship with Geno already was. He and Geno had interesting conversations, spent quality time together, and Sid helped him with his beautiful baby boy. They were _friends_ , it was good like that, and there wasn’t much sense in trying to read into every single tiny little detail, hoping that it could be more.

Sid took another breath and glanced at the picture of his mother and sister before turning back to his computer screen and his emails.

He had just sent his response to a client in Wales when his phone started loudly vibrating on his desk. It shouldn’t have startled him like it had the last few times, but he couldn’t help his little jump at the sudden loud sound.

He wanted to be annoyed at the sound, but when he looked at the screen on his phone and saw the selfie of Geno and Lyosha, he couldn’t help smiling.

“Hi, Zhenya,” Sid answered.

“ _Hi, Sid! Good morning!_ ” Geno sounded happy to hear him.

“Good morning! Sounds like you got home safe last night,” Sid said, still smiling into the phone.

“ _Yes_ ,” Geno said. Before he could say anything else, Sid had to ask...

“How did, uh...How did Lyosha do while you were giving me a ride last night?”

“ _He do ok,_ ” Geno said. “ _I have...app for watch him on my phone, and I watch him while I drive. He sleep whole time. Still sleeping when I get home, too..._ ”

“I hope you watched the road as much as you watched him,” Sid joked with a little laugh, trying to hide the fact that...it worried him a bit.

Geno took a moment to process Sid’s words and then laughed, too. “ _Don’t worry, Sid, I’m good driver._ ”

Sid shook his head as he thought of Geno’s tendency to disregard the speed limit, but he was still smiling when he said, “I’m glad you’re both safe.”

“ _Not have to worry, Sid,_ ” Geno said, his voice getting softer. _“You know, I...think about it, and...I don’t like risk. I’m...never leave him alone in apartment again._ ”

“I’m glad to hear that.” Sidney said, a bit relived. He looked down at his hand where it rested on his desk. It would be easier if he just lived with Geno and Lyosh...then he wouldn’t have to worry about missing them all the time, or about leaving Lyosha at all...but he didn’t live with them. So it was probably a better idea just to make sure he had his own car with him from then on.

Sid understood that Geno probably hadn’t wanted to wake Lyosha so late just to take him along while he drove Sidney home. It had been a calculated risk. Either way, they were extremely lucky that Lyosh had slept well that night.

Sidney‘s blood suddenly ran cold as a disturbing thought crossed his mind. What if Geno hadn’t wanted to take Lyosha with them last night because he didn’t want to risk Lyosh being in a car accident...like the one his mother had died in?

But...that couldn’t be it...Geno had brought Lyosha in the car with him before...right?

“ _So, uh...Nice day today, yeah?_ ” Geno said after a pause, breaking through Sidney’s thoughts.

“It is,” Sid said, trying to shake the disturbing thoughts from his mind. “Uh, any fun plans this morning?”

“ _I think I’m take Lyosh to park today,_ ” Geno said. “ _Maybe, lunchtime._ ”

“Sounds like a good idea. Which park?”

“ _Uhh,_ _Parc la Fontaine_?” Geno said, his French pronunciation good, but a bit unsure. “ _Looks pretty._ ”

”It is very pretty there,” Sid said.

“ _Oh, good! You like_ _Parc la Fontaine?_ ”

“I do, it’s a great park,” Sid said. “There’s a pond there, and you can sit on the grass and feed the ducks...”

_Parc la Fontaine_ was just a few minutes’ walk from his workplace, but Sid decided he shouldn’t mention that. He had a lot of emails to get through today. He could daydream about going and eating lunch with them under the beautiful colour-changing leaves all he wanted, but he knew that, if he didn’t keep at least a little bit of distance, he would get in deeper than he already was. Well, that, and...Sid knew himself. If he went to the park with them at lunchtime and then came back to work, he’d be distracted thinking about them and never get any work done.

“ _Good! I take lots of pictures,_ ” Geno said happily. “ _Send you best ones!”_

“Great! I can’t wait!” Sid blurted out. The idea of receiving more of those kind of pictures made Sid extremely happy. He was a little surprised that Geno would want to send him more pictures, but then again, there must have been a reason he’d sent the selfie of himself and Lyosha at the zoo...

Through the phone, Sid heard what sounded like something plastic being banged against a plastic surface, and then Lyosha’s excited squeal. That now familiar warmth bloomed in Sid’s chest, making a wide smile spread over his face. He almost forgot about that distance he was trying to convince himself he wanted to keep, and he had to catch himself before he could suggest going to meet them at the park.

He heard Geno humming as he did something and was just about to ask what Geno was up to when Geno asked a question.

“ _Sid, you bring lunch with you?_ ”

The question sounded so nonchalant, but the implication made Sid’s heart flutter.

“Oh...uh, no...there’s a sandwich shop on the first floor of our building that I usually go to. Why?”

“ _Well, I’m just think...maybe you want me and Lyosh bring you some lunch?_ ”

“Oh, uh...” Sid would _love_ that, but before he could get his thought out, Geno spoke again.

“ _Or maybe...you want come with us in park? Take little break from work so hard?_ ” Geno asked. He sounded so hopeful, and Sid’s heart made a betraying twist...

“I...I’d really like that! I can...come during my lunch hour,” Sid blurted. So much for keeping his distance. So much for getting any work done today. It was too late for him. He was already in as deep as he could get. There was no denying it anymore: he’d already fallen in love with Geno and his adorable little baby boy.

“ _Здорово, я жду не дождусь_ ,” Geno replied, his voice warm and low.

The first word Geno said meant something like ‘awesome’ or ‘great’. Sid wasn’t exactly sure what that last part meant, but the way Geno said it made Sidney’s heart skip a beat.

“Uh, you’ll, uh...text me when you get close to the park, right?” Sid said, trying to keep his voice steady.

“ _Yeah, Sid, I can text you_ ,” Geno said.

“Great,” Sid said, unable to keep the smile from his face. It was probably the most idiotic smile...he didn’t have anyone to hide it from in his office, but he looked down at the floor, anyway.

“ _So, I see you soon, Sid?_ ”

“Yeah,” was all Sid could manage, but there was an obvious smile in his voice.

“ _Ok, good,_ ” Geno said warmly, and then addressed Lyosh. “ _Скажи пока-пока, Лёш! Скажи Сиду, до обеда!_ ”

Then he moved the phone, and Sid heard that familiar little breath and couldn’t help laughing out of sheer joy.

“Bye-bye, Lyosh! I’ll see you at Lunch, ok?”

Lyosha let out a happy sound and said, “ _Niy!! Iniy!!_ ”

Sid could swear that Lyosha had recognised his voice just then. He actually felt tears start to well up his eyes, and he had to just sit and breathe for a second as he listened to Lyosha babble into the phone at him.

Geno was laughing softly as he returned the phone to his ear. 

“ _Ok, bye, Sid! See you in...like, few hours!_ ”

“Bye, Zhenya! See you,” Sid said, and they hung up. Sid was thankful that he kept his voice steady when he said goodbye, but he did need a minute to recentre himself after the phone call. He took a few more deep breaths and wondered why he was so emotional over the fact that a baby could recognise his voice over the phone. Well, he supposed that was no one’s fault but his own.

He thought back to the day when he and Lyosha had met...Sid had been thinking about his life and gotten lost in thought about his ex, Jessica...and he’d been sad, thinking about his broken dreams...dreams of playing hockey for a living; of having a family...That’s when Lyosha had touched his face and then snuggled up against his cheek, as if Lyosh knew he was upset and was trying to comfort him. In that moment, a least a part of Sid's dream had felt fulfilled, and it was probably the exact moment Sid fell in love with Lyosha. It was hard not to feel emotional about someone he cared about so much.

And then there was Geno...Sid knew he’d been attracted to Geno since the moment they’d officially met, but Sid couldn’t actually pinpoint the specific moment when he fell in love with him. He supposed he’d been falling for Geno during all the little moments they’d spent together. When Geno’s knee pressed against his on the day they’d met...or when Geno let his head fall onto to his shoulder...or when Geno made Dinner the night Sid babysat...or all those times Geno had made him smile when he called, or had considered something Sid might need before it had even entered Sid’s mind...and especially the moment he received the selfie of Geno and Lyosha at the zoo...warmth filled Sid’s chest just from thinking about those moments.

Sid sighed and looked wistfully at his lock screen. He suddenly knew exactly why he loved Geno. It was the way that Geno was including Sid into his and Lyosh’s lives like...like Sid was a significant part of them.

But this was the first time that Sid actually stopped to consider...

Maybe he _was_ a significant part of their lives now.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was working with a small smile on his face when his phone buzzed once loudly against the glass top of his desk. He picked it up and smiled wider at his lock screen before tapping on the notification and unlocking his phone.

Geno had sent a selfie of him and Lyosha on the metro train as they went over one of the above-ground bridges. Lyosha was turned away from the camera, standing in Geno’s lap and looking out at the city with his little hand on the window, and Geno was holding Lyosh securely around the middle, smiling at the camera.

_Almost in park! See you soon!_

Sid’s heart nearly stopped when he noticed, at the end of the text...Geno had sent him a heart emoji.

Sid’s mouth fell open and he stared at it for a second before he drew in a breath and forced himself not to read too far into it. It could mean literally anything. Sid had sent him one first, anyway, and he wasn’t even sure how Geno had taken it...Geno could have taken it as a friendly heart, or thought it was meant for Lyosha. Sid knew a heart emoji may not mean the same thing to Geno as it did to him. Geno had probably sent him this one in a friendly way.

Sid took a breath, and updated his time sheet for his lunch hour. Then, for the first time in the ten years he’d worked there, he left the office building for his lunch hour.

As he was walking into the park, he got a strange sense that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing; like he was playing hooky from work or something. He tried not to smile about it as he continued walking.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed in his pocket, and he quickly looked to see what it was. Geno had sent another text:

_Meet you near Sherbrooke metro station?_

Sid smiled and responded yes, heading for the metro station nearest the southwest corner of the park. The station was actually a few streets away from the park, but it was on Sid’s way there. Besides, he’d get to walk the short remaining distance with Geno and Lyosh, and thinking of that had Sidney walking faster.

It didn’t take long to spot Geno by the exit to the metro station, since he was so tall, but that wasn’t the only reason Sid had no trouble finding him. Geno had Lyosha up on his shoulders, like he was holding him up so that Sid would see him first. Lyosha looked thrilled to be up so high and was laughing and babbling. Sid smiled widely and started walking towards them, and when Geno spotted Sid, he smiled and gently swung Lyosha down like a little monkey, nuzzling his nose, before walking over to Sidney.

“Hi, Zhenya!”

“Hi, Sid! Lyosh, look! _Смотри кто пришёл! Твой любимый человек!_ ”

Lyosha was giggling and babbling until he saw Sidney, and then he immediately made a happy sound, reached out to Sid, and said, “Niy!!!”

Geno handed Lyosha to Sidney, and Sidney was hugging Lyosha close and leading Geno to the park before he realised that...Geno had stopped asking if he wanted to hold Lyosha. It had almost happened fast enough that Sid didn’t even catch it. Geno just handed him over, and it had felt...comfortable. Familiar. Normal. Sid took a steadying breath as Lyosh settled against his shoulder and sighed, making that familiar fond feeling wash over him. He guessed really _had_ become a normal part of their lives.

The three walked down the street to the park. Lyosha was quietly sucking his thumb on Sid’s shoulder, and Sid was quietly enjoying just being able to hold him close. Geno made a few comments about how it was getting colder and that it would be time to start wearing thick coats soon. Sid nodded and agreed, and continued leading him to the park.

The park was hard to miss, now that all of the trees had started changing colours. The whole park seemed to be lit up with brilliant sunbursts of yellows, oranges, and reds, punctuated by the greens of the late-changing leaves. There was a carpet of fresh orange and yellow leaves under their feet, muffling the sounds of their steps as they walked into the park.

“Where do you want to sit? On a bench? Or...near the water?” Sid asked.

Geno shrugged a shoulder and smiled at Sid “What you like the best? Show me your favourite spot.”

“Well...” Sid was thoughtful for a moment before leading them off the main paved walkway of the park and down a little foot path. “I used the sit down here on the weekends sometimes, when I first moved here...”

Lyosha was more alert as Sid led them towards the water, where a family of ducks was bathing in the shallows. They quacked and moved a bit further into the water as Geno spread out a blanket a short distance away. He, Sid, and Lyosh settled onto the blanket, and Geno put down the bag that was on his shoulder.

“I’ll bet Lyosha would like to be able to see the ducks while we eat,” Sid said quietly, so as not to disturb the ducks.

Geno smiled and gestured to the bag he’d just taken off his shoulder. “I bring frozen peas, so we can feed them, too,” he said softly.

Sid‘s chest felt warm and he smiled at Geno. Sid wanted to hug him, but wasn’t sure if that was ok, given his uncertainty about their friendship, so he just stayed seated. Still, it honestly amazed Sid just how considerate Geno could be at times.

Geno opened his bag and took out two square objects wrapped in tin foil. He smiled and held one out to Sid.

“Sandwich,” Geno explained. “You say you going to eat sandwich anyway, so I make you good one.”

“Thank you,” Sidney said as he took it. “I really appreciate it!”

Geno smiled and shrugged his shoulder again instead of answering, but he looked pretty pleased with himself. He dug back into the bag and pulled out a few little ziploc bags of fruits and vegetables, teething crackers, and then Lyosha’s bottle. When Lyosha saw his bottle, he made a noise and reached for it. Geno chuckled and handed the bottle to Sid, who held it for Lyosha. It had less milk in it than Sid had seen before, but he knew that they had to leave Lyosh some room in his little belly for those teething crackers.

As Sid fed him, Lyosh kept glancing back like he wanted to watch the ducks, but he couldn’t see them so well at the angle that the bottle was positioned in, so Sid repositioned Lyosh on his leg so that he could see better. Lyosha made a noise as he nursed his bottle and watched the ducks bathe, utterly mesmerised.

Geno smiled and took a bite of his sandwich, then opened a bag of diced strawberries.

“He can try this when he done with his bottle,” Geno said. “He almost...1 year old, so...”

Geno trailed off, and that same sadness Sid saw the first day they’d met flashed behind his eyes again. He was quiet for a while as he stared at the ducks.

“...He’s getting old enough that it’s almost time to wean him from his bottle,” Sid supplied softly, hoping Geno was ok.

“Yeah...he, uh...he have some teeth, now, so...he needs eat real food,” Geno said, distractedly. He seemed to shake himself a bit before he looked at Sid. “Book I have, tells me to give him new food slow, see if he like it or don’t like it.”

“That’s a good way to do it,” Sid said.

Geno still looked a bit sad, and Sid wanted to comfort him somehow, but he wasn’t sure what to do. He hesitated before cautiously putting a hand on Geno’s shoulder. Geno looked a bit surprised at the touch and looked up at him, but when he saw the concerned look on Sid’s face, his surprised expression softened into a smile and he said a soft, “Thanks, Sid. It’s ok.”

For the next several minutes, they sat in silence, ate their sandwiches, and watched the ducks. Sid let Lyosh nibble on some of the strawberry bits, which Lyosh ended up liking a lot.

Sid and Geno took turns tossing peas out to the ducks in the shallows from where they sat side by side on the blanket. Lyosha tried to help throw the peas, but he hadn’t quite gotten the hang of using his arms yet.

“ _Хорошая попытка, сыночек_ ,” Geno said with a smile, after Lyosh had inadvertently thrown a pea at his face. Geno tossed the pea out to the ducks and ruffled his son’s hair, then bent down to kiss his little head.

Sid smiled softly. His heart felt so full. He really wished he could keep this moment forever...sitting with these two people he cared so deeply about.

A leaf suddenly fluttered down from the tree they were sitting under, tickling Sid’s nose...and landing right on top of Lyosh’s head.

Geno let out a soft “Oh,” and had his phone out before Sid knew it. Sid looked up at Geno just as he heard the shutter-click sound. He smiled and looked down at Lyosha (who was still watching the ducks, blissfully unaware of how adorable he was) and heard the shutter sound again.

“You’re gonna...send me those, right?” Sid said, and when Geno didn’t answer right away, he looked up at him.

“Yeah, Sid, I send them,” Geno said, a big, warm smile on his face. His smile was so bright that Sid couldn’t look at it for too long. He smiled and looked back down at Lyosha, trying to hide the flush on his cheeks. God, it was embarrassing just how easily Geno could make him feel like this.

“Sid, let’s take selfie,” Geno said, and when Sid looked up at him, he was picking up some leaves from where they’d fallen on the blanket. Sid looked confused until Geno leaned closer to him and put a leaf on top his head. He smiled at Sid and gave him a little wink, and Sid couldn’t help laughing as Geno put a leaf on top of his own head and scooted closer to Sid.

Geno positioned the phone in front of them and said, “Lyosh! _Скажи сыр!_ ” Thankfully, Lyosha looked up at the phone right as Geno took the picture.

Geno laughed and shook the leaf off his own head, then leaned into Sid a bit. He brought the phone closer, and tapped on the camera roll, so they could see the picture.

Sid smiled when he saw it, but his heart was aching. They really looked so much like a family, sitting there together with leaves on their heads, and he desperately wished that’s what they could be.

Geno chuckled a bit and then went into his messenger app. He tapped on Sid’s name and then sent him the three pictures.

“Thanks, Zhenya,” Sid said softly.

Geno just smiled at him and reached up to take the leaf out of Sid’s hair. He was so close. Sid just wanted to lean in and hug him...he wanted to—

Lyosha suddenly yawned very loudly. They both looked down and laughed softly.

“Time for his nap...I should...take him home,” Geno said quietly, plucking the leaf off his son’s head.

“Yeah...and I should probably...get back to work...” Sid’s head was spinning. Thank goodness Lyosha had yawned. If he hadn’t, Sid might have done something he regretted.

They cleaned up and tossed the rest of the peas out to the ducks. Sid picked up a very tired Lyosh and hugged him close while Geno tossed their trash in a bin.

They walked back towards the metro station in a comfortable silence, and Sid couldn’t help noticing that Geno was walking closer to him on the way back from the park than he had been on the way there.

When they got to the metro station, Lyosha seemed to know that they were going to part ways, because he started to fuss a bit, and buried his face into Sid’s chest, as if he was trying to hide so he wouldn’t have to leave.

“I know, Bud, I don’t want to let go either,” Sid whispered to him as they reached the station. “But I’ll see you later today, ok?

Lyosha made a whiny sound and buried his nose even more.

“ _Давай, хорошенький, иди к папе_ ,” Geno said, and Sid gently handed him over. Lyosha did not like that, and immediately reached out for Sidney, making more whiny noises.

“Niiiy...”

Sid couldn’t look at his little pouty face for much longer, or his heart would break. He rubbed Lyosh’s little cheek.

“It’s ok, Bud,” he said softly. “I miss you already, too.”

He looked up at Geno, who gave him a weak smile.

“You come tonight for watch Canadiens game?” he asked over Lyosh’s whimpers.

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Sid assured him, smiling. “And I’ll bring the coffee maker and 20 dollars.”

Geno smiled widely at him. “Ok, Sid. But you know what happen with 20 dollars...”

Sid laughed. “I know, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to try!”

Geno laughed, too.

“See you, Zhenya,” Sidney said, and before he knew what he was doing, he’d leaned in to give Geno a hug.

“See you, Sid...” Geno unhesitatingly hugged him back, kinda to the side so they wouldn’t squish Lyosha. Lyosha was quiet during the short hug, but the second they pulled apart, Lyosha made a sound of protest. Sid wanted to say, _I’m with you there, bud_...but he didn’t.

Geno gave Sid a devastating parting smile before walking down into the metro station and leaving Sid standing there, his heart making the same sad sounds that Lyosha was making.

Sid was both happy and sad as he walked back towards his office building. He really wished he could quit his job, run back to the metro station, and go home with them...but that wouldn't be practical.

Sid took out his phone and opened Geno’s text with the three pictures in it. He hadn’t realised it until he looked at their park selfie again just how...out of place his suit looked in the picture, especially when Geno was wearing jeans and a sweater. The thing was...Sid’s _suit_ was what looked out of place. He himself didn’t look out of place at all. And maybe it was because...there wasn’t any other place he’d rather be than with those two.

He saved the pictures to his phone without feeling an ounce of guilt, and walked back to his office with a little skip in his step.

Sid had a song in his head as the elevator brought him back up to his floor. He was humming it as he walked out of the elevator towards his office.

“Hey, what has you in such a good mood?” One of his new coworkers (Sid thought his name was Jean-Pierre?) asked as he walked by with an enormous stack of papers.

“It’s just...a really nice day today,” Sid said vaguely, and walked back into his office.

He sat down and opened his laptop, surprised at how energised he suddenly felt. 556 new emails suddenly didn’t seem like that much.

Sid was actually amazed at how many emails he’d gotten through by the time 5 o’ clock rolled around. Maybe it was the fact that he had something to look forward to, but he’d actually been very productive after going to see Geno and Lyosh that day. It was a welcome change after being so distracted that morning. He’d gotten his travel scheduling for the next two weeks pretty well down (thankfully, most of the jobs were in Montréal), and he’d gotten over 700 emails out of his inbox.

He still had that song in his head as he left work, and as he drove home to grab the coffee maker, he even let himself sing in the car. He didn’t care how bad it was, because he was the only one to hear it.

As he neared his apartment, the print shop he drove by every day caught his eye. He suddenly had an idea, smiling to himself as he changed lanes.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno wasn’t sure why he suddenly felt so nervous, but he just couldn’t seem to stand still. He’d even changed his shirt three times since 5:30. He sat down on the couch and bounced his knee, letting out a breath as he watched Lyosha sit and play with his keys in his new little playpen. Lyosha was babbling at his keys, then he would put one in his mouth for a while, before taking them out to babble at them some more and choose a different one to put in his mouth. Then he put a few in his mouth and made some noises, giggling to himself at the sounds he made. Geno smiled at him, suddenly feeling a bit calmer.

Geno supposed he could turn the TV on and get ready for the game...He turned on the TV right before the timer on the oven went off and he went to go check on it.

He thought about Sid as he pulled some chicken cutlets he’d prepared out of the oven. Well, he’d actually been thinking a lot about Sid. All day, in fact.

He didn’t fully understand why he had felt compelled to invite Sid to the park with them until he’d actually seen him. When Sid had walked up in his suit from work, he looked almost exactly like he had the day Geno met him (well, except he’d been wearing a blue tie the day they’d met, and today, he’d worn a yellow one). Geno sighed as he put the cutlets back in the oven to keep them warm.

Why did his heart do funny things when he saw Sid? And why was it so satisfying to be the cause of Sid’s smile? Geno didn’t quite know the answer to that. But now, he was absolutely sure that whatever he felt around Sidney had to do with _Sidney_ , and not just Lyosha.

Sure, Lyosha was a big part of why Geno liked to be around Sidney...Sid was so sweet and gentle with Lyosh, and Geno could tell that Sid absolutely adored Lyosh, and that Lyosh absolutely adored him right back. There had been some people in his own circle of friends that Geno wouldn’t fully trust to hold Lyosha, but Sid? He cared so well for Lyosha that Geno didn’t even think twice anymore about handing him over to him.

Sid had just become...familiar. Familiar in the best way. Geno had gotten used to the way his eyes crinkled when he smiled or laughed, and the way he seemed to know when Geno was having a rough time, assuring him with a touch...Sid had already become a constant in his life, and Geno guessed that...he was the one who had made sure of that. He was the one who called every day. He was the one who was asking for Sid’s time. And Sid...Sid was giving it to him. Geno still didn’t understand why Sid didn’t want to take all the money Geno gave him for babysitting...not only did Sid treat Lyosha like he was the most important person in his world, he was a bright light casting away the shadow of Geno’s loneliness...and for that? Geno would pay any amount.

They’d only known each other for such a short time, but Geno had already gotten used to Sid being there...and the thought of him not being there? Well...Geno didn’t want to think about that.

But—and maybe this was why Geno felt so nervous—there had been a moment at the park that scared him a bit. When Geno had leaned forward to take that leaf off of Sid’s hair, and Sid had looked up at him with his lips slightly parted? Geno had felt overpoweringly compelled...to kiss him.

He _hadn’t_ , of course, because just thinking about it gave him chills and made his heart race, even now. He didn’t know if Sidney even _wanted_ that. If he didn’t, and Geno had kissed him, he would have risked losing the light that Sid brought into his life...and the thought of that was almost too horrible to bear. Still...even if Sid _did_ want Geno to kiss him, Geno wasn’t sure he _could_ kiss someone right now. It had only been...almost one year since he and Alina had gone to the movies that night...

Geno sighed and rubbed his eyes. He shouldn’t be thinking about that right now. He knew it was absurd. Irrational. But some small part of him still feared that...he might lose everyone he loved.

Suddenly, he heard a knock on the door. His heart rate skyrocketed as he rushed to answer it. Sid was on the other side, holding a large box. Geno hesitated. There was Sid, his light...holding a big box and smiling. It made Geno’s racing heart want to stop altogether.

“Hi?” Sid said, almost sounding unsure.

“Hi! Come in,” Geno stepped aside so Sid could enter, then he took the box from Sid and nudged the door closed with his hip. “I, uh...wait, I put this in kitchen, ok? Wait one moment...”

He walked over to the kitchen and put the box on the counter. The box dwarfed his little four-cup coffee maker. He took a steadying breath, willing himself to calm down.

“How, uh...how big this coffee-maker, Sid?” Geno asked as he walked back into the sitting room, completely unprepared for seeing Sidney sitting on the floor with Lyosh babbling happily in his lap, as if he were telling Sid about his day. Geno leaned against the bar, hoping his suddenly weak knees wouldn’t give out on him.

“...it makes 10 cups, but you don’t have to put that much in, if you don’t want to,” Sid was saying.

Geno just nodded and smiled at him, thankful that his heart was starting to calm down a bit. He wanted to take out his phone and take another picture, but then, he noticed a brown paper package next to Sid on the floor.

“Sid, what’s that?” Geno asked, nodding at the package.

“Oh,” Sid said, looking down. His face looked a bit flushed. “It’s, um...”

He picked it up and carried it over to Geno with Lyosha curled up against his chest.

“I...knew you weren’t going to take the 20 dollars back, so...I spent it on a gift. I...hope that’s ok.”

Geno gave Sidney a puzzled look as he took the package, but he carefully ripped the brown paper off anyway, and he drew in a soft gasp when he saw what was inside.

Sid had gotten the selfie of Geno and Lyosh at the zoo framed. On the frame read the words: _#1 Papa_. Geno breathed out a laugh.

“...Sid...Sid, this....”

Geno was speechless. He couldn’t believe he’d already lost the game he’d planned to play with the 20 dollars...but part of him was _so_ glad that he did.

“ _Блин. У меня...у меня нет слов...просто...ну, Sid...спасибо..._ ”

“I’m...glad you like it,” Sid said, looking down at the floor with a smile.

Geno smiled, too, and he wanted to hug Sidney, or maybe...Geno’s heart started to race again. _No_. He began looking for a place to put the picture, before he could do anything drastic. He looked thoughtful for a moment before he said, “Ah,” and put the picture next to the one of him and his mother. It looked perfect there...and Geno was suddenly struck by just how much Lyosha looked like him.

“...Looks good, yeah?” Geno said to Sid.

“It’s perfect,” Sid said, smiling.

“I guess...you win,” Geno said, looking at the floor.

Sid looked confused when Geno looked up at him, so he laughed and said, “Can’t sneak this back in your coat. I like too much. Can’t give back.”

Sid laughed. “That was the idea.”

Geno laughed again and shook his head. “Ok...You win, Sid,” he said, then he hesitated. “This time,” he added with a wink.

Maybe it was Just him, but...Sid looked a little...flustered when he’d said that? But Geno didn’t have time to register what he was seeing, because just then, another timer went off in the kitchen and he had to go check on the soup.

He felt Sid’s eyes on him as he turned off the burner and stirred the soup. He glanced back at Sid as he re-covered the pot and put down the spoon. Sid looked confused, but curious.

“So, uh...how many emails you do today, Sid?” Geno said as he busied himself with something on the counter, so he wouldn’t have to look at Sid until he was ready.

“I got through 788, and responded to 460 of those,” Sid said, a hint of pride tinging his voice. “I mean...a lot of them were spam, or compliments that didn’t require responses, but...I got through a pretty big chunk today.”

“It’s great, Sidney, good job!” Geno smiled and finally looked over at him. He’d gotten used to Sid holding Lyosha, and...he really wanted things to stay that way...

Sid smiled at the comment, then they both looked down at Lyosha when he made a happy sound and raised his arms.

“See, even Lyosha say good job!” Geno chuckled. “Lyosha very proud of you!”

Sid laughed, his eyes crinkling in that way that Geno had come to appreciate. “ _Spasibo_ , Lyosh!”

Lyosha made another happy noise and said, “Niy!” with his arms still raised.

Sid repositioned Lyosha and hugged him close, and Lyosh’s little arms immediately curled around Sid’s neck. Geno was struck by just how much Sid...looked like he belonged there. A wave of emotion suddenly overtook Geno, and he had to turn around and pretend to busy himself with grabbing bowls for the soup.

God help him.

Geno grabbed some silverware, plates, and bowls, and braced himself for turning back around so he could set the table. Sid was still hugging Lyosh, swaying a bit and humming with his hand over Lyosh’s back. He had a small smile on his face, and when Lyosha gave a deep, contented sigh, Sid’s little smile grew wider.

These two were going to kill him if they kept doing that.

Geno smiled to himself as he set the table, thinking about how...that might not be such a bad way to go.

They talked about hockey as they ate, killing time until the Canadiens game started. The Canadiens were going to be playing against the Penguins, and Sid seemed surprised and impressed to learn that Geno knew a lot about NHL hockey.

“Penguins lucky they have Guentzel,” Geno was saying.

“Yeah, he saved the franchise, as far as I’m concerned,” Sid said, moving his fork out of Lyosh’s reach before taking a sip of his soup.

“Yeah, but I feel like...they need support him more,” Geno said. “If he have better wingers, support him more, they score more goals, I think.”

“Well, it’s not always just about the goals, though, is it?” Sid said thoughtfully, gently blocking Lyosha from putting his hand in his soup. “What they really need is to find a good balance. They need lines who mesh well...lines that can communicate with each other and make plays. If they have that, the goals will follow.”

Geno agreed with a hum and a thoughtful nod as he took another bite of the bread he had baked to go with the soup.

They ate chicken cutlets and fried potatoes for the main course, and talked about what made their favourite hockey players great. Sid didn’t need to be told twice to sing the praises of Steve Yzerman. Geno was smiling the whole time Sid talked about him. He loved watching Sid’s eyes light up like that when he talked about something he was interested in. Geno could listen to him go on like that for hours.

After dinner, they sat down in the living room just as the first period of the match started. Sid sat next to Geno with Lyosha on his lap, and Lyosha was chewing on his little keys as he looked up at the TV. Lyosh lost interest after a while and curled up to sleep in Sidney’s arms.

About halfway through the first period, Geno shifted and stretched his arm out along the back of the couch behind Sidney. He didn’t dare look over at Sid, trying to look like he was still completely engrossed in the game. He really was trying to focus on the game, but his heart was pounding so loudly in his ears, that he was having trouble hearing what the commentators were saying...oh well, hockey was a universal language. He didn’t need to work on his French anyway.

He supposed putting his arm around Sid was risky, but easily written off as something he was doing for comfort and not for flirting purposes. Geno chanced a small glance at Sid. He was so engrossed in the game, Geno didn’t think he even noticed. Geno couldn’t help letting out a relieved breath.

Lyosh’s eyes fluttered open when Sid reacted to a play.

“Oh, come on! That should have been a penalty! He obviously hooked him, watch...”

“Yeah, how they not see that?” Geno said, staring at the TV. He’d worked himself up so much, he hadn’t even seen the actual play, but there was a clear case of hooking in the replay.

Lyosh’s eyes slowly closed again, and Sid shook his head when the penalty wasn’t called.

“Figures...” he said, shifting in his seat. As he settled, he pressed his shoulder up against Geno.

Geno had to force himself not to react, but he couldn’t help the shiver that ran down his spine. He hoped Sid hadn’t felt that. He stared at the TV screen, watching intensely as the next play started. He had already decided he was going to pay attention to this one, and didn’t notice Sidney glance over at him a few times.

The Penguins ended up winning by 2, and it was late by the time Geno turned off the TV. Geno had never watched such an exhausting game...not because of the game itself, but because of enduring being practically pressed up against Sid the whole time and having to remind himself over and over not to cuddle him.

Geno excused himself to the restroom and splashed some water on his face, wiping his face with his hands as he looked up into the mirror. He took a deep breath. He needed to get it together.

When he went back out into the sitting room, Sid was sitting cross-legged on the floor, holding Lyosha up in a standing position and letting him bounce on his legs. Geno stood back and watched them with a little smile on his face. Lyosha would bounce a little and laugh, then babble and bounce some more...his legs were getting stronger every day, and Geno knew that, once Lyosha started walking, he was going to be hard to catch.

Lyosha let out a happy squeal and reached out to Sid, moving his legs like he was trying to walk to him. Sid smiled and guided Lyosh closer towards him as he held him up with his hands. Lyosha was smiling, and Sid laughed as he picked Lyosha up and hugged him.

“Good job, bud! _Molodyets_!” Sid said to him, and Lyosha made a happy sound and waved his arms.

Geno couldn’t help laughing softly and walking into the sitting room. Sid looked up at him and smiled. Geno smiled back as he sat down on the floor next to Sid. Lyosha looked over at him and reached out to him.

“Aba!” Lyosh said with a giggle.

Sid and Geno exchanged glances, and then Sid smiled and scooted away a little bit. Geno was confused until Sid lifted Lyosh and set him down in a standing position facing Geno.

“Can you walk to papa, Lyosh?” Sid asked. “You wanna go see papa?”

Lyosha giggled and reached out to Geno. “Apa!”

Geno’s heart swelled and he reached out to Lyosha. “ _Давай! Давай, сыночек! Иди к папе! Лёша! Иди ко мне!_ ”

Lyosha laughed and moved his little legs, and Sid leaned forward, supporting his little unsteady steps. As Lyosh ’walked’ to the edge of Sid’s reach, Sid started to let go a bit, letting his hands hover close to Lyosh’s little body.

Lyosha stood there for a moment, his eyes wide, swaying slightly as he realised he was the only thing holding himself up.

Geno felt tears start to sting his eyes, but he didn’t make any effort to hide them.

“ _Давай, Лёш! Иди ко мне! Иди сюда, хорошенький! Давай!_ ”

Lyosha gave a little breathy laugh and reached out to Geno again. He took an unsure little step, and then another, but he lost his balance...and fell right into Geno’s waiting arms. Geno laughed and hoisted Lyosh up so he could nuzzle his nose, then he brought him in and hugged him close, freely letting his happy tears stream down his face.

“ _Молодец, хорошенький! Вот молодец!_ ” was all Geno could say. He didn’t see Sid smiling at them with some tears of his own in his eyes, because Sid wiped them away as fast as he could.

After that, Lyosha yawned, and Geno looked at Sid and nodded towards the hallway. Sid nodded, too, and they stood up, walking down the hallway to the bathroom, where they got Lyosh changed and ready for bed.

They walked into Lyosh’s bedroom and, as Geno set him down in his crib, Sid walked over and got Lyosh’s little polar bear. He walked back to the crib and watched Geno kiss Lyosh’s little head. Geno looked up at Sid, who held Lyosh’s bear out to him. Geno smiled and gestured at Lyosh, wordlessly inviting Sid to give him his bear.

Sid smiled and held the bear out to Lyosha, making it dance like he’d seen Geno do.

“Here comes Mr. Polar bear!”

Lyosha giggled softly and reached out to it, hugging the bear close to himself. Before Sid realised what he was doing, he’d already reached down and began tucking Lyosh and his little bear in. He sent a glance up at Geno, who was standing there beaming.

Sid smiled and cleared his throat as he stood up.

Geno leaned down to kiss his son one more time before he turned on Lyosh’s new little sea turtle-shaped nightlight, which projected stars onto the ceiling.

“ _Спокойной ночи, сынок,_ ” Geno whispered. Then he turned off the overhead light, and he and Sid left the room, closing the door behind them.

Sid walked towards the coat rack with his head down. Geno walked behind him, not sure what to do. He felt like there was something hanging in the air that night, and he wasn’t sure if Sid felt it, too. Geno took a breath and tried to calm his pounding heart. He wanted to hug Sid and not let go. He wanted...a lot of things, but he couldn’t risk doing what he wanted. If he did, and Sid didn’t feel it, he could lose everything. When he looked up at Sid and watched him put on his coat, his face half-illuminated by the dim light from the lamps, he knew he couldn’t bear to lose what they had built.

“...Thank you, Sid,” Geno said. “Fun night tonight.”

“Yeah, I had fun too...” Sid smiled, and it was just too bright for Geno to look at. He moved behind Sid to help with his coat, so he could rest his eyes.

“Uh, Sid...you...can text me tonight when you get home?” Geno blurted out. “So, uh...so I’m know you safe?” he added, his face growing hot. He’d wanted to ask Sid to do this every time they parted, but he'd always been able to stop himself before.

Sid looked back at him, but Geno kept his eyes on the coat for a half a moment, smoothing it out and making sure it was sitting on Sid’s shoulders just right. He knew he would have to look up at Sid eventually, so he stepped back and forced himself to look up, enduring Sid’s intensely bright gaze.

Sid had a small smile on his face, and he hesitated for a moment before saying, “Yeah, sure.”

Geno smiled. “Great,” he said, and moved forward to hug Sid.

Sid hugged him back tightly, and Geno made sure to squeeze him and then let go quickly, before Sid could feel just how fast his heart was beating. Geno had to override the impulse he felt to let his hand linger on Sid’s hip, and he did so by moving away and opening the door.

“See you later, Sid?” Geno asked, unable to keep the note of hopefulness from his voice.

Sid was softly smiling as he nodded.

“See you later, Zhenya.”

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno set up the coffee maker Sid had brought, hoping that doing something would help calm his nerves. Every once in a while he would glance at his phone, hoping to see Sid’s text. The first few times, he shook his head at himself. Geno had driven Sid home before...he knew Sid couldn’t have gotten home in less than 15 minutes, even if it was late at night.

When he was done setting up the coffee maker, he sat down at the table next to his phone, and tried to read the owner’s manual so he could figure out how to programme it to turn on automatically. The English words all seemed to flow together, and after a while, he didn’t even understand what he was reading anymore. He set the manual down and rubbed his eyes. Maybe he should just ask Sid to show him how the damn thing worked.

...Sid. His bright light. Geno rested his folded arms onto the table and put his chin on his arms. He stared at his phone, as if that would somehow make Sid text him faster. He couldn’t help thinking that, if Sid were still there, he wouldn’t have to text to tell Geno he had gotten home safe, because...he would already _be_ home safe. Geno sighed and let his head fall to the table with a soft _thunk_. He had it bad, didn’t he?

Suddenly, the buzz from Geno’s phone loudly resonated through both the table and his head, startling him. He sprung his head up and grabbed his phone, his shaking hands struggling to unlock it. It was a text from Sid.

_Ok, I’m home safe._

There was a little smiley face next to it.

Geno smiled and typed out his own response.

_Glad to hear, Sid))))_

Geno wasn’t expecting to see the little typing bubble pop up, but it did, and soon, he received another text from Sid.

_Sorry, what’s ‘))))’?_

Geno smiled and typed his response.

_Oh, it’s just smile face) Don’t know why he don’t have eyes))_

He sent it with a laughing emoji.

_Oh, I see)_ was Sid’s response.

Geno laughed and sent _Yes, Sid, good!))))_

Sid sent a laughing emoji and _Well, I’m going to bed...good night._

Geno smiled.

_Good night, Sid) Sleep good))_

Geno locked his phone and stood up, feeling slightly relieved after texting Sid. His exhaustion was finally catching up with him, so he decided to get up and get ready for bed. He walked into his bathroom and set his phone down next to the sink while he got his toothbrush out.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, startling him again. He looked down, surprised to see another text from Sid. He hastily unlocked his phone to read it.

_Good night, Zhenya. You too)_

Geno smiled dumbly at his phone for a while, reading the text a few more times before he sighed at himself and set the phone down. He hadn’t felt like this since he was a teenager, and Alina...

Alina had made him feel like this, too...the fluttering in his chest, the idiotic smiles...It was a little different, sure, because like his mother used to say, you never quite love two people the same way...and once Geno had understood how he felt about Alina, he hadn’t really held himself back from pursuing her.

He’d met her in first grade...she was a girl in his group at school, and Russian school groups stay together through all 12 years. At first, he didn’t pay much attention to her. He had his friends and his brother to play hockey with—he didn’t have time for _girls_. But one day, after he’d already been in school for four years, he and his brother had come to the rink early for hockey practice, and Denis had left the locker room, walking over to the ice to watch the figure skaters train for their show. Geno had walked out after him, ready to tease his brother for watching the _girls_ , but before he could, he noticed her...

Alina had been wearing a white skating dress that day, with a frilly skirt and sparkling designs that ran diagonally across her chest. She was working on her swizzles, struggling a bit to get four in a row like she needed to for the show. She looked like she was upset, and then Geno heard her coach telling her that she looked like a clumsy stork, telling her to try again. Geno had been offended for her, because to him, she looked like an angel learning how to fly.

Geno watched her coach berate and belittle her, getting more and more upset by the second, and he was just about ready to march his little 10-year-old butt onto the ice to give that coach a piece of his mind when his brother grabbed his arm and told him it was time to get ready. He remembered glancing back at Alina as he walked back to the locker room with his brother, and had been startled to notice that she was looking right back at him.

He’d talked to her at lunch the next day at school, telling her not to take what her coach said to heart. He told her that coaches didn’t really mean those things. She smiled at him when he said he wished they wouldn’t talk to their students like that. She’d told him she agreed and hugged him. Geno had gone home that night feeling ten feet tall. He and Alina were best friends after that, and went skating together whenever they could.

Geno was always amazed by what she could do...spins, jumps, lunges, spirals...He admitted it to her one day when they were 11, that he thought she was a way better skater than he was. She just laughed at him and told him that he was a good hockey skater. She told him they both needed separate skills, and that he shouldn’t compare the two styles because they were so different. She later admitted to him that she envied the spontaneity and freedom he had to do whatever he needed to during a game, whereas she had to remember a long series of steps, and practice them until they were perfect.

It was only after years of coming early for hockey practice so he could watch her skate that he really understood just how much he cared about her. He remembers being 15 years old (standing in the same place he’d stood watching her on that day when he was 10 years old), watching her land beautiful jumps. When she had gotten six perfect swizzles in a row, he had been so proud of her, he was nearly moved to tears...his angel had learned how to fly. His brother had come up behind him and laughed at him, telling him he should just ask her out already. Geno remembers feeling dumb, like he should have thought of that first.

He probably should have waited to ask her out until after she got back from the olympics, but...it just sort of...came out when they were walking away from the ticket counter at the airport. She’d looked at him with wide eyes, then smiled at him and kissed him. Geno had never tasted anything so sweet. She promised him that they would go to dinner after she came back, and kissed him one more time before leaving him standing there and running to join her fellow figure skaters.

Five years later, Geno asked her to marry him. At the time, she laughed at him and said no. She told him they were too young. Geno had felt crestfallen until she put her arms around him and admitted to him that she wasn’t ready yet. She kissed him sweetly and asked if he would wait for her, and Geno told her yes, he would wait forever if he had to. Six years later, right after she’d won her third gold medal, she surprised him by proposing to him herself.

They had already talked at length about wanting a family, and agreed that they wanted to wait until they had their own apartment before they started trying. They’d had their apartment for one year when, one cold February morning, Alina walked into the kitchen, smiling like she had a secret. Geno had smiled and put his arms around her waist, asking her to tell him what she was hiding. She’d leaned in, put her arms around his neck, and whispered into his ear,

_“Жен...я беременна.”  
_ _[Zhen...I’m pregnant.]_

It sent a shiver through his spine even now...he could still hear her laugh like it was yesterday, remembering how he'd picked her up and twirled her around in their little kitchen. They’d been trying for so long...and he was so happy to know he was going to be a father soon.

Nine months later, he and Alina had gone to the movies late at night...her water broke just as they were leaving, and Geno had excitedly rushed her to the car. He might have been speeding a bit when he entered the intersection, but he doesn’t remember how fast he was going, because another car plowed right through the red light just then, smashing into the passenger’s side of his car...

Geno slid down to sit on the floor of his bathroom, tears streaming down his cheeks. Maybe if he had been going just _a little bit faster_...No. It was dangerous to think about that right now. The wounds on his body may have healed, but the ones in his heart still felt fresh. Geno furiously wiped at his eyes. How could love ever be worth it if it was always this _painful_?

Geno sighed and sniffed. He knew deep down that, if he didn’t let go...if he didn’t let himself feel something for someone else, he would never love again. And now that he realised he felt something for Sid? He knew that the pain of holding himself back, not taking the chances he longed to take...might even be worse.

But...was he ready to take that step?

That...he didn’t know.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid found himself lost in thought for the third time that morning. He was sure he was imagining it, but...Geno had seemed...almost affectionate last night. He’d winked at him after opening his gift...put his arm around him during the game...asked him to text him so he knew he got home safe...fussed over his coat as he was leaving...

Sid sighed and turned around in his chair to look out over the Montréal skyline. It was already a grey, drizzly day, and the clouds were so low, he couldn’t see the top of the building across from theirs.

Those things...were more that what a friend would usually do, right? Well, at least, they were in Sid’s experience. Maybe it was just him, but...Sid had never had a friend who made him...feel like this before.

Sid looked down at his phone as it started buzzing loudly against the glass top of his desk, surprised that it hadn’t startled him that day.

He smiled at Geno’s picture and answered the phone.

“Good morning, Zhenya!”

“ _Good morning, Sid!_ ”

“How are you?”

“ _I_...” Geno hesitated. “ _I’m tired_ ,” he admitted. “ _Not...sleep so good last night_.”

“Oh,” Sid said, suddenly feeing a little worried. “I’m sorry to hear that...”

“ _It’s ok, Sid, I just take nap same time as Lyosh today,_ ” Geno said. “ _Feel myself better when I wake up._ ”

“That sounds like an excellent plan,” Sid said. Geno seemed nonchalant about it, but Sid couldn’t help worrying at least a little, remembering the sadness flashing behind Geno’s eyes at the park yesterday.

“ _So, uh, Sid...I have interview today, 7:30...you can watch Lyosh tonight?_ ”

Sid smiled. “Yeah, for sure!”

“ _Здорово! I make dinner again and then go, like before. It’s ok?_ ” Geno said, sounding a little relieved.

“Sure, that’s perfect,” Sid said. “I can probably get there around 5:45 today, how’s that?”

“ _It’s perfect, Sid, thank you,_ ” Geno said, his voice warm. Sid couldn’t help smiling at how warm Geno’s voice made him feel when he talked like that.

Sid suddenly heard Lyosha let out an indignant sound. Geno chuckled a little.

“What happened?” Sid asked with a smile.

“ _He’s angry I stop let him eat strawberry this morning,_ ” Geno said quietly to Sid, like he was sharing a secret. “ _If I let him eat more, it’s like...nightmare when I’m change him._ ”

Sid laughed. “Oh, I can imagine.”

Lyosha let out a whine, and Sid heard him say, “ _Aba! Da uubi!!_ ”

“ _Ну, сынок, ешь эти крекеры, ладушки? Полезные для здоровья!_ ” Geno hesitated, then chuckled. “ _I don’t know why I tell him crackers good for him, he don’t care_...”

Sid smiled warmly when he heard a little crunching sound.

“ _Во-от! Вот молодец! Вот хорошенький! Правильно питаешься!_ ” Geno said, lauding his son for his choices. “ _Ok, Sid, I see you...5:45? 6?_ ”

“Yeah, best case scenario, 5:45,” Sid confirmed.

“ _Great! Ok...Lyosh! Sid придёт сегодня вечером! Скажи ему, до скорой встречи!_ ”

Geno moved the phone, and Sid heard a little breath and a crunching sound. A wave of fondness washed over him and he smiled.

“Bye bye, Lyosha, I’ll see you tonight, ok bud?”

When Lyosha heard Sid’s voice, he let out a squeal of joy.

“ _Deniy? Niiy!! Aniiy!!!_ ”

Sid was now positive that Lyosh recognised his voice over the phone. Which was amazing...he’d never heard of that happening to anyone else before. Tears stung his eyes, and he suddenly ached to hug Lyosh. Just like that lady at the Laguardia airport had warned, Sid missed Lyosh so much all the time...but Sid supposed it was worth it for moments like this.

“ _Okay, Sid,_ ” Geno said as he returned the phone to his ear, “ _See you tonight, ok?_ ” His voice was soft, like he was watching Lyosha do something adorable.

“See you tonight, Zhenya,” Sid replied, again unable to stop himself from matching Geno’s volume and tone.

Hanging up was always his least favourite part of his conversations with Geno. It suddenly occurred to him that he’d been talking to Geno more than he’d been talking to his own mother lately. Well, Geno did seem to like to call him every day...Which was nice, Sid liked feeling connected to him and Lyosh. Still, it was strange to speak to someone more than his own mother, who was arguably the closest to him.

Sid absently opened his next email and read through it. It was a routine work order for a systems update...it was in Montréal, which was nice...but when Sid’s attention snagged on the name of the company, his heart dropped.

It was the company where his ex-girlfriend Jessica worked. And the requisition was from her floor.

Sid sat there, wondering what to do, an uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach. He never handed clients off to his fellow hardware logistics technicians...a practice he considered to be lazy and unprofessional...but then he’d never been faced with this dilemma, either. He considered his options for a moment before gritting his teeth and responding to the e-mail.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was so anxious to get out of his office when 5:00 rolled around that he’d stood up, packed up, and was out of the door promptly after he’d watched the digital clock on his computer change from 4:59:59 to 5:00:00.

Sidney’d had a bad taste in his mouth ever since he’d responded to that e-mail from the company where his ex-girlfriend worked. He couldn't shake the thought that he should have gone against his own personal rules and just handed this one off to someone else...It’s not like he hadn’t taken more than his fair share of other people’s unwanted clients in the past. His coworkers may have even been happy to take one from him, but he was too stubborn and superstitious to do that. It may have been a different thing if he didn’t feel like passing this one off wouldn’t have a native affect on his success at the next game they played, or on his integrity as a person. He had already stubbornly decided he was going to grit his teeth, go to Jessica’s building tomorrow, just do his job, and get it over with.

Maybe he would get lucky and he wouldn’t even see her. Sid sighed. The work order was for her floor, though...Sid saw the grimace on his face in his reflection as he unlocked his car. He hoped she’d quit, or moved out of her old department, or that she’d call in sick tomorrow...something. Anything so that he wouldn’t have to see her. 

The last time they’d spoken left Sid feeling insufferably livid, and he’d gone to the rink and shot pucks at the goal so hard that he’d nearly broken two of his sticks and a panel of glass.

He knew that this was the kind of thing he should let go...the kind of thing that would only cause him stress, but he didn’t quite know how to stop feeling these negative feelings when he thought of her. He started his car and pulled out of his space at the company parking garage. He’d at least been able to be civil with her before, so he knew that he could do it tomorrow....provided, of course, she played nice.

Sid sighed. He needed to be able to be civil with her even if she wasn’t civil back, so he supposed that tomorrow could go one of two ways: either he wouldn’t see her and there would be no problems whatsoever, or he would see her, she’d be her usual catty self, and he would have to force himself to be strong enough to ignore her.

It had the potential to be a real hard lesson in self-control.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was nervous as he found himself on the outside of Geno’s door, waiting for him to answer. He checked his watch. 5:51. Okay, so his estimation had been off by a bit. He shifted the box of strawberries he was holding into his right hand and ran his left through his hair.

Sid heard a sound behind the door, and he was unprepared for how Geno looked when he finally opened it. Geno had his hair neatly slicked back, like he had for his first interview, but he was wearing a more casual look than before; the first two buttons on his white dress shirt were unbuttoned, and a dark purple apron covered most of his shirt and black slacks. He was holding a wooden spoon. Sid wasn’t sure why, but his mouth suddenly felt dry.

“Sid! Hi, come in, please!” Geno smiled and stepped aside, letting Sid walk in.

“Oh, you bring those for Lyosh?” Geno asked, smiling and pointing at the box of strawberries with the wooden spoon.

Sid smiled and looked down at the box. “Yeah, I did...”

“Makes him so happy,” Geno chuckled and shook his head. “But, uhh... _you_ have to change him.”

Sidney laughed. “Don’t worry,” he said as he toed off his shoes. “You’ll be at your interview by the time he needs that...”

Geno laughed and took the strawberries to the kitchen, leaving Sid sitting there wondering...why were Geno’s interviews at night? What was he interviewing for?

“Hey, Zhenya?” Sid asked as he walked into the kitchen. Something smelled wonderful...

“Hmm?” came Geno’s response from where he was stirring something in a pan on the stove.

“Why, uh...why are all your interviews at night?”

Geno seemed to freeze for half a second, and it was so quick, Sid almost didn’t catch it. Then Geno shrugged a shoulder.

“Best time,” he said nonchalantly with a glance over his shoulder.

“Oh...ok...” Sid was curious, but he decided not to press too much. No matter how much Sid wanted his relationship with Geno to be more, it wasn’t. They were just friends, so...Geno had the right to some privacy.

“Dinner’s ready soon, Sid, I’m just...finish this, uh...very quick,” Geno said, settling whatever was in the pan by shaking it a bit. “I tell you when it’s ready...”

“Ok,” Sid said over his shoulder as he walked back into the sitting room, where he’d seen Lyosh playing in his little playpen. When Lyosha saw him, he squealed and sat up, reaching out to Sid.

“Niiy!! Aniiy!!”

“Ohh, hey there, little buddy!” Sid said, picking Lyosh up. “Did you miss me?”

Lyosha giggled, then made some bubbles with his mouth and giggled some more. Sid chuckled and picked up Lyosh’s little blanket, wiping the drool off his chin.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” he said.

Lyosha giggled and laid his head on Sid’s shoulder, curling his little arms around Sid’s neck and sighing. Sid felt a wave of fondness crash over him and he had to stand there for a moment before he’d gathered himself.

“Ok, Sid!” Geno called from the kitchen. “It’s ready!”

Sid smiled and walked back into the kitchen with Lyosha on his chest.

“What’d you make today?” he asked.

“Hope you like mushroom,” Geno said, shovelling something that smelled fabulous onto a plate on the table. “This is fried potato and mushroom with chicken.”

“Sounds fantastic...” Sid’s mouth had already started to water at the appetising smell.

“Please, Sid, sit! Uh...I’m not have time for make soup tonight, but...I have extra bread...” Geno said, turning back to set down the pan and grab the extra bread he’d made the night before off the counter. He set it on the table and looked around, pointing and muttering to himself as he made sure he had set everything out.

“ _Итак...тарелки, вилки, салфеточки, вода, салатик, клубника, курица с грибами, хлеб, соль, масл–...так, а где масло?_ ”

Sid sat and smiled at Geno as he turned on his heel and went digging around in his refrigerator. He popped back over to the table a second later with a butter dish in his hands.

“Okay,” Geno said, setting the butter on the table as he sat down. “ _Всё. Пора жрать._ ”

The way Geno relaxed into his chair made it look like it was the first time he’d sat down all day.

“You look like you’ve...had a busy day...” Sid commented as he picked up his fork.

Geno looked like he thought that was an understatement and nodded exaggeratedly. “Oh my god, Sid...so...you know I’m not sleep good last night, yeah?” 

“Mhmm,” Sid hummed an affirmative as he took a bite of the mushroom chicken Geno had made. It was so delicious, Sid had to physically stop himself from saying “mmm” out loud.

“Well, I take a nap with Lyosh, but he sleep longer than usually?” Geno laughed and covered his face with his hand. “Sid, I wake up only one hour ago! I wake up, and I see what time is it, and I’m like, oh my _god_ , I have to _shower_ , make _dinner_ , _Sid’s_ come soon, _oh my god_!”

He laughed, and Sid couldn’t help laughing with him.

“ _В общем_...I’m, like...little bit...freak out? So I put Lyosh in his bouncy chair and take shower, and get dress, you know, very fast! And then I’m like, oh my god, what I’m...make for dinner? But I remember, I have mushrooms and chickens and potatoes, so...I make something my mama make for me when I’m little.”

“Oh, your mom used to make this for you?” Sid asked, nudging his plate just out of Lyosh’s reach.

“Yeah, when she need something fast,” Geno said, then he chuckled. “Russian fast food...”

Sid chuckled, too, then he reached for the diced strawberries and put some on a little plate, which he put within Lyosh’s reach. Lyosha made a happy sound and reached for some of the strawberry bits, immediately shoving as many as he could into his mouth. Thankfully, Sid had anticipated that and had only put a few pieces onto Lyosh’s plate at a time, so he wouldn’t choke himself on his new favourite food.

“I like better when it’s in vareniki, but I don’t have time for make them,” Geno said, looking at the food on his fork before putting it into his mouth.

Sid thought he knew what vareniki were, but he wasn’t quite sure, so he asked Geno.

“Vareniki? It’s like...little...you know...like pocket with...s—food inside?” Geno looked frustrated. “I don’t know how...explain you...uhh... _погоди_...I show you picture...” Geno held up an index finger and then took another bite. He put down his fork, got his phone out, and tapped on his screen for a moment. Then he said, “ah”, tapped something, and flipped the phone around so Sid could see.

“Oh! Okay, yeah,” Sid said. Vareniki were like the Russian version of pot stickers, only they were usually boiled, not fried, and served with sour cream.

“You ever eat vareniki, Sid?” Geno asked.

Sid shook his head. “No, unfortunately.”

Geno looked appalled and shook his head. “ _Бедный_ Sid! I make you some one day, promise. With potato. Best kind.”

Sid smiled. “Thanks, I’d like that!”

The two ate in silence for a little while after that, and Sid made sure not to give Lyosh more strawberry bits than what would equal two little strawberries. Sid was glad to have the distraction, actually, because it stopped him from shovelling all of the mushroom chicken into his mouth right away.

“So, Sid,” Geno said, putting a little helping of salted cabbage salad onto his plate. “How’s your day today?”

Sid hesitated, his face falling a bit. He wasn’t sure if he should mention Jessica and ruin the mood, but...talking about it might make him feel better...

“Sid? You ok?” Geno put down his fork. “What happen?”

“It’s...no big deal really, I just...” he looked up at Geno, who still looked concerned and was giving him a questioning look.

Sid sighed. “I have to....go to my ex-girlfriend’s building tomorrow to install updated hardware, and I’m...I’m really not looking forward to it,” he admitted.

“Oh...” Geno looked disappointed for him.

Sid shook his head. “I...you know, this probably wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t...where we’d met.”

Geno gave him another questioning look, so Sid decided to elaborate.

“I met Jessica at that same office building four years ago,” he began. “She...well, I was installing some new computers and other hardware like that, when she came up and...asked me if I wanted a coffee or something...”

Sid glanced up at Geno, worried he was oversharing, but Geno looked interested in what he had to say and nodded, silently encouraging him to continue.

“Well...when I looked up at her, I...thought she was the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen...” Sid paused, looking thoughtful. “She was wearing a...like...I guess...sunburst-orange dress and...” Sid trailed off, remembering just how she’d smiled at him when he’d looked up at her...her cheeks had flushed a little and she’d looked pleasantly startled at how attractive she found him. Sid frowned. It was painful to think about that.

“Sid?” Geno said softly. Sid looked up at him and was surprised to see interest and concern on Geno’s face.

“...she smiled at me,” Sid continued. “I...it was the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen, so...so I asked her out. And...well...we started dating, and uh...she moved into my apartment during our first year together, and...well,” Sid cleared his throat. “Well, you know the rest.”

Sid bounced Lyosha on his leg and tried not to think about how beautiful she’d looked on the day they’d met.

Geno made a knowing sound. “So...you scared that, when you go in building, you see all these places, remind you of happy times with her...but...if you see her, you just fight again?”

Sid nodded. “Exactly.”

“Hmmm...” Geno said, nodding. “It’s hard...” he looked up at Sid. “You... _have_ to go?”

Sid just nodded.

“ _Понятно_...” Geno said, looking down. He thought for a moment, and then said, “I can...call you tomorrow, Sid? Bother you while you work?” He smiled a little with his tongue between his teeth.

Sid blinked at Geno. He hadn’t expected that at all.

“You know, Sid...maybe she not bother you if she see you talk on the phone?”

Sid thought for a moment. He did had a headset he could use while he worked...

“I...like that idea,” he said, smiling lopsidedly at Geno. “I like that idea a lot!”

Geno smiled, wide and warm, at Sid, and Sid’s own smile got wider. Sid could have sworn Geno was blushing, but he couldn’t say for sure, because just then, Geno’s reminder alarm went off and he snapped his gaze down at his phone. Geno turned off the alarm and hopped up, shovelling his last two bites of mushroom chicken into his mouth and setting his plate and silverware in the sink.

Sid stood up with Lyosha when he saw Geno grab a sponge and wet it under the tap.

“Zhenya, Zhenya, don’t worry about the dishes! I got it!” Sid said, resting a hand on Geno’s shoulder before he realised what he was doing.

Geno looked at him, surprised, still chewing his food, and then looked generally relieved. He hummed, smiled at him as much as he could with his mouth full, flashed him a thumbs up, and untied the apron, running and hanging it on a hook near the pantry. Then he ran toward the bedroom, buttoning his shirt as he went.

Sid laughed and shook his head, then went and sat back down to finish his own food.

“Your papa is an...interesting man,” Sid told Lyosha.

“Beesh!” Lyosha said, then giggled.

Sid laughed and finished his mushroom chicken, then took a little helping of the salted cabbage salad, since he hadn’t tried it yet.

“Okay, Sid, I already give Lyosha is bottle before you get here, so starberry enough for him tonight...uh, I—he already eat enough, I mean,” Geno said, walking back into the kitchen as he buttoned his waistcoat.

“Ok,” Sid shouldn’t have looked up at him, because he looked so good, it made his heart twist.

Geno grabbed a piece of bread and smeared a little butter on it with Sid’s knife, then stuffed it in his mouth and walked over to the coat rack where he’d hung up his suit jacket.

“Mm, Sid?” Geno said, taking the piece of bread out of his mouth after he’d gotten his jacket on. “Don’t worry so much about dishes! You can put in dishwasher if you want, and leave everything there! I can put away dishes later!”

“Ok,” Sid said. Before he knew what he was doing, he was getting up with Lyosha and walking towards Geno.

Geno stuffed the piece of bread in his mouth again as he put on his overcoat, and when Sid got closer with Lyosha, he smiled around the bread and took it out of his mouth, licking some stray butter of his lips before leaning down to kiss his son on the forehead.

“ _Пока-пока, жизнь моя_ ,” Geno cooed at Lyosh before he hugged Sid sideways, being careful not to squish Lyosh or get butter from his bread on Sid.

“Ok, bye, Sid, see you soon,” Geno said, before stuffing the piece of bread back in his mouth and actually taking a bite this time.

Sid felt warm all over. “Bye, Zhenya, have a good interview,” he said as Geno smiled at him around the bread and walked out the door.

Sid sighed as he shut it behind him. That had felt...normal and...so very _domestic_. Sid stood by the door for a moment, trying to collect himself. He wondered if Geno had noticed it, too.

Sid shook his head and went looking for Lyosha’s bouncy chair. He remembered Geno saying that he’d put Lyosha there while he took a shower, so he looked in the bathroom, and sure enough, there it was. He put Lyosha in it and rolled it into the kitchen, putting it near the table so he could watch Lyosh while he finished his food. Lyosha really liked his bouncy chair. Sid smiled and watched him bounce and make gleeful noises.

When Sid had finished eating, he put away the leftover bread and cabbage salad, and returned the butter to the fridge. Then, he cleared the rest of the dishes off the table and put them into the sink. He reached for the handle on the dishwasher, and then he hesitated. There weren’t many dishes at all...definitely not enough for a dishwasher load, so he rolled up his sleeves and washed them all by hand, keeping an eye on Lyosh as he did.

After he’d washed the dishes, he guessed he had time to dry them and put them away...he looked around the kitchen. He didn’t know where everything was supposed to go, but he’d seen Geno get the dishes out a few times, so he had a general idea. He dried all the silverware and found the drawer where they were kept on the second try. The plates were easy...Sid had seen Geno get them out of the first upper cabinet to the left of the sink. The pan was a different story, and it took Sid nearly ten minutes to figure out where it was supposed to go. But in the process, he’d found the tea and mugs, so he wasn’t really complaining.

He got out some tea and was about to make it in the microwave when the coffee maker he’d brought for Geno caught his eye, and he stood there for a moment, contemplating something. He found himself opening the refrigerator in search of milk, and poured some in the little metal pitcher that came with the coffee maker. He made his tea and steamed the milk, pouring it into his cup like he’d done so many times before.

He decided to let his tea cool for a little while, and went to pick Lyosh up out of his bouncy chair. He wheeled the thing back into the bathroom and was about to walk out when he heard Lyosh make a little grunt that could only mean one thing.

Sid laughed. “It’s a good thing you did that before I left the bathroom, bud,” he said, turning around and heading for the cabinets to get a fresh diaper.

When he’d gotten Lyosha changed and had washed up himself, he walked back into the kitchen to grab his tea. He somehow managed to take a sip without Lyosha knocking it out of his hands or spilling it, which was a plus, and it turned out to be just the right temperature.

Sid sat Lyosha down in his little playpen, jingling his little keys for him. Lyosha grabbed them and immediately started chewing on them, making his funny little noises and cracking himself up. Sid sat back and watched him play as he drank his tea.

Soon, Lyosh’s little eyes got droopy and his playing slowed down. Sid smiled and picked Lyosh up as he yawned and dropped his little keys.

“Come here, bud... _idi siuda_...” Sid said in a soft voice as he held Lyosh to his chest and sat back down on the couch. He rubbed Lyosh’s back and started humming again for him. This time, with a tune in mind—the same one he’d had in his head the day before—and he let himself sing a bit of it as he rocked Lyosh to sleep.

“ _Ну зачем же этот день кончается...пусть бы он тянулся целый год..._ ”

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was jolted out of his sleep when he heard the key turn in the door, but this time, there was no confusion as to where he was. He stretched his legs out in front of him and stood up just as Geno opened the door.

“Hi, Zhenya,” Sid greeted him, his voice a little sleep-rough.

“Hi, Sid...” Geno stood by the door again this time, seeming to hesitate for a second before toeing off his shoes and hanging up his overcoat and jacket.

Sid picked up his empty cup and brought it into the kitchen, hearing the sounds of Geno following behind him.

Sid rinsed out his cup as Geno opened the dishwasher and made a sound.

“Sid...where’s the dishes?”

“There...weren’t really enough for a load, so I hand washed them and put them away,” Sid admitted.

Geno walked up next to him and snagged the sponge before Sid could even think about it, and stealing Sid’s cup right out of his hands. “Sid, it’s fine, I can get it...”

“Thank you,” Sid smiled as he stood back and watched Geno wash his tea cup.

Geno smiled, and gave Sid a sideways glance. “You know, because you so amazing...”

Sid made a face at that and laughed.

“ _Because you so amazing_ ,” Geno said louder, “You _have_ to take money I give you tonight and _not_ give back. Deal?”

Geno gave Sid a pointed look and stared at him until he agreed.

“Alright, fine,” Sid said.

Geno set the cup to dry on the rack and he and Sid walked Lyosha into the hallway towards his bedroom.

“I’ve already changed Lyosh,” Sid said.

“Oh, thank you, Sid,” Geno said, sounding a little relieved he didn't have to deal with the aftermath of too many strawberries.

They walked into Lyosh’s bedroom and Sid laid him down in his crib while Geno grabbed Lyosh’s polar bear. He made the bear dance over Lyosh again, and Lyosha smiled before grabbing the bear and hugging him close. Then Geno leaned down and kissed his son goodnight, then turned on Lyosh’s new night light, said goodnight in Russian, and he and Sidney left the room.

Sid felt warm at just how...familiar this all felt. He didn’t want to leave, but a nagging thought at the back of his head kept reminding him that this was Geno’s house, and he was just the babysitter.

“Uh, Sid?” Geno said as they were passing by the kitchen.

“Hmm?” Sid looked back at Geno over his shoulder. Geno had stopped next to the counter.

“You can tell me how you...programme coffee maker?” Geno asked.

“Oh, yeah, sure...” Sid turned around and walked over to the coffee maker. Geno stepped in close next to him.

“So, first you hit this button—this is the programme button. Next, see the display? It’s gonna ask you for an hour, so...hit this button, uh...what time do you want the coffee to be ready by?”

Geno looked thoughtful. “7 morning?”

“Okay...” Sid hit the button until the display read ‘7 AM’. “Then you just...hit the programme button again, and...” Sid hit the button and the coffee maker beeped. “Okay, it’s done.”

Geno smiled at him, that warm glint back in his eye. “Thanks, Sid.”

Sid averted his eyes and turned to walk to the coat rack. “It’s no problem, Zhenya.”

Sid put his shoes back on and reached for his coat on the rack. Geno stood there quietly, like he was lost in thought. Sid looked up at him as he put his coat on, wondering what he was thinking about.

“Bye, Zhenya,” Sid said, leaning forward to hug Geno. Sid might have imagined it, but Geno seemed to hug him tighter that night.

“Bye, Sid,” Geno said into Sid’s shoulder.

Sid reluctantly broke the hug and started to turn to leave.

“Oh! Sid! Wait!” Geno said, catching his shoulder.

Sid turned around, maybe a little too eagerly, to see Geno reaching into his pocket. He took out some bills and stuffed them into Sid’s coat pocket. Sid stood there for a moment, then reached for his pocket.

“No...wait,” Geno said, staying his hand with his own. Sid’s hand felt like it was burning where Geno’s was touching his. Geno's voice was low and gentle. “You know, I’m not take any back, ok? So...wait until you leave before you look.”

It took some time and self control, but Sid eventually took his hand away from his pocket...and away from Geno’s hand.

Geno opened the door. “See you soon, Sid?” His voice sounding hopeful as ever, and making Sid smile.

“See you, Zhenya,” Sid said.

In the elevator, Sid looked at the bills Geno had given him, and nearly choked on nothing. There was $250 dollars in all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, everyone! Guess who's been doing some stress writing! ^.^; I know a lot of you were voicing some concern at who would be watching Lyosha while Geno drove Sid home, and...I guess I couldn't quite leave y'all guessing. I'm honoured that you're all so concerned for Lyosh! I guess that means my writing really is touching your lives)
> 
> I hope this part answers the question about "Will there be more pining?" OH yes. You might have noticed that some of my favourite tropes are 'slow burn', 'idiots in love', and 'will they or won't they'. This is also officially the slowest slow burn I have written for any fandom or pairing, so...that's where we're at)))
> 
> As usual, I'd love to hear what your favourite parts are! And if there are any glaring grammar mistakes, feel free to bring them to my attention so I can fix them!
> 
> Thanks for reading, guys! I don't know when I'll get the next part out, but if my life stays this stressful, it may be sooner than I think...  
> -M


	5. No Pain, No Gain

Sid took a deep breath before stepping through the double doors at Heureuse & co. He felt calm. He knew he was strong. He could _do_ this.

He noticed as he walked over to the department manager’s office that not much had really changed since he’d last been there almost five years ago. The layout of the cubicles was still the same, the tall plant they had by the elevator was still there, and although they had a fancy new water dispenser, it was exactly where the old water cooler used to be.

But one thing was completely different. When Sid knocked on the department manager’s door, waiting patiently until someone opened it, a dark surprise met him on the other side. She flipped her long blonde hair before looking up at him, darkly surprised herself.

“Jess-...Jessica,” Sid breathed, a painful feeling stabbing into his ribs. She was still just as beautiful as he remembered her. He’d expected seeing her to be easier somehow, like he’d just stop being attracted to her after being apart from her for so long...but he could tell, he’d been wrong. It was hard to forget almost four years of gentle touches and smiles...mind blowing sex...

“Sidney...what are _you_ doing here?” she asked, squinting at him.

“...I’m here to install your hardware updates,” Sid said in his most professional voice, willing himself to be calm.

She raised a brow and looked him over.

“Oh...you’re _still_ doing that? I’d thought you would have moved on to a _real_ job by now,” she said with a smirk, brushing past him out of her office and leading him to a pile of boxes in the corner of the floor near the copy area. She put a hand on her hip. “I guess managerial-type positions are too much for you, hm? Or is it just that you still have no time for anything else except your stupid video game?”

She turned to face him with that stupid smirk still on her face. Sid didn’t think that comment deserved a response, so he took a breath and willed himself to keep going. He had dealt with worse. He’d literally done his job at gunpoint before. He should have no problem doing it now.

“What do you need me to do today?” he asked, still trying to keep his voice within the margins of the most pleasant professional tone he could muster. 

She smirked like she thought she’d won and turned to gesture at the boxes on the floor.

“Here’s the new equipment. The monitors in the cubicles that we’ve marked with yellow paint dots need replacing,” she said, her tone somehow making the simple statement grate on his nerves. “And the computers with the green paint dots as well.”

“I’ll get started on that right away,” Sid said, swallowing back his urge to add a _ma’am_ to that, which he knew she’d absolutely hate. He got out his box cutter and squatted down to open the boxes.

He expected her to walk off after that, but she stayed next to him, watching him open the boxes and set up his testing monitor. After a few moments, he couldn’t help glancing up at her. 

 _Don’t you have any work to do in your fancy new managerial position, or do you still like to stand around and watch other people do all the work?_ He didn’t say. “Is there...something I can do for you?” he asked instead.

“No, I’m fine, thank you,” she said, still wearing that awful smirk. She folded her arms, settling herself comfortably on top of a low, horizontal filing cabinet and crossing her legs. She was certainly giving no indication that she was planning on leaving any time soon.

Sid resisted the urge to roll his eyes and took another breath, arranging the equipment around him in a way that it could all be easily reached. Jessica continued to watch him as he completed the power checks on all the equipment, and began the software tests. Her presence alone was starting to grate on his nerves and he couldn’t seem to help glancing up at her a few times.

“So...what are you doing these days, anything new?” Jessica finally said, examining her nails. “Or are you still obsessed with playing hockey and doing nothing worthwhile with your life?”

A muscle in Sidney’s jaw clenched. He didn’t understand why she felt compelled to antagonise him almost every time she opened her mouth. He took a breath. He was strong enough to ignore her. He could _do_ this.

When he hadn’t answered her in what she considered to be a timely manner, Jessica leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hey, um, you are allowed to... _talk_ to people while you do your work, aren’t you?”

“If I said no, would you go away?” Sid muttered, not looking up from his work. He was kinda hoping she hadn’t heard him, but her response suggested otherwise.

“Ok, wow, you don’t have to be so _rude_ about it!”

Sid couldn’t help scoffing, smiling and shaking his head. It was just funny how ironic she could be at times.

“Okay, ma–... _Miss Deveraux,_ ” Sid caught himself. “Do you need anything else from me, or may I continue with my work?”

She squinted at him. “Did you almost just call me ma’a—”

Suddenly, Sidney’s phone started buzzing in his pocket, interrupting her. A smile spread across his face and he glanced up at Jessica.

“Excuse me, I need to take this,” Sid said, feeling much more smug than he had any right to be as he hit the answer button on his headset.

“Hi, Zhenya,” Sidney answered with a big smile on his face, looking back down at the test in progress on the monitor he was checking. He had time, it was only 12% complete.

“ _Hi, Sid! Good morning!_ ” Geno said, an obvious smile in his voice. “ _You at work?_ ”

“Yeah, I got here a little while ago,” Sid said, not noticing Jessica squinting down at him.

Geno hummed. “ _Okay, good, good. How it’s going?_ ”

Sid took half a moment to think about it. “It’s...nothing I can’t handle,” he said, glancing at Jessica. She was eyeing him suspiciously.

A smile spread over Sid’s face as he heard Lyosha make an indignant sound. “How’s Lyosha this morning?”

Geno chuckled. “ _He still think, I should give him more strawberry..._ _Да_ _,_ _Лёш_ _?_ ”

Warmth flooded Sid’s chest and he smiled when he heard Lyosha’s little whine over the phone.

“ _I think you don’t nee–..._ _Ну,_ _ладненько_ _,_ _хулиган_ _,_ _на_ _тебе_ _..._ _ещё_ _клубнику_ _..._ ” Geno muttered. 

Geno must have given Lyosh more strawberry bits, because Lyosha squealed happily and Sid heard soft little chewing noises.

“ _He... **make** me do that,_ ” Geno said, letting out a dramatically faux put-upon sigh. “ _Своими...миленькими глазами..._ ”

“Yeah,” Sid laughed, his heart full. “ _Sure_ he did...”

Geno laughed, too, then said, “ _You want say hi, Sid? You not too busy?_ ”

Sid looked at the progress on the screen. 27%. “Yeah, I can say hi real quick...”

“ _Ok, really quick, 1 minute,_ ” Geno said, a smile in his voice. Sid heard him move the phone and his heart melted when he heard Lyosh’s soft little breath and chewing noises.

“Hi, bud!” Sid cooed. “How’s my favourite little boy today?”

Lyosh’s delighted squeal was piercing, but it had Sid grinning from ear to ear anyway. How did Lyosh recognise his voice?

“ _Aniiy!! Niiy! Nnaniiy!!_ ”

“Hii, buddy! Hi!!” Sid chuckled. “I miss you!”

 “ _Niiy-niiy-na-na-na!!!_ ” Lyosh exclaimed happily, then giggled.

Sid laughed. His chest felt so full, it felt like it might burst.

Geno was laughing softly, too, as he brought the phone back to his ear. “ _So cute, Lyosh..._ ” he said, trailing off like he was lost in thought. Then he said, “ _Ah, Sid, I want...thank you for coffee maker! I use this morning, and it’s perfect!_ ”

“Oh, good! I’m glad you like it,” Sid said, resisting the urge to glance up at Jessica. 

“ _I...it’s make lots coffee, though, Sid..._ ” Geno said, his voice getting softer. “ _It’s hard for me...drink so much coffee alone._ ”

Sidney blinked, his face heating a bit. “Oh...yeah it, uh...it does mak—”

“ _This morning, I wish you here, so you can...help me drink,_ ” Geno interrupted in a low voice, almost sounding like he was admitting something secret.

“Yeah, I...wish I could be there, too...” Sid blurted out in the same low tone. Oh...Was that _too_ familiar?? Sid knew his face must be bright red. He started to backtrack. “Uh, you know...s-so I c—”

“ _You want, I...bring you coffee, Sid?_ ” Geno interrupted.

A chill ran up Sid’s spine and his heart rate shot up. Geno sounded hopeful in that way that made Sid’s heart twist, and he had to fight every fibre of his being to decline Geno’s offer.

“Oh, uh, that’s...that’s thoughtful of you, Zhenya, but, uh...don’t worry about it, ok?” Sid said, decidedly sure that he was _not_ ready to see his crush and his ex in the same room.

Geno hummed. “ _...No coffee, Sid?_ ”

Sid couldn’t tell if Geno was disappointed or not.

“No, thanks, I...I don’t have time for a coffee break today, but, uh...” Sid smiled and added in a sensual voice, “Thanks for thinking of me.”

Geno was quiet for a moment, and an icy feeling stabbed itself into Sid’s side. _Oh no_. Had he just crossed a line?

“ _Oh...Ok, зайчик...so...when I'm see you next? You want...come visit tonight? Watch hockey game with me?_ ” Geno responded, and to Sid’s amazement, he completely matched Sid’s sensual tone. Sid wondered if he was doing it on purpose...if he could tell Jessica was watching. Sid suddenly felt a bit hot.

“...Uh...Y-yeah, I’ll, uh...get out of here around 6,” Sid said after a pause, trying to keep his voice steady.

“ _Great, Sid,_ ” Geno said, keeping up that sensual tone and making Sid’s heart flutter. “ _I make dinner for you again..._ ”

“Mmm, what’s for dinner?” Sid blurted out, his voice sounding like a purr even to his own ears, making his stomach twist uncomfortably. _God_ that was embarrassing...he fought off the urge to put one of the new computer boxes over his head.

To Sid’s bewilderment, Geno just chuckled. “ _It’s surprise, Sid!_ ”

Despite his embarrassment, Sid couldn’t help the sly smile that spread itself over his face. “Oh, a _surprise_ , huh?”

This time, he couldn’t resist sending a little glance up at Jessica. She was standing there, somehow managing to glare daggers at him while at the same time looking completely scandalised. Sid could tell that she assumed he was talking to his romantic partner, and while Sid wasn’t usually one for lying, the petty part of Sid wanted to keep the deception going; if not for the delicious expressions it was causing Jessica’s face to make, then...for the delicious things Geno was making him _feel_ with that warm sensual voice.

“ _Yeah, surprise,_ ” Geno said, not changing his low tone in the slightest. “ _Always surprise._ ”

“I, uh...I can’t wait,” Sid said, a little breathlessly.

“ _So...I see you...6:45, 7? You come, Sid?_ ” Geno said, his voice suddenly sounding a little rough and...almost needy. Sid shifted a bit, uncomfortably, and swallowed against the dryness at the back of his throat. His body was starting to respond to Geno’s tone...he was sure he was flushed from head to toe, and he knew he’d better get off the phone before he had to excuse himself to the restroom. God...He was just talking to Geno about dinner! So why did Geno sound like he was inviting him over to—

Sid swallowed again and cleared his throat. “Y-yeah, I’ll, uh...I’ll see you then,” he said, still a bit breathless, embarrassed and yet somehow still simultaneously smug bout how easily Geno had just melted him on the phone in front of his ex.

“ _Okay, Sid..._ ” Geno said, his voice still warm and rough. “... _Can’t wait see you...._ ”

“Oh...I–...uh...I can’t wait to see you, too...I-I, uh...Bye, Zhenya, I–...bye,” Sid said, biting his lip. He wasn’t particularly surprised that...it had taken all he had not to add in an ‘I love you’ to the end of their conversation.

“... _Bye, Sid._ ”

Sid knew he was pink from head to toe as he hit the end button on his headset. He was somehow extremely embarrassed and giddy at the same time. He wished Geno would talk to him like that more often...How had Geno gotten so good at making Sid feel like the most important person on the planet just by talking to him on the phone?

Sid couldn’t help glancing up again at Jessica, who was now outright glaring at him. Sid went back to testing the machines, still feeling flustered yet devilishly smug.

“...who...who was that?” Jessica said after a while, her voice quieter than usual.

Sid raised a brow and looked up at her. “Oh, that was just Zhenya,” he said, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

Jessica made a face. “What the hell kind if a name is _Zhenya_?”

“It’s Russian,” Sid said, a little defensively, frowning down at his computer screen.

“Oh. Russian! Of course. You probably just,” Jessica waved her hand flippantly. “Went out and found some...random...single Russian mom right after we broke up. Didn’t you?”

Sid glared up at her, ready with a retort. But to Sid’s surprise, Jessica had stopped glaring and was looking away from him. She was quiet for a long time, so Sid just shrugged and got back to work, still trying to recover from the tingling Geno’s tone had left in his spine. He was sure Jessica would eventually leave, but she just sat there, staring at the wall.

“I’ll...I’ll bet she’s ugly, too...” Jessica said after a moment, but the usual bite was missing from her words. She actually sounded...hurt. Sid almost felt sorry for her. Almost.

Suddenly, Sid’s phone buzzed in his pocket, and he finished setting up the next monitor test before took his phone out to look at the notification. His lock screen informed him that Geno had sent him an image file. A little smile spread across Sid’s lips in anticipation. He unlocked his phone and opened the file, drawing in a soft gasp when he saw the picture Geno had sent him.

Geno sent a selfie of himself laying on the couch with Lyosha curled up on his chest, and Lyosh’s little polar bear was resting on his back, keeping him warm. Morning light was trickling in through the windows to the right of his couch, backlighting their hair in a soft glow, like halos. Geno must have just taken it early this morning. He hadn’t sent it with any words, just....three heart emojis in a row. Sid breathed out a happy laugh.

“Actually,” Sidney said softly as he stared at the picture, “He’s the most handsome, loving, and caring man I have ever met.” Sid smiled, content that no part of that statement was a lie. 

He saved the picture to his phone and, without hesitation, sent three heart emojis back.

 “... _he!?_ ” Jessica whispered harshly.

“Yes. _He_ ,” Sid said nonchalantly, pocketing his phone.

Jessica made a choked noise. 

Sid didn’t care to look up at her, although he just knew she was staring at him in complete shock. He watched the progress bar for the monitor test slowly fill up with shimmering green. 87%.

“ _He?!_ How...how _could_ you?” Jessica whispered after a moment, her tone harsh again. Sidney rolled his eyes. He’d had enough.

“How could I _what_ , Miss Deveraux?” He said in a quiet, but sharp voice, trying not to attract the attention of the employees sitting in the nearby cubicles. “How _could_ I find my happiness? Oh, yeah. How _dare_ I go off and... _be happy_ without you? It’s been almost a year since you left, and you haven’t wanted anything to do with me since then. Just what the hell was I _supposed_ to do? Wait until I stopped wanting to have kids, and then come begging back to you? Because that‘s never going to happen, not in a million years.”

When he looked at her, she still looked incredibly angry, but he was surprised to see that her eyes were wet, like she was holding back from crying.

Sid sighed, his anger deflating. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, returning his gaze to his work and beginning the next monitor test. “That was out of line.”

She scoffed, but said nothing. They sat in silence as he finished the current monitor test and moved on to the next monitor. He watched the shimmering green fill up the progress bar.

3%...8%...10%...14%...19%...27%...29%...

“...Are you?” she whispered suddenly.

Sid looked up at her, confused. “...Sorry?”

She rolled her watery eyes. “Are you _happy_ , Sidney?” she said quietly.

Sid hadn’t expected that. He blinked at her.

“Well...yeah,” he answered truthfully. “I am. I really am.”

She got up off the filing cabinet and subtlely wiped her eyes, then tossed her long blonde hair and put on a cool expression, trying to keep her composure.

“Well... _good_ , I guess,” she said, almost reluctantly. She turned to leave, but hesitated for a moment, her eyes distant. She finally turned back to him and said—so softly that Sid could barely hear her—“Just–...just treat him as good as you treated me, ok?”

Sid stared after her, completely dumbfounded, as she walked back to her office, almost slamming the door behind her.

“I...I will,” he said softly, even though she wasn’t there to hear his answer.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

As he left Heureuse & co., Sid felt interestingly calm in a way he hadn’t felt since his childhood. He felt lighter, too, as if a weight had been lifted from his chest. It was...nice to think that Jessica hadn’t been completely miserable while she was with him. She just...obviously had her own battles to fight, and the little part of Sid that still loved her thought what a shame it was that...he couldn’t be there to support her through those battles. But she obviously had a lot of issues, and Sid had his own, and unfortunately for them, they weren’t compatible.

Sid smiled at his reflection in the window as he unclocked his car. He was glad he hadn’t passed off this client to someone else. His mother had always told him he needed to face things head-on if he wanted to get through them with the best outcomes. He hadn’t always been able to do that, but he was proud that he’d been able to do that today.

He was so glad that he finally had some peace of mind about his relationship with Jessica. He didn’t feel the need to search for faults anymore, or worry about whether or not she knew how hard he had been trying for her. She _knew_ , and knowing that, he felt like he could finally just...let it all go.

Getting some closure with Jessica didn’t fix all of his problems, of course. Sure, it took a tremendous weight off his shoulders, but now, he had other things to think about. Like how he still had to come to terms with his feelings for Geno. He knew his feelings weren’t just going to go away. He understood now that feelings linger, no matter how much you don’t want them to. And with Geno...he _liked_ feeling the things that Geno made him feel. He wanted to feel them. Which probably meant that these feelings would never go away.

Sid valued his friendship with Geno for countless reasons, not the least of which was the broad array of positive emotions that Geno made him feel, seemingly effortlessly. Still, it wasn’t Geno’s fault that Sid felt so strongly about him, nor was it Geno’s fault that Sid had fallen for him. Sid knew that if he wanted to keep his...admittedly strange friendship with Geno, he was going to have to endure those moments when he couldn’t follow through on his impulses to be more tactile, more intimate. Sid would never disrespect Geno’s boundaries...and he knew he was prepared to respect them until the day he died. 

Geno deserved respect. In Sidney’s eyes, he deserved everything. He deserved everything that Sid could give him. Although, Sid would rather give Geno everything without receiving monetary compensation for it.

He knew that Geno had to have money with the way he threw it around, but what Sidney couldn’t understand is, where did it come from? Did he come from old money? Did he just have a really well-paying job back in Moscow? 

Sid supposed there was no point in speculating on that. Maybe he’d ask about it later, but.......no. Sid shook his head. Why or from where Geno had money just...wasn’t that important. There had to be a way of throwing Geno’s money back at him so that he’d see that Sid _didn’t care_ about the money. A sudden idea occurred to Sid on the way to Geno’s apartment, and he found himself stopping in front of an electronics store.

 _Hey, I’m going to run an errand really quick_ , he found himself texting Geno. _I’m going to be a little late, but only about 15 minutes :) See you soon!_

Geno texted back almost immediately.

_Ok see you Sid))_

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was smiling softly in the elevator up to Geno’s apartment. At the moment, he was trying not to think about the way Geno had talked to him over the phone that day, which only made him think about it more. He’d liked it, there was no denying that. He’d liked the way Geno’s tone had turned simple phrases into suggestive ones that made his stomach flutter and his heart pound. He knew it probably hadn’t really meant anything to Geno, and he’d probably only done it because Jessica was watching, but Sid was still feeling secretly smug about it. His smile faltered a little when he realised he wasn’t sure he’d ever hear Geno talk to him like that ever again, and the thought of that made him feel a little...disappointed. 

But Sid had decided that he accepted...whatever his and Geno’s friendship was. Sure, it was wasn’t at all typical, and it may even be a bit weird, but...he liked it like that. It was _good_ like that. His feelings were not Geno’s fault, and it would be selfish of him to want more than Geno was willing to give him. Sid let out a breath and shifted the package he was holding before knocking on the door.

Sid was surprised at just how...good Geno looked when he opened the door. He wasn’t wearing anything particularly fancy, just a deep violet t-shirt with a bright yellow tiger on it and a pair of ripped distressed jeans. Sid was almost taken aback...he would probably have hated that outfit on anyone else, but Geno looked amazing in it.

Geno smiled and said, “Sid! Come in!”

Sid felt an idiotic smile start to spread over his lips, and he was powerless to stop it. “Hi, Zhenya,” he said, looking down and avoiding eye-contact as he walked in. His mouth suddenly felt dry. Even though Sid had accepted their friendship for what it was, his current reaction to Geno was proof that he _definitely_ wouldn’t be getting over just how attracted he was to him anytime soon...and Geno’s phone call today certainly hadn’t helped matters.

“How are you, Sid?” Geno said, stepping behind Sid and helping him with his coat.

Sid let Geno take his coat and hang it up. 

“I’m doing great, actually,” Sid said, toeing off his shoes and leaving them on the rack under the coats. He didn’t elaborate further than that, because a sudden delighted squeal brought his attention to Lyosha, who was happily bouncing in his bouncy chair in the sitting room.

“Niiiy! Niiy!!”

Sid walked over and put the package he’d brought down on the coffee table, scooping Lyosha up out of his bouncy chair and hugging him close.

“Hi, buddy! Hi!!” Sid cooed at Lyosha. “How are you? I missed you today!”

“Dniiy....” Lyosha said, giggling and curling his little arms around Sid’s neck. 

Sid closed his eyes against the familiar wave of fondness he knew was coming, and rubbed Lyosh’s little back. 

“Why I don’t get big hug like that?” Geno laughed behind them. His tone was joking, but there was a hint of something else there. Did he sound a little...reproachful?

Sid looked over his shoulder and smiled softly. “Sorry, I...I didn’t know you wanted one...”

Geno smiled and ducked his head. “Ah, _я_ _шуч_ –I’m just...it’s joke, Sid,” he chuckled, but he didn’t look up at Sid. Sidney wondered if he was avoiding eye-contact, but he didn’t have much time to think about it before Geno noticed the package Sid had left on the coffee table, picking it up.

“Sid, what’s this?” Geno said, looking a bit suspicious. “Don’t tell me you try give me back money agai—”

“Well, technically, you gave the money to me,” Sidney interrupted, smiling. “That means I get to decide what I spend it on, and...I decided to spend it on you.”

Geno squinted at him, looking like he was trying to figure him out.

“Not how...s-works, Sid...”

“I told you before, I don’t really need the money,” Sid said with a smile, picking up Lyosh’s blanket from his playpen and draping it over his own shoulder and Lyosh’s back. “Just getting to spend time with you and Lyosha is more than worth the work I do babysitting.” He looked back up at Geno, cocking his head at him slightly. “Aren’t you gonna open it?”

Geno hesitated, but then he looked down and carefully tore the paper off of the package—the same plain brown paper that Sid had used on the previous one. He was a bit surprised when he got all the paper off and was met with a box with a black rectangle inside. He furrowed his brows and looked confused for a moment before realisation dawned on him and he snapped his gaze up at Sidney.

Sid was laughing softly and shifting Lyosha when Geno looked up, because Lyosh had stuck his tongue out and drooled all over Sid’s shoulder.

“You’re just a leaky faucet today, aren’t ya, bud?” Sid cooed at Lyosh. “ _Da?_ ”

Lyosha looked at him and giggled. Then he stuck his fingers in his mouth, making loud sucking noises, and then giggled again, smiling at Sid with his eyes. Sid just giggled back at him. 

“...Sid... _ты_...” Geno said suddenly, trying to find words.

Sid turned to look at Geno. “Hmm?”

Geno wasn’t sure what to say. “It’s... _это_...” he looked down at the device.

Sid smiled at him. “You want to turn it on?”

Geno looked up at him, then back down at the device for a moment before finding his voice again.

“...How much this cost, Sid? You sure you don’t—” 

“That’s not important,” Sid said, shaking his head. “Here, let me turn it on for you...”

Sid walked the few steps it took to get close enough to reach the on-button. Geno was stammering, but grew silent as the screen lit up and a slideshow began to play. The first picture was the selfie of Geno and Lyosha at the zoo, the next one was Geno and Lyosha on the metro train a few days ago...

Sid watched Geno stare at each picture of him and Lyosha as it lit up the screen. He seemed to smile wider and wider at each one, and when the selfie of him, Lyosha, and Sid at the park lit up the screen, he let out a few breathy laughs. 

“Sid... _это_...” he said, trailing off as the next picture flashed onto the screen.

It was a picture that Geno hadn’t seen before; one that Sid had taken of Lyosha with his own phone after Geno had left for his latest interview. Lyosha was smiling up at the camera with his eyes, lying on his back in his playpen with his little keys in his mouth. 

Geno was silent for a moment, staring at the electronic frame as the pictures shuffled back to the beginning and began looping again.

“I...hope you don’t mind that I took that last one,” Sidney said, looking at the floor, suddenly worried that he’d overstepped.

“ _Не, это_...” Geno trailed off again. “Sid, this...it’s...”

Sid looked up at him.

“It’s...perfect, Sid,” Geno whispered, a soft smile on his face. “ _Спасибо_.”

Sid looked down and realised that Geno was looking at the selfie of the three of them at the park again.

Geno smiled at the electronic frame for a few more moments before he seemed to remember himself, standing up straight and clearing his throat.

“Ah, I know exactly where I’m put this one, Sid,” Geno said, walking over towards the hallway. He glanced over his shoulder, as if he was making sure Sid was following him. 

Sid followed Geno into his room, and watched Geno set the electronic frame on his bedside table, right under one of the modern-looking lamps.

“So I always see it,” Geno explained, smiling, but not looking at Sid. He was still looking at the picture frame.

Sid cleared his throat, trying to ignore the warm, full feeling in his heart, but unable to wipe the smile off his face. “Uh, those cords in the box go with the frame,” he said, pointing to the box that was still in Geno’s hands. Geno looked down at them as Sid pointed. 

“This one is for power, so you don’t have to keep changing the batteries,” Sid said about the first one, “And this one connects it to your computer, so you can add more pictures onto the frame, if you want,” Sid said of the second one.

“I can add more?” Geno asked, his eyes growing wide.

“Yeah, it'll hold about 150,000 pictures,” Sid said, smiling wider. “I put these pictures on there to get you started, but, uh...I...wanted to give you something you could add pictures to. You know, as you...make more memories here with Lyosha.”

Geno smiled wider and set the box with the cords in it down onto his bed. He unhesitatingly stepped closer to Sid and softly hugged him, being mindful not to squish Lyosha. Sid breathed through his nose, trying not to let out the contented sigh he was holding in as a warm wave of fondness crashed over him. He held on the sigh, but he was unable to stop himself from smiling like an idiot, though, glad that Geno liked his gift.

Geno pulled away after what seemed like too short a moment, and looked like he was about to say something before one of the kitchen timers went off.

“ _Ой_ , I forget about bread!” Geno said, suddenly looking a little worried, and dashing off into the kitchen to open the oven. Sid laughed softly and followed him into the kitchen.

“Your papa’s funny, Lyosh,” Sid said aside to Lyosha, who just giggled and blew bubbles with his mouth, as if to say he already knew. Sid chuckled and wiped the drool off Lyosh’s chin.

“Sid, please, sit,” Geno invited as he gathered the bread, a tub of sour cream, and a few other things from the kitchen. Sid put Lyosha into his bouncy chair and wheeled it over to the table, then sat and watched Geno bring the food into the dining room. The table had already been set, and the aromas coming from the kitchen were mouthwatering. 

“What did you make for dinner today?” Sid asked.

Geno smiled at him. “Borscht,” he said, wiggling his eyebrows. “I _know_ you will like it.” 

Sid smiled warmly at him. It sounded a bit like Geno had practiced that last phrase just so he could say it to Sid. “I’m sure I will! You’re such an excellent cook!”

Geno smiled, ducking his head as he walked back to the kitchen with his and Sid’s bowls.

“Of course! I’m best,” Geno said, but the bashful look on his face betrayed his modesty, which only made Sid smile wider.

When Geno returned to the table with the bowls, he looked sort of flushed, but Sid wasn’t sure if that was from the compliment or from Geno sticking his head over a pot of hot soup. Geno set the bowls of borsht down in front of himself and Sid, then smiled at Sid as he sat.

“Sid, look...” he said, picking up the tub of sour cream. “You take... _сметану_ , and you put in your soup, like this...” He took a big spoonful and put his spoon back in his soup, stirring it. “It’s taste so good like this, Sid. Try!”

Sid took the tub of sour cream from where Geno was holding it out to him and took a spoonful as well, stirring it into his own soup. Geno smiled at him, looking hopeful for a good reaction as Sid finally took a little sip.

“...Oh my god, this is amazing!” Sid said, enthusiastically dipping his spoon back in his bowl and taking a larger spoonful. Geno just laughed at him.

“Glad you like, Sid.”

At the beginning, Sid was careful to blow on it before sipping each spoonful down, but it was so good, it was hard to wait, and he did end up burning the tip of his tongue after a while. The soup was so good, however, that he couldn’t bring himself to care.

They ate dinner mostly in silence, and as far as Sid was concerned, it was only because he was more interested in occupying his mouth with eating than with talking. The only noises he was interested in making were compliments and “mmm”, and after a while, he noticed that Geno looked quite pleased with himself.

Sid ended up having four bowls of Geno’s Borsht, and Geno laughed when Sid complained about being full.

“Glad you eat lots, Sid,” Geno laughed as he took their bowls to the sink.

“Ohh, I am, too...it was delicious. I may have overdone it a bit, though,” Sid said, chuckling as he gathered the rest of the bread and the sour cream. He felt like he was waddling as we went to put it all back in the refrigerator.

Geno went to get Lyosh’s bottle and baby bag while Sid sat down with Lyosh on the couch. Geno returned with the bag and handed Lyosh’s bottle to Sid before sitting down next to him and turning on the TV. Lyosha made a noise and reached for his bottle as soon as he saw it, so Sid positioned the bottle at a good angle for Lyosh and let him hold onto it.

The pregame was on, and Geno stared at it for a second before he turned and nodded at Sid.

“So, ah...how work go today?” Geno asked, stretching his arm over the back of the couch. It sounded a bit cautious, like he was unsure about asking. Sid had been expecting Geno to ask that sooner...he wondered if maybe Geno hadn’t mentioned it earlier because he was embarrassed about the way he’d talked to him on the phone.

“It was...it was ok,” Sid said. “I was...expecting it to be a lot worse, so...”

“How your girlf—, uh...ex-girlfriend?”

Sid glanced at Geno. He wasn’t looking at the TV, but he wasn’t looking at Sid either. He was examining his hand, like he was trying to busy himself with something.

“She...well, she was just as...mean as ever when I got there,” Sid said. “She’s the department manager now, which...I mean, good for her, eh? I just...she seemed to think it gave her the right to insult me while I was trying to work...”

Geno looked at him with a concerned expression. “She insult you today?”

“Well, yeah...I mean, it’s...it’s nothing new,” Sid admitted with a shrug. “She always finds some way to...try to make me feel like less of a person.”

Geno grunted, looking upset. 

“It’s okay, though, I can handle her,” Sid added quickly as he looked up at the TV, not noticing Geno make a face and shake his head. “I’ve dealt with worse, but, uh...well, I...she was hovering over me when I started working, and I...” Sid trailed off and was silent for a moment, suddenly thinking about how Geno had sounded on the phone...He almost wished that he'd taken Geno up on his offer to bring him coffee.

“She’s there when I call?” Geno asked after a moment, bringing Sid out of his thoughts.

“...uh, yeah,” Sid said, looking up at Geno. “Did...you know?”

Geno nodded. “I think she’s there,” he said, but didn’t elaborate further. “What she do when we stop talk? It’s when she insult you?” 

Sid suddenly couldn’t make himself look at Geno. “Well, no, I mean...she insulted me before that, but, uh...then you called, and from the way we were talking, I guess she...well, she thought you were, uh...she thought you and I were together, you know? ...and...” Sid hung his head, suddenly feeling ashamed that he’d lied. “And I just let her assume we were, you know...because it was...easier? ...I dunno...and I just couldn’t—”

“She jealous?” Geno interrupted suddenly.

Sid blinked up at him, completely taken off guard. Geno was now staring calmly at the TV, no particular expression on his face.

Sid felt awful and wonderful when he said quietly, “Well...yeah...I think she was.”

Geno looked at Sid for a second, a glint in his eye. “Good,” he said with a little nod, then turned back to the TV like nothing had happened.

Sid stared at him, dumbfounded, until Lyosha spit out the bottle and started trying to crawl up onto Sidney’s chest. Sid was pensive as he burped Lyosha and then sat there with him, rocking him and rubbing his back. Geno was glad that Sid had made Jess jealous? Well, Sid was kinda glad, too, but he wasn’t able to admit it so readily.

Was it really fair for Sid to lie to her like that just to feel like he got some revenge? After all, Jessica wasn’t all bad, she was just another human being dealing with her own issues...but something told Sid that Geno had already decided to hate her because she’d hurt Sid, and considered making her jealous to be a completely fair form of retribution. Besides, he only knew her as Sid’s mean faceless ex, he’d never seen her on a good day like Sid had. Maybe Sid should say something about how she had told him to treat Geno well—Sid almost physically shook his head at his thought. What good would that do? Sid wasn’t really in a relationship with Geno, so it wouldn’t mean anything...right? 

Lyosha yawned and started playing with a lock of Sid’s hair. Sid smiled down at Lyosha and glanced at the first little picture frame he’d brought for Geno. He was helping with Lyosha and spending quality time with Geno, which meant he _was_ treating Geno well, just...in a friendly way.

And he was okay with that. He _was_.

“Oh, Sid,” Geno said suddenly, turning to him. “When your hockey league have games?”

“Every Friday!” Sidney said excitedly, but then his smile faded into a frown. “Oh, but...the game tomorrow got cancelled for a...a private party or something.” 

Geno furrowed his brows. “Really?”

Sid nodded. “Yeah, I got the email about it a while ago...I’m...sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, I just got busy with other things and forgot.”

Geno made a disappointed noise and took out his phone, presumably to look up the schedule at the rink. He made another dissatisfied noise before tapping at his screen for a while and then putting his phone away.

After that, they both got sucked into the hockey game. The Canadiens were playing against Minnesota Wild, and they were actually putting up a pretty decent fight that night. They kept the score tied the whole night, and ended up winning 4-3 in overtime.

Geno turned off the TV as Sid got up with Lyosha asleep on his shoulder. They were quiet as they walked Lyosh over to his room, where Sid gently laid him down in his crib. They were both relieved when he didn’t even stir, and they both stood there for a moment, smiling and watching Lyosh’s little chest rise and fall as he breathed. Before he realised it, Sid was gently tucking Lyosha in, hoping he didn't wake him, and he was glad when Lyosh’s little eyelashes barely fluttered. Lyosh looked so peaceful and adorable, that Sid had to physically stop himself from leaning down to kiss Lyosh’s little forehead. Geno gave Lyosh his goodnight kiss after putting his little polar bear teddy next to him. 

Sid stood back and watched Geno gently smooth out Lyosh’s hair, suddenly and painfully aware of his position as the family friend; the babysitter. He was going to have to get used to this feeling. For Geno’s sake.

Geno followed him to the door and stood with him as he put on his shoes, then helped him with his coat. Geno looked tired, and he spent a long time smoothing the shoulders of Sid’s coat, like he might be lost in thought.

“Hey,” Sid said softly, after Geno had finished smoothing down his coat.

“Hmm?” Geno looked up at him.

“How are you doing? You ok?” Sid asked.

Geno smiled and looked back down. “Ok, Sid. Ok.” 

“Okay,” Sid said, stepping forward and hugging him. “I’ll see you later, ok? Let me know if...you need anything.”

When they broke the hug (much too soon for Sid’s liking), Geno nodded, looking at the floor. “Okay, Sid.” He finally looked up at Sid. “You text me when you home?”

Sid smiled at him. “I’ll text you the second I walk in my door.”

Geno smiled back, looking relieved, then ducked his head and opened the door for Sidney. “Thank you, Sid.”

“It’s no problem. See you,” Sid said with a smile.

“See you, Sid!” Geno said, waving as Sid walked out the door and down the corridor.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

True to his word, Sid took out his phone the second he’d gotten his door closed.

_I made it home safe! Goodnight!_

Geno’s response was immediate.

_Thank you Sid))) Goodnight)_

At the end was a single heart emoji.

Sid smiled at his screen. Maybe Geno didn’t love him romantically, but he sent him enough heart emojis that Sid had to believe that Geno at least loved him platonically.

Under different circumstances, Sid might have assumed his own love for Geno and Lyosh was platonic, but for Sid, it had passed right through that within hours of their first meeting and careened straight into familial love. And if it weren’t for the deep, visceral reactions Sid had when Geno looked at him, talked to him, touched him, or gave him that goofy smile...Sid might not have even registered the fact that sexual attraction was also a factor in Geno’s case. 

He wondered how he was supposed to reconcile that part of his love for Geno as he sat down on his bed. Maybe...he didn’t need to. Maybe he could just go on silently feeling the wonderful things that Geno made him feel. It would be hard not to be able to do anything about it, sure, but in the grand scheme of things, his feelings weren’t all that important. It was Lyosha that mattered most, and Geno would have to do what was best for him, no matter how Sid felt about any of it. He had to remember that he may be a part of Geno and Lyosh’s lives, but that didn’t make him a part of their family, no matter how much he wished it did.

Sid shook his head and lay down to sleep, just grateful that he was as much a part of Geno and Lyosh’s lives as he was. He loved them so much that he would take what he could get, even if it meant staying quiet about his feelings.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid blinked as his itchy eyes adjusted to the faint light trickling into his room through his window. He glanced at his clock and grumbled a little when he realised he’d woken up a mere ten minutes before his alarm. He sighed and sat up in bed, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He might as well get up if he wanted to get his workout in.

He got dressed, went downstairs to the gym, worked out for an hour and a half, then went back up to his apartment for a long, 20-minute shower. It was nice just to stand there for a moment, letting the hot water stream over his back.

Despite the talk he’d had with himself last night, he couldn’t stop thinking about Geno. What was his morning routine like? Sid at least knew from programming the coffee maker that Geno’s coffee would be ready by then...maybe Geno was already up? Maybe he’d already had his first cup?

Sid wondered when Lyosha usually woke up. Maybe he was already awake? Maybe Geno always had to take his showers with Lyosha in his bouncy chair just outside the shower. Maybe Geno fed him breakfast right afterwards? Or gave Lyosha his own bath?

Maybe...

Sid rubbed the back of his neck as he waited for his own coffee maker to finish brewing. He knew he needed to respect Geno’s boundaries, but there were moments like this one when he was alone in his tiny, quiet apartment, and he desperately wished he could be there with Geno and Lyosh...be a part of their morning routine...be a bigger part of their lives.

Sid poured a cup for himself as the coffee finally finished brewing. If he was honest, he supposed he was grateful for what small part he did play in their lives. He almost felt guilty for wishing he could have more. After all, what gave him the right?

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid left for work right on time, and walked into his office a few minutes early. He set his travel mug down on his desk and pulled his laptop out of his briefcase, setting it up on his desk and opening his emails. 

He was clearing out some of the junk when a message from Max for the night-leaguers caught his eye, and he hurriedly opened it. It had been sent at 4am that morning.

_hey, bonjour les hommes-_

_so i just found out last night, but false alarm on that private thing at the rink! we are on for tonight at 7:30 against les bombardiers! i know it’s a little early, and some of us won’t be able to swing that, but it’s what we were given, so we’re taking it. i know for a fact that we’ll need at least two subs tonight, and if you can’t make it, let me know so i can update everyone/call in some more subs._

_keep me posted, and i’ll keep you posted!_

_—max_

Sid laughed in relief, and before he realised what he was doing, he had his phone pressed to his ear, listening to the ringback tone and waiting for Geno to pick up. He suddenly realised that this was the first time he’d ever called Geno, but he didn’t have time to be nervous about it before Geno answered.

“ _Sid, hi.._.” Geno said, sounding pleasantly surprised and a bit out of breath. There was a sound like a TV in the background, but it sounded far off, and there was another sound that Sid couldn’t place.

“Hi,” Sid said. ”Sorry, I...hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time...”

Geno took a second to process Sid’s words and then said, “ _Oh, no, Sid, it’s ok, I’m just in sport...center right now, I’m ride...bicycle,_ ” he said through his heavy breaths, then he hesitated. “ _Uh, but I can talk right now!_ ” He added hurriedly. “ _What you need, Sid?_ ”

A fond smile spread over Sid’s face. “I just wanted to call and let you know, my league’s game wasn’t cancelled! It’s going to be tonight at 7:30, can you make it?”

“ _7:30 game? It’s perfect, Sid! Uh...but..._ ” He trailed off. “ _But nobody can watch Lyosh...maybe I just watc—”_

“Don’t worry, you can play, too! If I know our goalie’s wife, she’s going to be there with her daughters, and I’m sure she wouldn’t mind watching Lyosha during the game! I’ll call and ask her, just to be sure, ok?”

“ _Oh, ok!_ ”

“I’ll text you the address for the rink later.” 

“ _Ok, good, Sid,_ ” Geno said with a smile.

“So...how’s your morning going?” Sid found himself asking.

“ _It’s normal morning, Sid...wake up, drink coffee, feed Lyosh, and now I’m...ride bicycle in sport centre,_ ” Geno said, laughing softly. “ _Lyosh with me in his c-carrier, but...he’s not help me...with bicycle._ ”

“Yeah, his legs are still a little too short for that,” Sid laughed, happy that Geno had shared with him a little idea of how his morning routine went.

Geno laughed. “ _You, Sid? How your morning?_ ” he asked.

Sid thought for a moment. “It’s going pretty well, I think. I...didn’t sleep that well, but I’ve had my coffee and I’m happy the game is happening tonight—”

“ _You not sleep well, Sid?_ ” Geno interrupted, his voice sounding a little concerned. “ _Why? What’s happen?_ ”

Sid blinked, surprised at the concern in Geno’s voice. “Nah, I just...didn’t really get enough sleep,” he admitted.

Geno hummed, still sounding a little concerned. “ _You ok play tonight? Not too tired?_ ”

Sid smiled. “I'll be fine, I promise,” he answered.

Sid suddenly heard Lyosha giggle in the background, and Geno chuckled. 

“ _Нуу, ты не смейся, малыш...а то ты не поможешь мне ничем!_ ”

Sid heard Lyosha giggle louder and make a noise with his tongue, which made Geno laugh harder.

“ _Ладно, дружок, поможешь мне своей комедии! Смешишь_ _папу_ _,_ _значит_ _поможешь_ _..._ ”

Lyosha made a happy noise, and Sid listened with a smile. He loved listening to Geno talk to Lyosha in Russian. He didn’t understand every word, but he understood just enough to get the gist.

“ _So, Sid, game is tonight...7:30, right?_ ” Geno asked.

“Yep, 7:30,” Sid confirmed. “And I’ll text you if Vero says she’ll watch Lyosh...she loves kids, though, so I honestly doubt she’ll say no.”

“ _Oh, ok,_ ” Geno said.

As much as Sid didn’t want to hang up, he had to get back to work, and he still had a lot to do to make sure they were set up for the game. “I’ll go call Vero now, ok?”

“ _Ok, Sid, so...I meet you at rink, like...7?_ ” Geno asked.

“Yeah! 7’s perfect!” Sid confirmed.

“ _Great, Sid,_ ” Geno said, his voice warm.

“S...see you later, Zhenya,” Sid said reluctantly, wishing he could stay on the phone.

“ _Bye, Sid,_ ” Geno said softly, like Lyosh had just done something cute. Sid breathed through the fluttering in his chest.

“Bye, Zhenya,” he said, still unsure why he couldn’t help matching Geno’s tone when he did that, then hung up the phone. It was almost odd to think that he’d just called Geno for the first time since they’d known each other...of course, Sid was constantly forgetting that they’d only known each other for a little over a week. It felt so much...longer than that.

Sid shook his head and opened Vero’s name in his contacts, tapped on the little phone icon, and put the phone up to his ear. 

“ _Bon matin, mon ami! How are you?_ ” Vero answered after two rings.

“Hi, Vero! Bon matin! I’m doing great, how about you?”

“ _I’m doing well_ , _now that I’ve had a few months to rest,_ ” she said.

“Speaking of which, how is Scarlett?” Sid asked.

“ _She is a healthy, happy little baby girl! And very sweet! She loves to cuddle!_ ” Vero said, her voice warm.

“Oh, that’s great!” Sidney said, smiling into the phone. “I’m glad to hear you’re both doing well! Does Estelle love her new baby sister?”

“ _Estelle does love her baby sister! It has...been a challenge to find the balance in our lives, and Estelle is struggling, too, but she does try so hard to make sure we don’t forget about Scarlett,_ ” Vero said, her voice fond. “ _She’s always reminding us to get Scarlett’s carseat when we go to the store, or to get a book to read to her at bedtime._ ”

“Aw, that’s sweet of her,” Sid said.

“ _I think she is taking her role as big sister very seriously_ ,” Vero chuckled, obviously Extremely proud of her daughter.

“How’s Flower holding up?” Sid asked.

Vero laughed. “ _I still catch him singing Scarlett lullabies with a look of complete adoration on his face, and I catch him napping on the couch with her in his chest, so...I would say he is acting normal for being a father._ ” 

Sid laughed, too. “Fatherhood definitely suits him.” 

“ _I agree_ ,” Vero said. “ _Oh,_ _which reminds me, Marc-Andre is so happy that the game tonight was not cancelled! Cath_ _and I will be there with the kids._ ”

“Oh, that's great! Yeah, I'm glad it wasn't cancelled, too...” Sid said, trying to think of how to broach the subject of Geno and Lyosh without her finding out about his feelings.

Vero hesitated for a moment like she sensed there was more.

“ _I’m always happy to hear from you, Sidney, but...why have you called me, and not Marc-Andre?_ ”

“Ahh, I...well, I’m bringing a new friend in tonight as a sub, and, uh...well, he’s a single dad...” Sid began.

“ _Oh!_ ” Vero exclaimed. “ _So he needs someone to watch his child?_ ”

“Yeah,” Sid said, happy that Vero had picked up on what he was driving at before he’d even gotten there. “Would you mind...watching him during the game?” 

“ _Of course I don’t mind! I’m sure Cath and I can keep him entertained. How old is the son?_ ”

“He’s almost one,” Sid said, suddenly feeing some pride rising in his chest. It may have been a bit misplaced, since Lyosha wasn’t his son, but...he couldn’t really help how he felt.

“ _Oh! Has he learned to walk yet?_ ”

“No, not quite...” Sid said. “I mean, he’s crawling, but no walking yet.”

“ _Oh, so it will be easy, then,_ ” Vero said, a smile in her voice. Before Sid could say anything, she continued, “ _So, who is this new friend of yours?_ ”

“He’s, uhh...well, I met him at the Orly airport in Paris,” Sid began.

Vero hummed, encouraging him to continue. 

“He’s, uh...well, his name is Zh–uh, Evgeni, and...he moved from Moscow to Montréal, uh...about a week and a half ago.”

“ _Ah, il est russe!_ ” Vero said excitedly. “ _How exactly did you meet?_ ”

“Uh, w-well...” Sid knew he’d have trouble hiding his feelings if he kept going, but...maybe it would be ok. “We...were waiting out a flight delay, and he sat down next to me with his son and...” he couldn’t help the little laugh that bubbled out of him. “His son, Alexei, is very curious, and ah...I guess Alexei just got curious about me, so...he kept trying to crawl over to me.”

Vero laughed a little. “ _Aww..._ ” she said. “ _So you said hello?_ ” she supplied, knowing Sid’s love for children.

“Well, not at first, right? I mean...Evgeni looked tired, and...I didn’t want to overstep my bounds, you know? But...Lyo–Alexei kept crawling back, and Zhenya—uh, Evgeni—finally asked me if I wanted to hold him.

“ _And you said yes, of course,_ ” Vero said knowingly.

Sid laughed softly. “Yeah...”

“ _Then you...talked?_ ” Vero asked.

“Yeah,” Sid said. “I told him I was Canadian, and he asked me if I like hockey, so I told him I played in a night league, and he said he was probably better than me, so...” Sid laughed. “I knew I had to invite him out for a game.”

“ _Ohh!_ ” Vero said. “ _It’s a shame you were in New York last week! We would have loved to meet him sooner!_ ” 

“Yeah, believe me, I wish I had been here last week, too...” Sid said, grimacing a little as he thought of the touchy-feely New York CEO. He pushed her out of his mind and thought about how he’d almost called Geno when he was there. “I...I missed everyone pretty bad...”

“ _Especially your new friend, no?_ ” Vero said knowingly.

Sid blinked, feeling caught. “W-well, ah...”

Vero laughed. “ _I can tell he means a lot to you,_ ” she said. Sid wanted to ask how she knew, but he didn’t have to. “ _You talk about him so..._ ” She paused and laughed again. “ _I don’t know, but I can tell you like him a lot._ ”

Sid sighed and laughed a little. “That obvious, huh?”

Vero laughed again. “ _Yes! You sounded so proud to talk about his son’s age, and when you talk about him, it’s like...ah, comment s’appelle? I don’t know. You just sound so happy,_ ” she said. 

“I...guess I am,” Sid said, smiling softly. “He’s...a great friend.”

“... _He’s...just a friend?_ ” Vero asked after a pause.

“Yep,” Sid tried to say decisively, but his voice wavered slightly without his permission.

“ _But...you wish he was more..._ ” Vero said. “ _I hear it in your voice..._ ”

Sid sighed. So much for leaving his emotions out of it. Why was she so damn perceptive all the time?

“I...I guess I do, but...” Sid trailed off and sighed. “It’s complicated. I...he...I don’t want to overstep my bounds—”

Vero sighed. “ _That sounds like an excuse, Sidney...Maybe you don’t know where your real bounds are..._ ” She stopped short and sighed. “ _Sorry, it...it isn’t my business; I don’t know about you two, really, but...please don’t get yourself hurt, Sidney._ ”

Sidney didn’t know what to say to that. He opened his mouth to tell her that he was just happy that he could spend as much time as he did with Geno and Lyosh, but then he thought of just how much he always ached to be with them when he wasn’t around them—how painful that was—and he shut his mouth. Maybe she was right, maybe he should take a closer look at his own bounds. It was at least something to think about.

“ _So, you’ll tell him he can bring his son tonight without worrying, Sidney?_ ” Vero said after a second.

“Yeah, I’ll tell him right now,” Sid answered.

“ _Okay, mon ami, bisous! I have to go run errands. I’ll see you tonight!_ ” Vero said.

“Ok. Bye, Vero! See you!” 

Sid texted Geno immediately after hanging up.

_Vero says she and Cath can watch Lyosh during the game tonight! They’re really nice, and they have kids, too, so Lyosh will be in good hands._

Geno responded almost immediately.

_Great Sid) Thank you))_

Sid smiled, then sent back _No problem)_

Geno immediately sent back _))))))))))))_

Sid laughed, guessing that just stood for a _really_ big smile. Kind of like Geno’s. Geno had a great big bright smile, the kind that lit up a room, and Sid loved seeing it. Sid loved...all of Geno. His smile, his laugh, the way he dressed, the way he talked...

Sid just...loved him. Plain and simple.

Sid hesitated for a moment, staring blankly at his computer screen. He hadn’t thought about it before, but after talking to Vero, he was starting to realise that keeping his feelings for Geno secret may possibly be one of the hardest and most painful things he‘d ever had to do...and he wasn’t even doing a good job of it. Not only had his mother and Vero seen right through his attempts to hide his feelings over the phone, but a complete stranger at the Laguardia airport had read him as a new parent just from his side of the phone conversation.

Sid’s shoulders slumped and he looked down at his phone, hesitating. If he was so bad at hiding it, did Geno know, too? Maybe...but maybe not. Maybe this seemed more like a joke to Geno, or a tool to use so you can sit by your new friend on an airplane...or to get back at mean exes.

Sid opened his photo library on his phone, tapping on the selfie Geno had taken of the three of them at the park. The three of them looked so much like a family it made his heart ache. Geno’s smile was so bright, just like Lyosh’s eyes. Now, Sid could barely look at the picture without feeling this intense longing that permeated his entire being and made all of his muscles ache. How could he have come to love two people so much in just a little over a week? He supposed it didn’t take much to love someone...although it had seemed to have taken him longer the last time he fell in love. With Geno, however, it had been almost immediate.

Why? Where had it come from? How had Geno gotten past all his walls so fast? Was it because of Lyosha? Had Lyosha forced his guard down and let Geno walk right in? Maybe...maybe it wasn’t even that important. He already had the feelings, so learning to deal with them productively seemed like the better use of his time than bellyaching over the reasons for them. 

Sid sighed, then took one last glance at the park selfie before locking his phone and opening the email from Max. He responded that he had a new friend from Russia who wanted to substitute, then texted Geno the address to the rink with instructions on how to sign in and find the locker rooms.

Sid put away his phone, still contemplating what Vero had said. Was he really making excuses? He wasn’t sure, but he knew one thing for certain: he wasn’t going to let his feelings ruin his friendship with Geno. He liked being around Geno and Lyosh. And, yeah, so what if it hurt sometimes? Life wouldn’t be worth it without a little heartache. And a life without Geno and Lyosh? At this point, Sid couldn’t even imagine it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all! I'm super glad you're enjoying this story)) I think I'm going to change all of the chapter names once I'm done with this story, cause they just keep getting cornier and cornier) Please let me know what your favorite parts are, or if you see a distracting typo!
> 
> I'm sorry this took so long to write! Thankfully, my life seems to be back on track...I have struggled a little with writing for the past few weeks (because I'm kinda burnt out on work and finals thoroughly kicked my ass), but I've been trying to write far enough ahead that I can post the next chapter within the next couple of weeks, because I think we're getting to the interesting bits very soon) There will be a lot of exposition in the next few chapters, so stay tuned!!
> 
> Let me know if you'd like translations for the Russian parts, and as always, please please please feel free to correct my French if you find a mistake (especially if you're French-Canadian and you think mine sounds too France-French, or for those spots when it's obvious I used google translate)! I'm a language nerd who's always up for learning something new!
> 
> You guys are the best!)  
> -M


	6. Game Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: emotions and angst ahead!

Sid felt a little antsy as he finally pulled into his usual parking spot at the rink. He was about 20 minutes early, but that was also usual for him. It took him a while to realise it, but he was antsy about Geno finally meeting his other friends. Would Geno get their phone numbers, too? Would he start hanging out with them as well? Sid knew it was just his insecurity telling him that Geno would like them more than Geno liked him...knew it was just his fear of going back to his normal, boring, lonely life...but he still couldn’t help feeling antsy about it. He guessed he’d had perhaps an unfair monopoly on Geno’s time and attention since he arrived, but the thought of losing something that had become so important to him was understandably scary.

Sid popped the trunk and got out of his car, locking the car before shutting his door. He grabbed his bag and sticks and then shut the trunk, turning and heading for the steps up to the main entrance of the rink. As usual, he was the first to sign in on the little night-league sheet Max kept by the front desk, and Sophie, the new cashier who started a few months ago, greeted him by name.

“Hi, Sid!”

“Hi, Sophie,” Sid responded. “We in 9 today?”

“Yup,” Sophie said with a smile and a nod. “Same as every Friday.”

Sid smiled back. “I was pretty sure, but with that private thing later tonight, I figured I’d ask.”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about the private practice, Sid,” Sophie said. “They called andcancelled that.”

“Oh! Ok...well...” Sid said. He was about to say goodbye and head to the locker room, but he hesitated, his curiosity getting the best of him. “Hey, Sophie, do you...know anything about that private practice?”

Sophie shrugged. “Not much, just that it’s some rich guy who comes in to, like...” Sophie trailed off, looking thoughtful. “To train, I guess? But he never seems to have the same trainer twice, it’s...bizarre.”

Sid furrowed his brows. _Some rich guy?_ “Oh, yeah, that _is_ weird...” Sid couldn’t help his curiosity and found himself asking another question before he could stop himself. “Uh, does he...come in on any specific day, or...”

“...No, I think it’s on random days,” Sophie said, after thinking for a moment. “And not very often, either. Like maybe...two or three times since I’ve been here? Well, I don’t know. Maybe he comes in when I’m not working. But he’s got to be super rich, since he rents out the whole place, basically. Plus he dresses, like...really nice, like in suits and stuff? And he’s tall...kinda hot, too...I wonder if he’s married?” Sophie mused, half to herself.

Who would be rich enough to rent out the entire rink for a practice? Sid opened his mouth to ask more questions, but then he thought better of it and shut his mouth. As much as Sid wanted to ask more about it, it really wasn’t his place. Besides, this was Montréal. ‘ _Some tall hot rich guy_ ’ could be any one of the professional Canadiens players, or even some snooty company CEO who grew up playing hockey and had a penchant for firing his trainers. He’d met a few guys like that in his line of work. Still...he only knew of one tall hot guy who wore nice suits and was rich enough to rent out the whole rink...

Sid shook the nonsense out of his head and thanked Sophie for the info, then headed down the stairs to locker room 9. He smiled as he put his stuff down in his favourite corner spot—one of the perks of coming in early. He sat down and took his peanut butter and jelly sandwich out of the front pocket of his hockey bag, pulling it out of the sandwich bag and taking a bite. He loved the quiet moments in the locker room before all his loud teammates all got there. He loved it _after_ his loud teammates all got there, too, but the calm before the storm when he enjoyed his peanut butter and jelly had always been always his favourite part of pregame.

When he finished his sandwich, he grabbed his tape and his sticks and walked out into the quiet of the rink. He stood by the ice and started taping one of his sticks. He knew he’d need at least two ready to go, just in case Jean-Paul Gerrault was subbing for Les Bombardiers again, like he had been three weeks ago. He was a very physical player, and had broken Sidney’s sticks by various means in the past.

Sid had just finished his second stick when he heard a little squeal and looked up to see little two year old Estelle Fleury running up to him.

“ _Oncle Sid! Oncle Sid!_ ” she shrieked excitedly.

“Hello, Estelle!!” Sid called back to her, smiling widely. “ _Comment ça va?_ ”

Estelle answered him in rapid-fire toddler-French as she toddled towards him, and the only words Sid caught were _ça va bien_ , something that sounded like _Binou_ , and possibly _grenouille_...maybe she had seen a frog that day?

“ _Estelle! Ne touchez pas ses bâtons, s’il te plaît!_ ” Vero called after her, a smile on her face and a baby girl in her arms.

Estelle waited patiently while Sid leaned his sticks up against the wall behind his spot on the bench, but once he’d taken his hands off them, she giggled and pounced on him. Her father (and Sid’s long-time best hockey friend), Marc-Andre Fleury, walked up to them with a smile on his face and a cooler in his hand.

“ _Bonsoir, mon ami_ ,” he said with a smile, reaching out to give Sid a sideways hug.

“ _Bonsoir_ , Flower,” Sid answered, struggling a little to hug the goalie back with a giggling little girl plastered to his left shin. When he and Flower broke the hug, Sid looked down at the cooler in Flowers hands and raised a brow. “Did we become a beer league when I wasn’t looking?”

“Don’t worry, Sid, it’s gatorade,” Flower said with a little laugh. “I lost a bet to Letang last week.”

Sid snorted and ruffled Estelle’s hair. “It _would_ take you losing a bet to get you to show up _this_ early. What was the bet on?”

“Oh, you know...stupid shit,” he said quietly, not wanting to curse too loudly in front of his wife and girls. “Basically, I bet Kris the sub would fall for my tri–my pranks, and then he didn’t! Apparently he was warned about me...I wonder who could have done that...”

Sid laughed at his friend. “That’s what you get for making stupid bets,” he said, looking down and smiling at a still giggling Estelle. She was reaching up at him, now, and he picked her up to hug her close just as Flower started speaking again.

“Yeaah, but I have a special gatorade in here _just_ for Kris,” Flower said with a smirk, then he added behind his hand, “It’s just water with food colouring and a little vinegar.”

Sid laughed at him again. He knew that was a pretty tame prank for Flower, on par with the time when he’d taped the sleeves of Sid’s jersey shut, or left empty water bottles in Sergei’s wheel wells. He was capable of way worse.

“ _Bonsoir, mon_ Sidney _,_ ” Vero said as she walked up, hugging Sid and kissing both of his cheeks before getting her husband to help pry their daughter off of Sid. Estelle was disappointed at being taken away from her favourite ‘uncle’, but her mother gently told her that she was going to sit with mommy and that they would be meeting Sid’s new friend later, which seemed to satisfy her. Sid gave her hair one last ruffle and said he loved her little flowery skirt, telling her she looked like a princess and bowing to her. Estelle looked very pleased with herself, holding her head high as she toddled off to the bleachers with her mother.

Sid and Flower walked back into locker room 9, and Flower tossed Sid a green gatorade. Sid caught it and sat down to take a sip. The seal didn’t look broken and it smelled and tasted normal, so maybe not all of the “gatorade” in the cooler was water with vinegar and food colouring. Thank goodness. Flower caught him smelling it and laughed at him.

“Hey, you can’t be too careful, eh? Especially when _you’re_ involved!” Sid laughed back.

They started getting dressed before everyone else started trickling in. Kristopher Letang, one of the best D-men Sid had ever skated with, was the third one through the door. Flower pretended to open the bottle of “gatorade” he’d reserved for Kris, then re-tightened it and tossed it to him.

“What, you don’t think I can open it myself?” Kris said, already looking suspicious of Fleury as he opened the bottle. He sniffed it before squinting, then taking a little sip and making a face.

“ _Eugh, qu’est-ce que c’est?!_ ” he said, spitting a little at Fleury’s feet. Flower just laughed and laughed and laughed.

“ _C’est...l’eau!_ ” Fleury said through his laughter. “ _Avec le...vinaigre et le...colorant alimentaire!_ ” 

“ _Tu es le premier bâtard de cette ligue, sais-tu?_ ” Letang said, pushing Flower’s head to the side and then throwing the bottle at him before he stooped to grab a different gatorade out of the cooler. His voice sounded harsh, but there was a smile on his face as he walked back to his spot on the locker room bench, and Flower was laughing the whole time.

“ _Le premier, tu dis? Ah, c’est magnifique, merci!!_ ” Flower said once he’d caught his breath.

The next few people through the door were Sergei Gonchar, a talented D-man recently retired from the Montréal Canadiens, Pascal Dupuis, a talented and fun-loving ex-NHL left-winger, Alfonse Broussard and Pierre LaFonse, the inseparable ex-college D-pair, Elias D’argent, a newbie right-winger fresh out of college, and René Corbet, an ex-AHL left-winger. Maxime Talbot, captain, centre, and chair organiser of the night league, followed them in.

“ _Bonsoir à tous!_ ” Max said as he walked in, answered by a tired-sounding chorus of ‘bonsoir’s. He held out his hands. “ _Vos paiements, s’il vous plaît..._ ”

One by one, no matter their state of undress, people got up and handed over their $10 Canadian as Max walked by. Max looked up at Sid when he handed him $20.

“Wait, you don’t owe me from a previous game, do y—”

“No, I’m paying for the new sub tonight,” Sid interrupted with a lopsided grin. “My friend from Russia?”

“Ohh! Yeah, ok. Great!” Max said with a smile. “I was thinking of putting him on your line...can he play left wing?”

Sid shrugged. “I’ll have to ask him when he gets here.”

Max nodded. “Ok, let me know!”

“Will do,” Sid assured him.

A few more people trickled in after that, mostly subs and a few of the older guys. Geno walked into the room at 7:04, looking a little exhausted. Sid couldn’t help the wide smile that spread over his face when he looked up and saw Geno standing there with a hockey bag on his left shoulder, a baby bag on his right, and Lyosha in his baby carrier on his chest.

“Hey, Zhenya,” Sid said, standing up and walking towards him.

Geno’s face lit up when he saw Sid, that big smile Sid loved so much spreading over his face. “Hi, Sid!”

Lyosha looked a little overwhelmed at all the noise in the locker room, so Sid told Geno to put his bag down anywhere there was an empty spot on the bench, then to follow him.

Geno set his bag and his sticks down in the spot immediately to the right of Sid’s things, then followed him out to the bleachers. Sid led him over to where Vero was sitting with Letang’s wife, Catherine LaFlamme. Estelle was sitting at her mother’s feet next to Cath’s three year old son, Alex. Vero was holding two-month-old Scarlett in her arms, gently rocking her, and she stood up with Scarlett when Sid and Geno approached.

“Hello! You must be Evgeni!” Vero said. “I’m Veronique!”

“Hello, I’m Catherine,” Cath said, standing too. “And this is Alex and Estelle...” she gestured to the two children at their feet, who were busy playing with a colouring book and some pencil crayons and barely looked up.

“And this is little Scarlett,” Vero said, kissing Scarlett’s downy head.

“Hello,” Geno said, nodding at them and smiling down at a sleepy little Scarlett

“And this must be Alexei!” Vero said, smiling down at Lyosh. “He is so beautiful!”

Geno smiled widely at her, pride in his eyes. “Yes, he very beautiful!”

Vero smiled up at Geno, then back down at Lyosh. “ _Bonsoir, Monsieur Alexei! Comment ça va?_ ” Vero cooed at him. “ _Veux-tu t’assoir avec nous? Ouais!_ ”

“ _Ouais! Nous serons amis!! Ouais!_ ” Cath smiled and nodded at Lyosh.

Lyosha looked at Vero and then Cath with wide eyes for a moment, then smiled and giggled, which made both Vero and Cath say “Awh!” at the same time.

Geno sent a glance at Sid, who gave him a smile. Geno put Lyosh’s baby bag next to Scarlett’s, and then carefully handed Lyosha to Cath. Lyosha was immediately fascinated by her sparkly necklace.

Cath laughed. “ _Salut, Alexei! Salut! Peux-tu dire salut? Dis Salut!_ ”

“Aaa-la-la!” Lyosha said happily, waving his arms, making Vero and Cath laugh.

Alex and Estelle finally looked up from their colouring book and were now staring curiously up at Lyosha.

“He will be fine with us here,” Vero said assuringly to Geno, who was still hovering a bit. “Go, have fun!”

Sid put a hand on Geno’s arm.

“C’mon, we have to get ready. We don’t really have a lot of time.”

Geno nodded and turned to leave, sending a glance back at Vero and Cath when Lyosha did something that made them laugh again.

“He’ll be fine,” Sid said softly, putting a reassuring hand on Geno’s shoulder as he opened the door to the locker room with his other hand. Geno sent a grateful smile at Sid and nodded. They walked into the locker room and started getting ready.

Geno stuck close to Sid as they got dressed, and Sid wasn’t completely sure why, but he found it comforting.

“How was your day?” Sid asked as he adjusted his socks and knee-pads over his skates.

Geno shrugged after he’d gotten his shirt off. “It’s...don’t know. Long?” Geno said. “I’m want...do too many things today, I think.”

Sid nodded as he started tying his right skate. “Yeah? What did you do today?”

Geno shrugged again and opened his hockey bag. “Lots, uh...I shop, I cook, I, uh...do laundry, uh...I look for more jobs, uh...” A sad look momentarily flashed behind Geno’s eyes. “Fir-first interviewer email me and...tell me I’m...don’t get job, so...I’m little bit sad.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Sid said solemnly, moving on to tie the left skate. “That’s tough.”

Geno shook his head as he pulled out his knee-pads, chest protector, and elbow pads. “Is ok, I’m already look for more jobs, uh...maybe other just not, uh....fits, you know?”

Sid hummed and nodded, concerned at the flash of sadness he saw behind Geno’s eyes. Of course Geno was trying to be strong, as usual, but he still wasn’t good at hiding his sadness. Sid didn’t have time to give it much thought before he heard Gonch call out to Geno in Russian.

“ _Русский?_ ”  
[Russian?]

“ _Да_ ,” [Yes], Geno said, visibly surprised to hear his native tongue in a Montréal locker room.

Gonch looked at him for a moment.

“ _Что-то ты мне знакомый...наверное, мы с тобой раньше играли вместе_...”  
[You look kind of familiar...I probably played with you before]

Geno squinted like he was trying to place him.  
  
“ _Наверное, да..._ ”  
[Probably, yeah...]

“ _Металлург, возможно?_ ”  
[Metallurg, maybe?] Gonch tried.

Recognition suddenly bloomed on Geno’s face.

“ _Стоп...Серёга!? Ты ли это? Это я, Женя Малкин!_ ”  
[Wait...Sergei!? Is that you? It’s me, Zhenya Malkin!]

Gonch smiled more widely than Sid had ever seen him smile and he and Geno stood up to exchange enthusiastic hand shakes and shoulder pats. Then he and Geno sat down to finish dressing, and were talking so fast in Russian that Sid couldn’t keep up. He stopped listening after a while, lost in his own thoughts.

How did Geno know Gonch? What was Metallurg? Was Metallurg a team? Had they played together on that team? Sid didn’t know enough about Gonch to guess how long ago that might have been...

“Okay, _d’accord mesdames,_ ” Max said facetiously, his claps pulling Sid out of his thoughts. “ _Dépêchez-vous! Le match commence bientôt!_ Let’s hurry it up!”

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid couldn’t be completely sure why, but he felt a little tense after watching Gonch and Geno catch up in the locker room. Maybe it was just an extension of the antsyness he felt earlier. After all, Gonch was Russian, so he would understand when Geno expressed his thoughts and feelings, and could support Geno if he ever felt homesick, much better than Sid could. Besides, they had obviously been friends before. Maybe Geno would start hanging out with Gonch more. Maybe...Geno and Sid would drift apart.

Sid shook his head. As scary a thought as that was, he had to let whatever was going to happen, happen. Geno was his own person, and Sid just wanted to see Geno be happy. So if that meant Sid became less of a part of his life, then Sid was going to have to try to find a way to be content with that. Even if it hurt.

Sid felt some of the tension in his shoulders start to bleed away as he stepped out onto the freshly-zammed ice. Fresh ice always seemed to calm his mind, no matter what, because it was refreshing, familiar, and predicable. He skated up to centre-ice to skate through the dot and snag one of the loose pucks the refs always dumped out there for warmups.

Sid looked over his shoulder and watched Geno snag a puck, too, looking sharp in the white jersey Max had given him to wear. Sid followed behind him just a ways as he joined the circle they always skated around their zone. Geno showed beautiful control of the puck, and Sid was already impressed with how graceful he looked while he skated, despite how large he was.

They all took turns breaking off and taking shots at Fleury, and Geno was able to fake him out with a spin-o-rama and sneak in a backhand goal. Sid smiled, already much more impressed than he’d been prepared for.

Sid took his shot and shook his head as Fleury comfortably blocked it. He was distracted by how impressed he was with Geno. He needed to focus.

“Sid!”

Sid looked up at Geno when he heard him call his name and deftly caught the pass Geno had sent him.

“Thanks!” Sid called to him with a smile, rushing Fleury one more time and sneaking the puck in just barely over his glove hand. Sid crowed and skated up to tap Fleury’s pads with his stick.

“Yeah, yeah, you got lucky that time, you fucker!” Sid heard Fleury laugh as he skated back into the circle.

When the refs blew the whistle on warmups and each team had returned to their own bench, Sid and Max worked on smoothing out the lines. As captain, Max himself centred the first line. He had Pascal as his left-winger, one of the older guys as his right, and Gonch and Letang as his D pair. As alternate captain, Sid would be centring the second line. Sid had Elias on his right, Pierre and Alfonse as his D-pair, and asked Geno if he would be ok playing as his left winger. Geno enthusiastically agreed. Tonight, René would be centring the third line, which was made up mostly of subs and one of the older guys. When the kinks were worked out, the captains gave nods to the refs, and the whistle blow signalled the first-liners to get out onto the ice. Sid glanced over at the other bench before he sat down, concerned to see Gerrault there. Sid wondered who he’d be subbing for this week.

Les Bombardiers had good offense, but once the puck was in their zone, their defence flaked apart faster than a pastry crust. Max passed to Pascal for a nice, clean slap shot that cut through Les Bombardiers’ defences like a knife through warm butter, and Les Oiseaux de Glace had their first goal within the first 40 seconds of play.

When it was finally time for Sid’s line to enter the ice, Sid was buzzing with excitement. It had been much too long since he’d last gotten to play, and he hated just how often his job seemed to get between him and his favourite pastime. But today, there was another reason to be excited: he finally got to play hockey with Geno. Sid glanced over at Geno as they were setting up for the play, and saw him glance over his shoulder towards the bleachers. Sid followed his line of sight, expecting him to be looking at Lyosha, but instead saw three men in suits watching them. They all looked vaguely familiar, especially the oldest of the three, but Sid didn’t have time to wonder where he recognised him from before he felt the ref next to him had to shift his focus back to the ice.

Sid won the face-off, and Pierre immediately caught the puck. He held onto it for a while, almost making a show of his stick-handling skills, then faked out one of Les Bombardiers’ D-men and sent a risky long-pass over to Geno. Geno caught the pass like it was nothing and easily fought his way through Les Bombardiers’ D pair and into their defensive zone. Sid was in awe at Geno’s seemingly effortless puck protection, but he knew he had to focus on the game and followed Geno into the zone. Luckily for him, Les Bombardiers’ defence was so worried about Geno that Sid was able to sneak in deep. When Geno made eye-contact with him, a subtle smirk spread over his lips and he sauced a pass to Sid over one of Les Bombardiers’ player’s sticks. Without even thinking, Sid went for the shot and buried it top shelf.

The guys on Les Oiseaux bench cheered loudly, tapped their sticks on the boards, and showered Sid’s line with praise as they skated back towards the bench. Sid’s line slid onto the bench as the third line clambered off the bench and over the boards.

“Man, we should have made you centre!” Sid said to Geno through his heavy breaths, smiling widely.

Geno smiled back and shrugged a shoulder. “I already tell you, I’m best,” he said, sticking his tongue between his teeth.

Sid laughed and playfully punched his shoulder. “Well, now I believe you!”

Sid looked up at the ice then to watch the next play, and didn’t notice Geno look down at his stick, a soft smile on his lips and his face flushing pink under his visor.

Les Oiseaux had four goals by the end of the first period, and Geno was responsible for two of them. Their defence was so good, that Les Bombardiers were barely able to get into the offensive zone, much less get any shots on goal. The one time they had made it to the goal, Flower had easily stopped their shot. Most of the first period was spent in Les Bombardier’s defensive zone.

“You know, I’m grateful for the long breaks, you guys, but it’s starting to get a little boring over on my end,” Flower joked at intermission.

“So take a nap,” Max joked back.

“You keep this up, and I just might,” Flower laughed, stretching and taking a long swig from his water bottle.

Les Bombardiers had obviously shuffled their lines a bit by the time the second period was in full-swing, which was well within the rules of the night league, given the unpredictability of substitute players. Unfortunately, it meant that Les Bombardiers were putting up better resistance and making things a little more interesting for Flower, and Les Bombardiers finally scored a goal at 8 and a half minutes in. They were also being a lot more physical, and at 9 minutes in, who else but Jean-Paul Gerrault checked René hard into the boards, and René crumpled to the ice. It was not a clean hit at all, and René was folded over, holding his head.

The nearest ref immediately blew his whistle, and the players on the ice looked ready to throw their gloves. The entire Oiseaux bench, including Geno, was on their feet, yelling and badmouthing Gerrault. One of the refs helped René get shakily to his feet. René just looked like he would rather be back on the ground, so the team’s medic ran up and escorted him off the ice. When the ref read the penalty—five minutes for an illegal hit to the head—both benches were yelling.

“Five minutes?! He should be suspended for that!”

“ _Вы что, не видели, что он ударил его по башке!?_ ”

“That’s a shit call!”

“Eject him!! _Envoyez-le ’n enfer!!_ ”

“Fuck, now what are we gonna do?” Max said aside to Sid, his voice raised over the clamour. “With all the last-minute changes, we don’t have any extra people—“

“I’ll play for René,” Sid interrupted.

“I knew you were going to say that,” Max said with a relieved smile, clapping Sid on the shoulder.

“Then why are you worried? We’re up by four and we’re about to be on a five-minute power-play. We’ll be fine,” Sid said. He was more worried about René than he was about the game.

“I can always count on you to be positive, eh?” Max said before hopping over the boards for the line-change.

Max got a goal on the power play right away, bringing the score up to 5:1 Oiseaux. They hadn’t even exerted much energy, so they stayed on the ice for the next play, and Les Bombardiers barely kept Les Oiseaux from scoring another goal before the power play ended.

The second-line shift after that was uneventful, and although Sid was tired from working double-time, he skated back up to the face-off dot as Geno and the rest of his line skated off to the bench.

The third line skated out to join Sid. A glance back at the bench told Sid that Geno was watching him intensely, and that seemed to energise Sid somewhat. He won the face-off, and one of the subs playing D caught the puck. A few passes through the neutral zone, and Sid found the puck back on his own tape. Riding a wave of energy he didn’t know he had, Sid saw his opportunity and rushed the four players standing between him and Les Bombardiers’ goal.

Sid wasn’t sure how, but he managed to break past all four of those players, one of which was Gerrault himself. When Sid reached the goal, he faked a slap shot and then snuck the puck in through the five-hole. When he turned to skate back to the bench, he was pleasantly surprised to see Geno on his feet, cheering loudly. When Sid slid back onto the bench, he slid right into Geno’s arms.

“Yes, Sid!!” Geno yelled, hugging Sid tightly and then pulling away to clap him on the shoulder. “ _Крассавчик!!_ ”

Sid felt his face flush and he looked down, trying to tone down the idiotic smile he knew was spreading over his lips.

As the first lines returned to the ice and play resumed, Sid found himself glancing back at the three men watching them from the bleachers. All three were in suits and ties, making them stick out like sore thumbs amongst the other audience members, who were mostly the friends and family of the players. Sid wondered for a fleeting moment if they were talent scouts, but...that couldn’t be right. Why would talent scouts be watching a night league game played by a bunch of ex-college guys and older former-professionals? Maybe the youngest of the three suited men was the rich guy Sophie had mentioned, and he was looking for a new trainer? But if that were true, then...who were the other two guys?

Why was it even important? Sid shook his head and focused back on the game.

In the third period, Les Bombardiers were playing desperate, but tonight, Les Oiseaux lines were well-rounded and communicating beautifully. The score was 6:1 Oiseaux, and everyone would have been happy if that ended up being the final score, but 15 minutes in, as Sid was rushing into Les Bombardiers’ defensive zone, he glanced up to see Geno in the perfect position for a scoring chance. Sid called to him and sent him a pass, and Geno knew exactly what to do; he slapped the puck right into the back of the net, falling to a knee as he did so, and then springing up off the ice when he saw that it went in. Sid howled and skated over to him, and Geno was laughing as he hugged Sid tightly. Their line mates came up to join the hug before they all skated back to the bench.

“I’m gonna throw my hat at you when we get back to the locker room! Woo!! A _hat trick_!” Max crowed at Geno. “Hey, you want to be on this team? Not just as a sub? You want to join our team? Cause we would _love_ to have you!”

Geno laughed, then he shrugged, looking thoughtful. He glanced at Sid before turning back to Max. “Yeah, maybe I do.”

Sid looked at him, a little smile on his face. Had Geno glanced at him because he liked playing with him? Was Sid the reason Geno was even considering it? Whatever the case, Geno was so easy to play with, and Sid certainly wouldn’t mind playing with him more. Nothing would make him happier.

Well...Sid smiled sadly as he thought of the day they had met; of how full his heart felt when Geno’s head had fallen onto his shoulder and he’d let himself rest his head on Geno’s...How connected he’d felt sitting there with Geno and Lyosh...

Ok. Almost nothing.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

The final score ended up being 7:1 in favour of Les Oiseaux de Glace. True to his word, Max tossed his baseball cap at Geno when they got back into the locker room. Geno laughed and ended up putting it on backwards, which Max thought was hilarious. When Geno was done clowning around, he held it out to Max, but Max just shook his head and refused to take it back.

“Nah, man, keep it. You’ve earned it!”

Geno laughed again and looked down at the hat, which had the olympic Team Canada logo on it. He smiled fondly at it and put it back on, thanking Max before sitting back down to take off his skates.

After a while, there was a knock on the door, and when Max opened it, the youngest of the three men in suits that had been watching them from the bleachers entered the room. He thanked Max, nodded at Gonchar, and then walked right up to Geno.

“Mr. Malkin, may we have a moment of your time?” he said, gesturing to the door.

“Ah, sure,” Geno said, popping up and following him through the door, as if he knew the man and had fully expected this to occur.

When the door shut, Sid and Pierre exchanged glances.

“What was that all about?” Pierre said.

Sid shrugged, trying to act nonchalant despite his extreme curiosity. Geno obviously had a life outside of the time he spent with Sid, and Sid suddenly felt awful for assuming he was one of the biggest parts of Geno’s new life in Montréal. Sid was just the babysitter, no more, no less, and he needed to start getting used to it.

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

Pierre shrugged, too, and then said, “Hey, a bunch of us are going out for my birthday tonight, you want to come?”

“Sure!” Sid looked up at him and smiled. “I didn’t know it was your birthday!”

Pierre smiled. “Yeah, I’ll be 33 today.”

“ _Joyeux anniversaire!_ ” Sid smiled at him before untying his other skate.

“ _Merci!_ ” Pierre responded.

“Where are you guys planning on going?” Sid asked.

“I _want_ to take him to La Baton Rouge Steakhouse, because he _said_ he wanted to try it,” Alfonse said.

“ _Mais, Alfonse, ça va coûter cher_ ,” Pierre said.

“I don’t care how much it costs, ami! Just let me buy you dinner for your birthday, ok?” Alfonse said, a bit exasperatedly, as if they’d already had this conversation before.

“La Baton Rouge Steakhouse sounds great,” Sid said to Alfonse.

“See? It’s great! It’s fine! We’re going there!” Alfonse said to Pierre before turning back to Sid. “You should see if your friend will come with us!”

Sid glanced at the door. Maybe Geno would want to come out with them. But...Geno had already looked exhausted before the game, and Lyosha would probably be tired...

“I’ll ask him,” Sid said with a little smile, but he was worried that he already knew what the answer would be.

Sid walked into the showers feeling a little off. He understood that he couldn’t be the only person in Montréal that Geno knew, but...who was that guy in the suit, and where could Geno possibly know him from? Geno was looking for a job, and Sid’s only guess at this point was that maybe the guys in suits were potential employers. But then...why would they have watched Geno play a hockey game? Maybe they were looking at Geno for a trainer’s position? Sid nodded to himself as he shampooed his hair. That made sense. He smiled a little as he pictured Geno training a bunch of little kids. He’d probably be a natural.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

When Sid had gotten changed and checked on René, and Geno _still_ hadn’t returned to the locker room, Sid decided to go find him. He walked out of the locker room and looked over towards the bleachers, not expecting to see Geno standing there talking to Vero and Cath. Vero and Cath were laughing about something, but they both went silent as Sid approached, and Geno turned to see what they had seen. When he saw that it was Sid, he smiled widely.

“Hi, Sid!” He turned back to Vero and Cath. “Okay, I should shower now. Thank you.” He turned back to Sid and pointed to the locker rooms. “I’m go—“

“Hey, Zhenya, sorry, really quick question,” Sid interrupted. “It’s Pierre’s birthday, and he wants to know if you’d like to come out for dinner with us to celebrate.”

Geno took a second to process Sid’s words. “Oh. Yeah! It’s sound fun! Where?”

“La Baton Rouge Steakhouse,” Sid answered, a bit surprised that Geno had said yes.

Geno thought about it and nodded. “Okay! I find. GPS. Everybody go already?”

“Well, a few people left already, but not everyone,” Sid said. “You’ve got time.”

Geno nodded. “Ah, ok. I’m shower! Gimme...5 minutes!” he said, jogging back to the locker rooms, and leaving Sid there with Vero and Cath.

Sid looked up at them. He knew he probably shouldn’t ask—Geno was entitled to his privacy—but his curiosity got the better of him.

”So...What were you guys talking about?”

“I’m sorry. He asked us not to tell anyone,” Vero said. Cath just nodded.

Sid nodded back. He couldn’t read the smile on Vero’s face. Was it just polite? Pitying? Sid knew he was a bit too emotional at the moment to see things clearly and decided not to try to read into it.

“Niy! Niiy!!” Lyosha suddenly whined from Cath’s arms, leaning back as far as he could and reaching out for Sid.

A familiar wave of fondness washed over Sid and he smiled and walked forward, gently taking Lyosha from Cath’s arms.

“Niyy!!!” Lyosha whined again, reaching up and touching Sid’s face.

“Hey, buddy,” Sid cooed at him. “Did you miss me? I missed you...”

“Niy,” Lyosha said, calmer now, curling his little arms around Sid’s neck and resting his little head on his shoulder. Lyosha sighed, and Sid closed his eyes against the bittersweet emotions he was suddenly feeling. He just listened and let Lyosh’s gentle breaths soothe his aching heart. He didn’t see Vero and Cath exchange smiles.

“Wait, is that what ‘Niy’ means? ‘Sid-ney’?” Vero said suddenly. “He’s been saying it all night.”

Sid opened his eyes and looked up at them, smiling. “Has he, really?”

Vero and Cath just nodded. Sid smiled wider and closed his eyes again, suddenly feeling a little misty. Being the babysitter was definitely worth it, even if that was all he was. He certainly hoped that part of his and Geno’s relationship would stay the same, even if Geno didn’t need him for social companionship anymore.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Geno had a little trouble finding La Baton Rouge Steakhouse, but he made it there fairly quickly, despite getting a bit turned around.

Once inside, it wasn’t hard to find Pierre’s table, seeing as how there were a bunch of loud hockey players seated around it. Geno adjusted the shoulder straps on Lyosh’s baby carrier and wondered if this might not have been such a good idea with a baby...but he hadn’t been out with a group of friends in so long...

He approached the table, looking for a seat. He was a bit disappointed to see that both of the chairs on either side of Sid were occupied, but there was a baby seat next to Flower, and an empty chair right next to it.

“Ah! There he is! _Monsieur_ Hat Trick!” Max said, standing when he noticed him. He pointed to the empty chair next to the baby chair. “Here, we got you guys chairs right next to each other!” He then turned to the table and put a finger to his lips. “Okay, guys, you know what Sid said, we gotta be a little quieter, for the baby.”

“Thank you,” Geno said, smiling and sitting Lyosha down in the baby seat, then taking his own seat. At least Sid was right across the table from him, so he could see him. He liked looking at Sid.

Sid looked down when he noticed Geno was looking at him. He looked a little tense. Geno wondered what that meant, but he didn’t dwell on it too long because Lyosha was already making little whiny noises, and he had to think of something to keep Lyosh occupied. He took a little bag of strawberry bits out of Lyosh’s baby bag and put a few of them on one of the little appetiser plates on the table. Geno glanced back over at Sid and caught him smiling softly as Lyosh played with the strawberry bits a little before stuffing them in his mouth. Geno smiled, too, but he really wished he could be sitting closer to Sid. He wanted to ask him what was wrong, but maybe he needed some space....Maybe he could catch him before they left.

Geno picked up the menu and tried to decide what he wanted, but he was so hungry that everything looked good, and he was so tired that he couldn’t quite read the French on the menu. He finally just decided to look at the pictures and choose from them. The waitress came to take their orders not long after that, and when it was Geno’s turn to order, he just pointed at the picture and muddled his way through the waitress’ questions, grateful when Flower leaned in to help.

While they were waiting for their food, Geno heard Lyosha laughing and turned to his right, smiling when he noticed Flower making funny faces at Lyosha. Geno glanced back over at Sid, who seemed to be in a rather engaging conversation with Pierre. Geno suddenly felt sad that Sid was missing out on seeing Flower playing with Lyosh, so he snapped a few pictures (some of which Flower even posed for). After a while, when Lyosha lost interest in Flower’s funny faces and started playing with a toy that the waitress had brought for him, Geno decided to join in the conversations and nodded at Flower, asking him about something that Tanger had just mentioned.

“Hey, why you and Letang not play professional? Don’t want?”

Flower shook his head. “Letang here has his hands full with his modelling career,” he said, jerking a thumb in Tanger’s direction. “We’re lucky his agent lets us borrow him on the weekends.”

Tanger laughed. “She doesn’t know it’s a contact league, either, or she wouldn’t let me come at all.”

“This guy’s also lucky his wife is a professional makeup artist,” Flower added behind his hand. “She’s gotten really good at hiding his bruises over the years.”

Geno laughed, too, then he nodded at Flower. “And you?”

Flower puffed out his chest. “The NHL isn’t ready for someone at my-“ he sniffed facetiously, “- _Advanced_ level.”

Tanger barked out a laugh. “You are _so_ full of shit!”

“No, you right,” Geno said, nodding earnestly at Flower. “If you in NHL?” He shook his head. “Always shutouts. Your team always win. You, like...Legendary.”

Geno tried to look as sincere as possible, and Flower stared at him for a moment, trying to gauge if he was really being serious or not. But then Tanger burst into a fit of laughter, and Flower smiled and looked down.

“The only thing that would be legendary about _him_ are his stupid pranks,” Tanger howled.

“Thank you,” Flower said to Geno, looking like he meant it.

After the waitress had delivered their food, conversations diverted to Geno’s hat trick, and Geno found himself a bit flustered at all the praise.

“A hat trick, too! On his first night!”

“You play like a professional, man!”

“Where have you been this whole time? Our team could use you!”

“Yeah, you want to join our team? We haven’t seen a hat trick in a long time!”

Geno wasn’t sure what to say in response to all the praise, but he didn’t have time to think much about it before Max spoke.

“Yeah, I think Sid was the last one to get a hat trick, but that was years ago! You going soft, bud?” Max ribbed Sid, slinging an arm over his shoulders. Sid laughed, but Geno saw in his eyes that he hadn’t found it the least bit funny. In fact, he looked a bit more tense than he had earlier. 

“But Sid play so good tonight!” Geno said quickly, happy when Sid gave him a surprised look. “He’s get two goals! And you see him go through four guys? Like nothing?? They can’t stop him! And he even play more than everybody!” Geno turned to Sid, smiling widely. “Hey, why you not tell me you so good?”

Sid looked like he hadn’t expected the spotlight to be shined so suddenly on him. “A-Oh! Wh-uhh, I...well, I-I don't want to, uh...boast...uh...” he stammered.

“Max, Sid your best player,” Geno said pointedly. Flower and Tanger enthusiastically agreed, and Max nodded, too.

“Oh, of course he is!” Max scoffed. “I may chirp him a lot, but I know better than anyone that I can put him wherever I need him and he’ll kill it! He’s played every position, and well, too! He’s even stood in for Flower on a few occasions!”

“And gotten a shutout at least one of those times,” Flower added proudly.

Geno raised his brows and looked back over at Sid, deeply impressed. “You play vr-goalkeeper, too!? And you do shutout!? Sid! So amazing!”

Sid’s face was flushed and he looked like he was trying to stifle a smile. Geno liked that much better than the tense expression he’d seen earlier.

“Well, uh...I...I just...I just really like hockey, you know? So I...wanted to try playing all of the positions to understand it better,” Sid felt the need to explain. “Plus, my dad was a goalie, so...”

Geno shook his head and looked down. “Ok, Sid. You win.” When Geno looked up at Sid, he was met with a deer-in-the-headlights-confused look, and Geno couldn’t stop himself from smiling. “You win, Sid. You best. Better hockey player than me.”

Sid held eye contact with him for a moment, looking like he was trying to figure Geno out. Genosmiled back at him, but his smile started to fade after a moment under the tension he suddenly felt. He wanted to say something, ask Sid if he was okay, maybe...but he just couldn’t find the words. Then Flower clapped Geno on the shoulder, snapping the tension suddenly like an old rubber band. Geno blinked.

“Of course he’s the best, he’s _Canadian_ ,” Flower laughed, winking at him.

“What you _mean_ —H-how’s that makes...difference, hah?” Geno laughed back at him, catching Flower’s playful tone and understanding that the argument was a game.

“Canada is obviously better at hockey than Russia...”

“No! It’s not true! Russia’s - best hockey!”

Sid watched them play-argue for a moment, trying to shake off the tingling feeling Geno’s gaze had left in his spine. Sid was really flustered by all the praise, but it was a bit bittersweet, since he knew damn well that Geno was better than him. It was obvious in the graceful ways Geno moved on the ice, in how deftly he controlled the puck and created plays...and it was especially obvious in the three goals he’d scored that night. Geno was _good_. He was better than good. He had played like a professional that night, and for all Sid knew, he probably was a professional. After all, he knew Gonch from somewhere...

So why had Geno told Sid that he was better than him? Maybe he was just being nice. He supposed Geno was still acting like he normally did when he was alone with Sid and Lyosh, there were just more people around now.

The dynamic had changed was all. Nothing to be worried about...

Only Sid found himself sitting there and worrying. Sid’s friends were now Geno’s friends, there were so many more opportunities for Geno to connect with the people in his new home, and although he was happy that Geno had a community now, Sid was still slightly worried that he and Geno might drift apart; that the friendship they had built would get lost in the confusion.

Sid knew he was being irrational and maybe a bit selfish, but it had only been a week and a half, and Geno had already changed his life so dramatically. He’d gotten used to hanging out with Geno after work. He’d gotten used to babysitting Lyosha. He’d gotten used to Geno’s frequent phone calls, Geno’s smile, Geno’s laugh...he’d gotten used to Geno always being on his mind. He wondered if he was on Geno’s mind as much as he wanted to be. He wanted Geno to think about him all the time, even though he knew he had no right to demand that of Geno.

Sid took a deep breath. He wasn’t about to let his fears control him and put his relationship with Geno in danger, so he decided he was just going to sit back, calm down, and let the chips lie wherever they fell.

“So, Sidney...How did you meet Zhenya?” Gonch suddenly asked from off to Sid’s right.

Sid looked up at him, surprised. This was the most Gonch had ever said to him.

“Oh...I, uh...we met at the Orly Airport in Paris,” Sid said. “We both had to wait out a flight delay, so we, uh...we ended up talking a lot.”

Gonch nodded. “Ah, ok. And you helped Zhenya with his son?” When Sid looked confused as to how he knew, Gonch continued, “Zhenya tells me that Lyosha introduced you.”

Sid couldn’t help smiling, remembering the first time he’d seen Lyosh’s curious little brown eyes staring up at him.

“Yeah, I...guess he did. Lyosha was curious about me, I guess, and so...he crawled up to me, and Zhenya had to pick him up, but...he just...kept wanting to crawl back to me...” Sid trailed off. “I’m not sure why, though. I mean...he didn’t even know me—”

“Children are often better judges of character than adults,” Gonch interrupted.

Sid glanced up at him. “Well...yeah, I guess you’re right...maybe he thought I was...trustworthy...”

“Judging by what Zhenya tells me, you are,” Gonch said.

Sid ducked his head, hoping Gonch wouldn’t see his face start to flush. “Ah, that’s, uh...well...I’m glad he thinks so.”

Sid looked down at his plate, wondering what Geno had told Gonch in the locker room. Had Geno told Gonch a lot about Sidney? Or had they just caught up a little? They really hadn’t had a lot of time to talk, maybe 10 minutes? 15? Sid supposed that they also could have talked on the bench when Sid was playing for René. What had they talked about? How much did Gonch know about Geno’s past? Sid looked back up at Gonch, suddenly unable to contain his curiosity and eager to keep the lines of communication going.

“So, uh...how do you know Zhenya?” Sid asked.

“I played with him in Magnitogorsk ten years ago, during the 2004-2005 NHL lockout,” Gonch said. “We both played for Metallurg.”

“Oh, ok...” Sid nodded, his heart rate speeding up. “Is...that a professional team?”

”Yes,” Gonch said, raising a brow. “You...didn’t know Zhenya played professionally?”

Sid’s heart suddenly felt like it stopped. Geno _was_ a professional player....He couldn’t have meant all the stuff he just said about Sid being better than him...

Sid looked down at his plate. “There’s...apparently a lot I don’t know about him,” he said quietly.

Gonch looked at him silently for a moment, like he was assessing for something, but when Sid looked up at him, he just felt like Gonch was staring into his soul. Sid shifted uncomfortably under his gaze.

“Zheyna was chosen as a prospect for the Pittsburgh Penguins in 2004, and he was going to accept the offer, but his KHL team refused to let him go,” Gonch said after a moment, his voice lowered so that only Sid could hear him. “He tried everything to leave. He tried to run away during an international tournament, but was caught. There were international legal battles. Zhenya tried to leave for ten years, but was stopped every time. They said he would be a traitor if he left, and threatened him and his family, but he wouldn’t give up...well, not until the suspicious death of his wife.”

Sid’s blood ran cold. “Suspicious?” he said quietly. “But...I thought she died in a car—”

“A car accident, yes,” Gonch interrupted. “It was all over the news in Moscow. But they never found the driver of the other car.”

Sid stared at him, his mouth hanging slightly open.

“Officially, the reports were that the man who hit them was drunk and ran away,” Gonch continued. “But there are those who believe the accident was staged to try to keep Zhenya from leaving the country. If it was, it obviously did not work.”

Sid blinked at Gonch, throughly unsettled. “Wh...why are you telling me this?”

“Zhenya...thinks highly of you, and I can see that you think highly of him as well,” Gonch said simply. “ _Береги его_.”

Sid kept staring at Gonch, but he looked away, his body language making it very clear that the conversation was over. Sid blinked and looked down at his half-eaten steak, suddenly feeling like he was floating in a thick and swirling fog. He slowly cut off a piece of steak and almost brought it up to his mouth, but after that conversation, he seemed to have lost his appetite.

“ _Avez-vous besoin d’une boîte d’emporter?_ ”

He looked up at the waitress, who was suddenly next to him had asked him if he needed a box just in time.

“ _Ouais, s’il vous plaît,_ ” he said, putting down his fork. “ _Merci_.”

Conversations continued to fly over the table as the night wore on, but Sid felt so unsettled after his conversation with Gonch that it was difficult to concentrate fully on any one of them, so he stopped trying to contribute to them and fell silent.

What made Gonch think it was a good idea to tell Sid that Zhenya’s wife could have been murdered? Was he trying to warn Sid away from something, or was he trying to tell Sid that Geno was emotionally wounded and needed help? Sid already understood that Geno was emotionally wounded, but this just added a whole new layer to it. Why would anyone murder Zhenya’s wife and think that would somehow keep him in Russia?? Why would anyone want to rip a family apart in the first place, especially one that had barely had a chance to form? Sid swallowed hard and sincerely hoped that it was nothing more than a conspiracy theory.

Before Sid knew it, the waitress was back with the checks and people were taking out their wallets. Sid got out his wallet as the waitress went around the table handing people their checks, but she walked away before she reached Sid and never handed him anything. Sid furrowed his brows and looked down at his box of leftovers. Had somebody paid for—...Sid snapped his gaze up at Geno, who caught his look and held up his check with a shrug and a little grin on his face. Flower winked at Sid from the chair next to Lyosha’s.

Sid tried to smile, but he was still so unsettled from his and Gonch’s conversation that he doubted the smile reached his eyes. It must not have, because Geno suddenly looked very concerned. He looked like he wanted to say something, but before he could, Tanger started talking to him. Sid looked away and didn’t notice Geno glance up at him a few times.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

It was almost 11pm by the time everyone got up and started heading out the door. Sid’s head was still reeling, so he was surprised when Geno waded through everyone and walked right up to him.

“Hey, Sid...I’m...want sit with you tonight, but...don’t know how to ask, I’m sorry...”

This time the smile did reach Sid’s eyes. “It’s ok, Zhenya.” Sid’s smile faded slightly. “You don’t have to sit next to me every time if you don’t want to.”

Geno furrowed his brows and looked down. “But...I’m _want_ to...” He looked up and began to speak before he realised that Sid was going to say something. “I know Lyosh want sit with you, too, Sid!”

As if on cue, Lyosha whined, “Niiiyy!” and reached out to him.

Sid closed his mouth and smiled as Geno handed Lyosha over. Lyosha hugged Sid’s neck, and Sid felt that warm fondness he’d gotten so used to in the past week and a half wash over him like a calming wave. Sid was so thankful for Lyosha. Sid was thankful for how cuddly and loving Lyosha was, and for how much happiness he brought him. Sid loved Lyosha and he loved Geno, and he loved the sense of family he felt when he was near them, but...did he even deserve that feeling? Geno was a professional hockey player, his wife was possibly ripped from him on purpose, and all he had left of her were Lyosha and the pictures of her in his apartment...What made Sid think that he had any right to try to fill the void in Geno’s life where she had been?

Sid slowly turned away from Geno, holding Lyosh close to his chest as he took a few shaky breaths and swallowed back the lump in his throat. He was _not_ going to cry in a restaurant.

“Sid?” Geno asked softly from behind Sid, his voice tinged with concern. “You ok?”

“It’s...I’m ok,” Sid said, his voice a bit rough with emotion.

When he had regained his composure, Sid turned back to face Geno and gently handed Lyosha back. Lyosha began to make his little fussy noises.

“I think I’m just tired...I....didn’t sleep very well last night anyway,” Sid said, trying to give Geno a convincing little smile. But it wasn’t convincing at all, because Geno obviously hadn’t bought it.

“Okay...”

“I’m just gonna...go home and get some sleep,” Sid said, taking a few steps back.

“Oh, ok, Sid...ah...” Geno stepped forward. “I can...have hug?”

Sid smiled sincerely and stepped forward, hugging Geno and taking care not to squish Lyosh. Geno seemed to hug him tighter than normal...or maybe that was just Sid’s imagination. Sid shut his eyes and tried not to think about Alina’s sharp green eyes losing their light forever. He wished Gonch had never told him a word about her death.

The hug lasted a lot longer than their usual ones did, but it still wasn’t enough for Sid. He wanted Geno to hold him forever...but...that was so selfish of him. He stepped back and avoided looking into Geno’s eyes, suddenly feeling wretchedly guilty.

“Sid...” Geno said softly, putting a hand on Sid’s shoulder.

Sid couldn’t help looking up at him then. Geno’s eyes were concerned, searching Sid’s like they were trying to figure out what was wrong. Sid wanted to lean forward and close the distance between them...he wanted to kiss Geno sweetly and try to help him cope with his pain...he wanted—

“Text me when you home? Please?”

Sid looked down and nodded, his heart pounding. He shouldn’t want Geno like he did. Geno couldn’t possibly want him back, and even if Geno _was_ interested in him, Sid felt like he would be a terrible person if he ever took advantage of Geno’s grief. Sid took a breath and forced himself to look back into Geno’s eyes.

“I will, I promise.”

Geno seemed to relax a little at the conviction in Sid’s voice, and the corner of his mouth turned up into a smile, but he still looked mildly concerned. Lyosha was whining louder now, and Sid focused his attention on Lyosha, ruffling his hair and rubbing his little cheek.

“Shh-shh-shh, it’s ok, Lyosha...Sidney’s just tired,” he cooed in a soothing voice.

“Niiiiy!” Lyosha whined, trying to grab onto Sid’s finger.

“We can...see each other tomorrow?” Geno asked suddenly.

A splash of warmth touched Sid’s heart for a moment. Geno still wanted to spend time with him. But....he hesitated, dropping his hand to his side. Why would Geno possibly want to spend time with him? He was nobody. Sid suddenly felt so anxious...He didn’t think he could commit to meeting Geno tomorrow just yet...

“We’ll...see how I feel tomorrow,” Sid said. “I’m so tired, I...may need to sleep in until noon.”

Geno looked down. Did he look disappointed? “Oh, ok...I can...call you tomorrow, then? 12 clock?”

A phone call? Sid could handle a phone call.

“Yeah, please do,” Sid said, his smile weak, but sincere. “I’d like that.”

Geno seemed even more relieved now, and he smiled at Sid. The two walked out to their cars, and Geno hugged Sid one more time before they parted ways in the parking lot.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid felt so conflicted as he got into his car and started the long drive home. At least his fears of drifting apart from Geno seemed to have been wrong. Geno still seemed to want to spend time with him. Which was nice, he guessed, but...

Geno was a _professional hockey player_. And he was _good_. He was one hundred times better than Sidney. Plus, he was looking for a job, which could mean that those men in suits could very well have been talent scouts. It could mean that different teams in different cities would be looking at Geno, and...it could mean that, if he was hired by any of those teams, he would leave Montréal...and Sid.

Sid felt closer to Geno than he had ever been to anyone that wasn’t his own mother, and if Geno just...left to play hockey somewhere else...Sid already knew it would feel like someone was tearing his heart in two.

Sid sighed as he stopped at a red light, feeling like he was falling down into a dark abyss. He really had set himself up for this, hadn’t he? He’d let himself fall for Geno, even though he knew there could never be a chance that he could love him the way he wanted him to. He should have seen the signs. He should have put a stop to this before things got out of hand. He should have just told that nice old lady at the airport that he wasn’t Geno’s husband. And now that he knew Geno was a professional hockey player? That made it even worse. What if someone saw him with Geno at the airport claiming to be his husband, not even one full year after the death of his wife? What if someone photographed them together and published a story about it? He could have ruined Geno’s reputation...his career. What if he was the reason Geno didn’t get the first job he applied for?

He suddenly wondered if...maybe everyone would have been better off if he’d never met Geno or Lyosh in the first place.

That last thought hit Sid like a ton of bricks and he suddenly choked on a sob. He couldn’t imagine going back to how his life was before them. He never wanted to go back to that...going through the motions despite his emptiness, trying and failing to find some purpose to his life, something fulfilling and meaningful...

Geno and Lyosh had given him purpose again. It was fulfilling and meaningful to spend time with them. They were the best thing that had ever happened to him. He loved them with all his heart. But he couldn’t _just_ be grateful for that, could he? _No_...he _had_ to go and cause himself pain by wanting more than he was allowed to have.

Why couldn’t he just be happy with what he was given? Why did he always want more than he deserved?

Sid’s eyes were swimming with tears, blurring his vision so much that he had to turn off down a side street and pull over.

Sid furiously wiped his eyes and scrubbed at his face. Vero was right. He didn’t know where his own bounds were. He was so worried about overstepping Geno’s that he’d just let Geno and Lyosh right over his own. Geno had just...carried Lyosha right over his blue line, past all his defences, and he had taken up residence between the goal pipes of Sidney’s heart. And Sidney was helpless to do anything but try to make it work, because he _desperately_ wanted it to work. He desperately wanted to help Geno build a new life in Montréal and make friends and have a community, but...if Geno was just going to leave anyway...

Sid hung his head and let his silent tears fall to his lap. Sid knew that he didn’t want Geno to leave for selfish reasons. Sid wanted Geno to stay for _him_. But it wasn’t fair for him to want Geno for himself, and it definitely wasn’t okay for him to lust after Geno while he was trying to build a new life for himself. Because of his feelings, Sid couldn’t trust himself not to take advantage of Geno’s loneliness just so he could have a chance to feel connected again...In fact, he knew he’d already taken advantage of it, more than once.

Sid rested his head on his steering wheel and began to sob. This was awful. _He’d_ been awful. Geno’s wife may have been murdered. Maybe Geno felt like he couldn’t trust anyone in Russia, so he left to find a place to build a better life. He finds himself alone with a baby in a foreign country, and who does he meet? Some guy who can’t even tell an old woman the truth about the baby in his arms. Someone who lies to other people about their relationship for selfish reasons. Someone who lies to himself. And because Geno is lonely, maybe he thinks that’s ok. Maybe he’ll settle for that because, to a lonely man, a liar is better than no one.

Sid knew he didn’t even deserve what he had with Geno now, because he hadn’t been honest or pure about their friendship this entire goddamn time. Sid knew he did exactly what Jessica did to him...he fell in love with what Geno did for him; he fell in love with how Geno made him feel, and he never stopped to consider Geno’s needs, wants, or dreams; never stopped to consider that Geno might one day want to leave.

He didn’t even know Geno at all. He didn’t know Geno played hockey professionally. He didn’t know Geno was supposed to play in the NHL before. He didn’t know Geno’s birthday or his favourite movie.

So why did he want more from Geno than he had any right to be getting?

Sid sat up and scrubbed at his face again, uselessly trying to wipe away tears that were still flowing. Maybe if Geno invited him somewhere when he called tomorrow, Sid should say no...start the drifting-apart process himself. Maybe that would soften the blow when Geno finally did leave.

At least Sid would have his memories...The pictures that Geno had taken of him and Lyosh at the park...playing hockey with him...

He knew he was a different person now than he was before he’d met Geno. He knew he couldn’t go back to his old life, because Geno and Lyosha hadalready changed his life so much. They’d helped him see what he really wanted in life.

Unfortunately, what he really wanted was currently slipping through his fingers, and he was helpless to do anything about it except watch.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid sat in his car until his sobs subsided. He now felt more empty and hollow than he’d ever felt. He felt smaller and more vulnerable than he’d ever been. He drove home feeling nothing; hearing nothing except his ringing ears in the near silence of his car.

As if on automatic, he parked, grabbed his hockey gear out of the trunk, trudged up the steps into his apartment building, walked across the lobby, and slumped into the elevator. If he was tired before, he was absolutely exhausted now, physically and emotionally. He had nothing left. He opened his front door and didn’t hear it when it clicked shut behind him. He walked through his tiny apartment to his dark bedroom, barely putting down his hockey gear before collapsing face-first onto his bed, still fully clothed.

He lie there for a moment, unmoving, until he remembered that Geno wanted him to text him when he got home safe. Sid didn’t want Geno to worry that he’d _also_ died in a car accident, so he slowly flipped over onto his back and pulled his phone out of his pocket.

 _I’m home,_ he typed out, then deleted it.

 _Hey, I made it home_ , he typed. He deleted this one, too. Should he even text Geno? What good would it do? Sid rubbed his sore, still-irritated eyes.

 _Hey, I’m home safe_. He typed, sending it before he could change his mind.

Geno didn’t respond immediately, but a few moments later, Sid’s phone buzzed in his hand.

_Oh ok good, Sid) I worry(((_

Sid sighed. He didn’t want Geno to worry about him. He didn’t feel like he was worth the worry. He was trying to think of a response when another text from Geno came through.

_Сладких снов, Sid) sleep good. I call you tomorrow)_

At the end of the text, there was a little sleeping emoji, and there...right next to it...

Geno had sent him the kissing emoji.

Sid stared at the text, his heart pounding without his permission. Maybe Geno had sent the kissing emoji by mistake? He waited for Geno to text back with an ‘oops, sorry, don’t mean to send that’...

Sid waited for a full ten minutes...but a redaction text never came.

Sid eyelids were drooping and he rested his phone on his chest. It _had_ to have been a mistake...

Geno would never...send him a kissing emoji...

Geno didn’t...want to kiss him...

Who would want to...

to kiss a...

a liar....?

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid wasn’t sure when he’d drifted off, but it was still dark in his bedroom when he blearily opened his eyes. His phone was still on his chest, so he brought it up to check the time. It was 2:14am, and his phone had 7% battery. Sid groaned sleepily and, after a few tries, he got his phone plugged in. Sid’s belt was digging into his hip and he was hot in his long pants and sweater, so he grumbled and got up to get undressed. He toed off his shoes and left his clothes in a heap at the foot of his bed right next to his smelly hockey gear...he had a passing thought about how he should really go air that stuff out in the bathroom before he crawled under the covers, trying to find the warm spot he’d left from sleeping on the duvet.

He tried to get comfortable, but no matter what position he tried, he couldn’t seem to get comfortable. He suddenly felt itchy and restless, and after tossing and turning for a while, he finally sat up in bed, somehow fully awake. He grumbled and got up, trudging off to the bathroom in the dark. He didn’t bother turning on the lights; he’d lived in this apartment for so long, he knew every twist and turn and corner.

When he flopped back down on his bed, his hand bumped his phone, and he suddenly remembered the text Geno had sent him earlier that night.

Sid cracked open an eye, even though he could see nothing in the near pitch-blackness of his room.

Maybe he had imagined it. Or dreamed it. Geno would never send him the kissing emoji...

Sid’s hand twitched next to his phone. 

It...couldn’t hurt to check, could it?

Sid flipped over and sat back up, picking up his phone and squinting preemptively before the bright light from his screen stabbed at his eyes again.

He unlocked his phone and hesitatingly tapped on his messenger app.

_Сладких снов, Sid) sleep good. I call you tomorrow)_

The emojis were still there at the end. The sleeping emoji and the kissing emoji. 

The time stamp showed it had been sent just a little after midnight, and there was still no redaction text following it.

Sid put down his phone and rubbed his eyes. Maybe he was still asleep, still dreaming. He grimaced as he pinched himself. Okay, maybe not.

Sid laid back and stared up through the darkness in the direction of his ceiling. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. If Geno had sent that, there had to be a reason for it. Was he...sending Sid a goodnight kiss?

Sid knew that had to be wishful thinking. Maybe it was like the heart emojis. Maybe it was completely innocent, completely platonic...

But. Geno had still sent it. No matter what the reason was, he’d sent it to Sid on purpose. Sid had no idea why, but he knew a few things from these texts: he was important enough to Geno that Geno worried about him, and for some unknown reason, Geno had thought it was appropriate to send him a kissing emoji.

Sid rubbed his eyes until he saw stars. He wished he knew what he meant to Geno. He wished he knew what went on in Geno’s head. He wished he understood him better...

Sid reached for his phone, hesitating for a moment before finally putting his hand down on it and picking it up. He unlocked it and stared at his home screen for a moment: the picture of him holding Lyosh at the park, right after the leaf had fallen down onto Lyosh’s head. Geno had taken that picture. He’d wanted to take that picture. He’d wanted to spend time with Sid at the park. But why? Why Sid?

Maybe Sid didn’t always understand Geno’s motivations, but...Sid knew Geno liked to cook. Sid knew where Geno kept the tea at his apartment. Sid knew that Geno drank coffee in the morning before riding the stationary bicycle at his apartment gym. He knew that Geno had an older brother and a loving family in Russia, with whom he sometimes went on fishing and camping trips and whom he missed terribly. He knew how Geno sounded when he sang a lullaby to his son. He knew exactly how Geno’s lips curled up when he smiled softly at his son. Maybe he didn’t know much about Geno’s past, but...he knew who Geno was now.

Of course, that didn’t stop him from being curious about Geno’s past. Maybe if he learned about Geno’s past, he could understand him better. And if Geno was famous in Russia...

Sid found himself typing Geno’s name into his internet browser.

The first three results were news accounts in Russian about Geno’s wife’s sudden death. Sid skipped over them for a wikipedia article entitled Evgeni Malkin.

 

_Evgeni Vladimirovich Malkin (born 31 Jun, 1986) is a centre in the Kontinental Hockey League (Metallurg Magnitogorsk, Dynamo Moscow) and on the Russian National Team._

 

So...he finally knew Geno’s birthday. Geno was a year older than him. The corner of Sid’s mouth twitched, threatening to smile.

Sid slowly scrolled trough the seemingly endless list of Geno’s accomplishments. _Four-time captain of the Russian National team (between the Olympics (2010, 2012, 2014) and the World Cup (2013)...Five-time participant in the Olympic games, winner of bronze (2005, 2007), silver (2010), and gold (2012, 2014)...Two-time world cup of hockey champion (2011, 2013)...Four-time participant in World Juniors, winner of bronze (2003), silver (2005, 2006), and gold (2004)...MVP of the world championships (2012)..._ the sheer number of his accomplishments almost made Sidney’s eyes cross.

Sid sighed as he got to the end of the long list. Geno was everything Sid wanted to be. Geno played sports his whole life, became a professional, he represented his country at the olympics...he had his own family...Why would anyone want to take that away from him?

Sid wondered what his own life would have been like if he hadn’t given up on his dream to play hockey...if he’d just been a _little_ more selfish...He put his phone down and wiped his eyes. If he’d been more selfish, his family could have lost their house, and he and his sister could have been taken away from their mother. No matter what he did or how hard he tried, he would never have been able to pursue his dream without someone getting hurt in the process.

Sid shook his head, took a few deep breaths to steady himself, and unlocked his phone to continue reading. Sid almost tapped on the subsection entitled _Family Life_ , but the subsection below it, _Timeline of attempts to leave Russia_ , caught his eye. Sid tapped on it, his stomach suddenly feeling a little quivery.

 

**_Timeline of attempts to leave Russia and the events affecting them_ **

_First Attempt:_

_27 June, 2004 - Malkin is drafted 2nd overall to the Pittsburgh Penguins._

_28 June, 2004 - Malkin’s KHL team (Metallurg Magnitogorsk) announces they will not allow Malkin to leave before his contract lapses, unless the NHL pays them 2 million dollars, a condition to which the NHL refuses to acquiesce, and discussions between the two leagues stagnate._

_3-4 July, 2004 - Malkin returns to Russia and attempts to nullify his contract by turning in a letter of resignation. His letter is immediately burned. After negotiations lasting a full night, Malkin finally agrees to play one more season with Metallurg before leaving for the NHL._

_Second Attempt:_

_7-8 August, 2006 - Malkin’s contract with Metallurg lapses. Metallurg offers Malkin a new contract, and Malkin tries to refuse. Metallurg general manager Gennadi Velichkin holds Malkin’s passport from him and again spends a whole night coercing him into signing a contract. It is signed at 5:30 am._

_8 August, 2006 - Malkin calls his American agents explaining the situation, and they make a plan to get Malkin out of the country before a preseason tournament in Finland, when the team will be forced to return Malkin’s passport to him._

_13 August, 2006 - Malkin tries to leave the airport in Finland while his teammates are getting their baggage. He is caught by trainers, is escorted back to his team, and his passport is again confiscated._

_14-15 August, 2006 - Malkin’s American agents threaten Velichkin with legal action, to which he replies, “Let them. Malkin is our player. They are trying to coerce him to betray his team. Unless they pay the price we have asked for him, he will not go.” Malkin's case is opened in court the following day._

_17 August, 2006 - Malkin makes a second attempt to nullify his contract with a letter of resignation before practice. Velichkin immediately tears it in half._

_21 August, 2006 - Malkin announces in a press interview that he was pressured into signing his contracts with Metallurg, has attempted to resign twice and has been denied, has had his passport kept from him, and that he still fully intends to play in the NHL. Velichkin makes a counter statement, saying that he used no extreme means to convince Malkin to stay, and the NHL was the one coercing the young hockey player to leave his motherland and reiterates his opinion that Malkin leaving would be a betrayal to his team._

_24 August, 2006 - Malkin’s mother falls ill, and Malkin signs another contract with Metallurg, citing his need to be able to pay for good hospital care for her. (Note: some believe this event is not connected to the previous events, but none can deny its suspiciously coincidental occurrence)_

 

Sidney stared at his screen in shock. He suddenly felt even more guilty for wanting Geno to stay with him...people had been trying to control Zhenya and his career choices, and now that he was finally free of that, he gets stuck with another guy who wants him to base his decisions on him? At least he wasn’t planning on coercing him or hurting someone close to him.

Sid shook his head and read on.

 

_Third Attempt:_

_30 April, 2008 - Malkin’s contract with Metallurg lapses. Velichkin offers another contract to Malkin, but he steadfastly refuses. Velichkin again withholds Malkin’s passport from him._

_1 May, 2008 - Malkin reports his passport stolen and requests a new one._

_2 May, 2008 - Malkin announces in a press interview that Velichkin stole his passport several times in an attempt to keep him there, and may have implied that Velichkin could have had something to do with his mother’s mysterious illness, which she had recovered from shortly before the end of the season [citation needed]. There is a media outcry against Metallurg and ticket sales drop 46%._

_5 May, 2008 - Velichkin makes a counter-statement to the press, calling Malkin a liar and a traitor (among other things) and attempts to take legal action against Malkin for slander and defamation._

_26 May, 2008 - Malkin receives his new passport and attempts to apply for an American visa. He is denied on the grounds that there are pending legal actions against him._

_10 June, 2008 - The legal battles between the NHL and the KHL over player transfer fees and similar topics rage on. Each time one part of the debate is resolved, three more arguments sprout up. Malkin’s case is cited in most of them, though the negotiations involve other players’ cases as well, including Ovechkin, Datsyuk, Fedorov, and Fetisov, who all successfully left Russia to play in the NHL. Dynamo Moscow offers Malkin a higher-paying contract than Metallurg. Malkin accepts on the condition that he will be allowed to nullify the contract when the legal battles between the NHL and the KHL are resolved._

 

Sid was growing increasingly frustrated, sympathetic for what Geno must have gone through. Why would his team have tried so hard to keep him from realising his dreams? For money? Why would they go to such drastic measures? He scrolled down further and continued reading.

 

_Fourth Attempt:_

_4 May, 2012 - Malkin marries school sweetheart and Olympic Gold Medalist Alina Pávlovna Yezérskaya in their home town of Magnitogorsk, one month after Yezérskaya placed first in her final National Championships competition._

_16 August, 2012 - The legal battles concerning Malkin’s case are finally closed, the rulings being that no club in either the NHL or the KHL may keep a player on contract against his will, nor may they coerce him to sign contracts against his will, nor may they keep his passport from him, nor may they ask more than $500,000 as a transfer fee._

_20 August, 2012 - Malkin nullifies his contract with Dynamo to become a free agent and the newlywed Malkins begin planning to move overseas. The Pittsburgh Penguins obviously stake a claim to him, but as he is a free agent, the Washington Capitals start soliciting him as well._

_15 September, 2012 - NHL lockout begins._

_17 September, 2012 - Alexander Ovechkin and Pavel Datsyuk announce their plans to return to the KHL while the lockout is in effect. The Malkins stop plans to move overseas._

_18 September, 2012 - Malkin reinstates his contract with Dynamo, on their condition that he play with them for the next two seasons. With no end to the lockout in sight, Malkin reluctantly agrees._

 

Sid huffed out a breath, astonished and angry at all of the trials Geno had been put through. He almost wanted to stop reading, but he kept going.

 

_Fifth and Final Attempt:_

_6 January, 2013 - After a long bout of on-and-off negotiations, the NHL lockout ends. Ovechkin and Datsyuk play through the end of the season with the KHL before returning to the NHL._

_2 October, 2013 - The 2013/2014 season starts. Malkin holds up his promise to play until the end of the season, and also later plays with the Russian National team at the Olympic games in Sochi._

_1 May, 2014 - Malkin’s contract with Dynamo lapses and he and his wife again begin making plans to move overseas. Malkin is again a free agent and four teams are now soliciting him: the Pittsburgh Penguins, The Washington Capitals, the Dallas Stars, and the Ottawa Senators. Pittsburgh argues that they have the first claim, as they drafted him ten years ago, and still have not benefitted from that, but the other teams argue that they should have the right to stake a claim, given that he is technically a free agent._

_24 July, 2014 - The Malkins officially announce that Alina is pregnant, and that they plan to move overseas before the child is born. (Note: She was 5 months pregnant at the time, and despite her being out of the public eye, rumours had been circulating for months; the announcement was made to quell the rumours)_

_15 August, 2014 - A mysterious illness lands Alina Malkina in the hospital, and the couple’s plans for departure are put on hold. (Note: Alina’s illness is similar enough to Malkin’s mother’s illness that an investigation into the matter is opened, and is still open to this day)_

_26 October, 2014 - Alina Malkina is well enough to leave the hospital, and the couple go out to a late movie to celebrate. Malkina goes into labour as they are leaving._

_27 October, 2014 - early morning: A drunk driver(?) collides with their vehicle as Malkin is rushing his wife to the hospital. Malkina dies on impact, but the baby is still viable, and is taken to the hospital to be delivered by emergency c-section. (Note: the driver of the other car was never found, and no one has come forward with any viable / valid information about the collision, though the investigation is still open)_

_14 November, 2014 - A special memorial service for Alina Malkina is held in Moscow. Over 300,000 people are in attendance. Malkin delivers a speech, speaking out against drunk drivers, declaring his undying love for Alina, and promising to dedicate his life to taking care of their newborn son. Shortly afterwards, Malkin disappears from the public eye for nearly one year; although he is sometimes seen in his hometown buying groceries, he is absent from the world of professional hockey in Russia._

_12 October, 2015 - Malkin is seen at the Moscow Sheremet'eva International Airport, leaving Russia with his young son. Malkin was seen carrying hockey equipment, but would make no statement to the press. His destination and future career plans are thus far unclear._

 

Sid stared at the screen until it went dark. He knew more about the end of it than the people who had written this list. He knew because he was the unwritten name at the end of the list. On the 13th of October, Evgeni Malkin arrived at the Orly Airport in Paris and made a friend while waiting out a flight delay. By the 23rd of October, this famous award-winning hockey player, who had previously been married to an _Olympic Gold Medalist_ , had spent a week and a half with Nobody Sidney Crosby from Nowhere, Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia...and Nobody Sidney Crosby had fallen hopelessly in love with him.

Sid put down his phone and stared up into the blackness around him. He shouldn’t have looked up Geno’s past, because now that he knew about all of Geno’s accomplishments and the story of how he had tried so hard to get to play in the NHL, he felt somehow even worse than he had before. Geno had fought tooth and nail to leave Russia, he’d made it to Canada, and now he was free to play in the NHL...and Sid desperately wanted him to! Geno had worked so hard to get there! And unlike Sid, he had finally gotten that much closer to realising his dream! But...

If he didn’t get hired by the Canadiens...he _was_ going to leave. And Sidney...Nobody Sidney Crosby from Nowhere, Cole Harbour, Nova Scotia...would be alone again.

Sid turned onto his side and curled up in a ball. Geno had a chance to follow his dreams, an opportunity for which Sid would have sold his soul. If Geno was going to leave, Sid was going to let him.

He wouldn’t get in the way of Geno’s happiness, no matter how much he wanted to.

 

-/-\\-/-\\-/-\\-

 

Sid was halfway through his first cup of coffee when he heard his phone buzzing on the counter.

A glance at the clock on the wall told him it was early; 6:30 am. He hadn’t expected Geno to call this early, but when he picked up his phone, he was surprised to see that it wasn’t Geno at all.

“ _Bon Matin_ , Flower,” Sid answered, his surprise evident in his voice. “Uhh, what’s wrong?”

 _“I can ask you the same question_ ,” Flower said. “ _You seemed really upset yesterday when we left the restaurant, but I couldn’t catch you before you left,_ ” he elaborated. “ _What happened? Are you ok?_ ”

Sid opened his mouth to answer, but he didn’t really know what to say. He wanted to laugh...or maybe cry.

“ _I’m...really just calling so I can make sure you’re ok,_ ” Flower said after a while.

“I’m...I’m really not okay,” Sid admitted, his voice barely above a whisper.

“ _What happened, Sid? What’s wrong?_ ”

Sid hesitated, opening his mouth and then closing it. There was so much that was wrong, he had no idea where to begin. He sighed before finally getting out, “Evgeni’s a professional hockey player.”

Flower was silent for a moment.

“ _O...kay?? And, uh...what? So, you’re...jealous?_ ”

“No,” Sid said quickly, then he hesitated. “Well, yes, but...no, that’s not why I...that’s...not why I was upset yesterday...”

“ _Okay, so...you_ ** _are_** _jealous, but you’re not upset about that, so...if that’s not why you’re upset, then what—_ ”

“I’m...I’m just...I’m just so fucking _sad_.” Sid blurted out. He hadn’t meant to say that, but it did feel good to admit it.

Flower was quiet for a second.

“... _Why? I don’t understand,_ ” Flower said softly. “ _Help me understand_...”

“Flower, Evgeni’s a professional hockey player, and...he...he’s looking for a job, so...” Sid said, trailing off. He didn’t want to say it out loud, as if saying it out loud would somehow make it more real. 

“ _So...what, he’s going to get a job playing hockey and y—?_ ”

“It means he’s going to _leave_ , Marc!” Sidney snapped, suddenly agitated.

Flower was silent for a moment, then he said softly, “ _Oh. Oh, Sid..._ ”

His tone sounded pitying, but Sid didn’t want pity...He let out a breath and rubbed his temple with his free hand. “Look, I’m...I’m sorry, Flower...It’s just—”

“ _No, I...I see. I understand now,_ ” Flower interrupted in a soft voice. “ _You’re in love with him, and you think he’s going to leave you._ ”

Sid shook his head. How could Flower know that? He hadn't said anything to him about that…

“…What? I...I don’t—”

“ _Don’t try to tell me you don’t love him, Sid, because I was in the locker room when you saw him walk in and got that big smile on your face,_ ” Flower said. “ _I was at the game watching how you kept looking over at him to make sure he was watching you...anyone could see that—_ ”

“Okay, okay...point made...” Sid grumbled, taking a sip of his coffee and rubbing his temple again. He supposed he really was shit at hiding his feelings. “But that’s not the problem! He’s...god, Marc...he’s a _professional hockey player_ , an _olympic gold medalist_...he was supposed to play in the NHL...he was drafted _second overall_ back in 2004, but Russia didn’t let him go...He’s tried for _years_ to leave Russia...and now he’s here in Canada, and he’s finally able to...” Sid paused, swallowing back the lump in his throat. “He’s finally able to...to follow his dream! I have no right to get in the way of that—”

Flower interrupted him with an incredulous noise. “ _Whoa-whoa, wait, where did that come from? What makes you think you’re getting in the way of anything?_ ”

“Marc, I have done nothing but lie about my relationship with him...I let complete strangers think that he was my _husband_ , for God’s sake…Well, okay, my ex just thinks that we’re dating, but…that’s not really any better...”

Flower was shocked silent for a moment. “ _Attend, pardon?_ ” he asked when he had found his voice.

Sid let out a big sigh and covered his face with his hand. “The day I met Evgeni, I was waiting out a flight delay at the Orly airport. His son kept crawling up to me and...he let me hold him after a while, and...I’ve always wanted a family, Flower....And I just felt—with them around, I finally felt connected, and I...” Sid trailed off, blinking back tears. “I was...watching Evgeni’s son while he took a nap, and...this old lady walked up to me, and...she...she must have seen us there and assumed that...me and Evgeni were married with a kid, because...she told me how cute she thought my son was.”

Sid laughed bitterly now, thinking about it. “It took me a second to realise what she was talking about, and...I must have been too shocked to say anything. But...I just...I let her assume that I was Evgeni’s husband.” He hung his head. “It was wrong of me to do that…I-I could have really hurt Evgeni’s career…I should have just said something—”

“ _Whoa-whoa, wait a minute, back up,_ ” Flower interrupted. “ _Let me make sure I understand...Some old lady assumed you and Evgeni are married, and basically tells you so, and Evgeni is....what? Asleep this whole time?_ ”

“Well...yeah, at first,” Sid said. “But then he woke up, and he just...went along with the story, like...like it was just—”

“ _Wait! Time out!_ ” Flower interrupted again. “ _He went along with the story!?_ ”

“Well...yeah,” Sidney sniffed. “He...But I...I think it was just so that he could...well, so that he wouldn’t embarrass the lady, I mean...she _was_ there with her wife. And...to make matters worse, when we got onto the airplane, the old ladies wanted to know why we were sitting so far apart from each other, and...Evgeni said we couldn’t get seats together after the flight was cancelled...so the ladies asked the flight attendants to get us seats next to each other...and I...he asked me to get his boarding pass out of his back pocket, and…and I didn’t say anything! I just let everyone—”

Flower suddenly started softly laughing.

“What?” Sidney asked. “What’s so funny?”

“ _Nothing, ami,_ ” Flower said. “ _Continue_.”

“Uh...okay...uh...” Sid let out a breath. “Well, uh...that's not all, I guess, because...well, he...Evgeni calls me...pretty much every day—”

Flower hummed as if that should mean something, but Sidney ignored him.

“A-and...he, uh...he called me while I was working at Heureaux and Co. the other day, you know the place w—”

“ _Yeah. The place where your ex works, uh-huh,_ ” Flower supplied. “ _And?_ ”

Sid hesitated. “Well...I’d told Evgeni about my ex before, and...well, he...when he called, he knew she was there, and...he...” Sid trailed off, thinking about Geno’s phone call...how he desperately wished Geno would talk to him like that again.

“ _He...?_ ” Flower prompted, bringing Sidney back to to the present.

“He...uh...well, the way he talked to me...I...He must have...wanted to make her jealous,” Sid said quietly, extremely guilty about how smug it still made him feel.

“ _He wanted. To make her. Jealous,_ ” Flower repeated slowly, an obvious smile in his voice. “ _Sid, do you realise how this sound—?_ ”

“Well, he was obviously just doing it to...to...you know...it’s not that he—he’s just using it as a tool,” Sid stammered.

“ _A tool!?_ ” Flower repeated, laughing a little. “ _A tool to do what? To get in your pants!? Isn’t that what you want?!_

“Marc! No! He...he obviously doesn’t want that—”

“ _Well, it looks to me like he obviously_ ** _does_** _want that—_ ”

“He _can’t_ want that, Marc!” Sid suddenly snapped.

Flower fell silent for a moment. “ _Why not, Sid?_ ” he asked quietly.

“Be-because...” Sid spluttered. “He’s...he’s a—”

“— _Professional hockey player who can want whatever the fuck he wants, Sidney!_ ” Flower finished. “ _And it sounds like what he wants is you!_ ”

“He could _NEVER WANT ME_!” Sidney suddenly sobbed.

Flower was quiet for a long time. He let Sidney cry for a moment before quietly saying, “ _Sidney...who are you to decide for him what he doesn’t want?_ ”

“No....Marc....he...” Sid sniffed. “He was married to a woman before—”

“ _So? That doesn’t mean he can’t be bis—_ “

“MARC! His wife is DEAD. She might have been _murdered_! Not even a whole year has passed! He—” a sudden sob choked his words. “He’s s- _suffering_ , Marc, and all I’m worried about is that he doesn’t—” Sid gasped for breath, “—D-doesn’t l- _leave me_?! How...f- _fucking_ selfish can I be?” Sid said, then broke down into tortured sobs again.

Flower was silent for a very. very. long time. So long that Sid’s sobs had died down and he was sniffling and sucking in breaths before he realised that he was still on the phone and almost looked to see if Flower hadn’t hung up on him. But Flower let him know he was still there by letting out a slow breath.

“ _Sid...I get that it’s been rough for him. Okay, I didn’t know it was_ ** _that_** _rough, but...Sid...he was smiling at you yesterday. He kept looking at you on the ice, like he wanted you to watch him...he was impressed by your hockey skills; in fact, he wouldn’t shut up about it…and he kept looking at you at dinner...he actually asked me how to tell the waitress that he wanted to pay for your meal—_ ”

“Marc—”

“ _Let me finish, Sid! If...if I was him, and…I lost everything...and felt completely alone...I would want someone like you around me. Why? Because…you’re caring, and you...you understand loss. You probably understand better than anyone what he’s going through,_ ” Flower said. “ _I don’t think you’re being selfish, Sidney. I think that...you love him, and you want to help him heal. You want to give him more than you had when...you lost your father._ ”

Sid squeezed his eyes shut when he felt his chin start to quiver again.

“ _And if he leaves, you can’t do that. If he leaves, you can’t help him heal, and that hurts you because of how much you care for him_.”

Sid sniffed and covered his eyes with his hand. He was so tired of crying…he wished he could just stop.

“ _But...ami, I want you to think about something, ok?_ ” Flower said. “ _You don’t have to answer right away. I will...say this, and then I'll leave you alone: why don’t you ask him what he wants instead of trying to decide for him?_ ”

Sid sniffed in response and his eyes were still squeezed shut, trying to fend back the tears that were threatening to fall again.

“ _Ok, ami, just...think about it,_ ” Flower said softly, and Sid heard a baby crying in the background. “ _I have to go help Vero with Scarlett. I’ll...talk to you later, ok?_ ”

Sid just breathed in and out for a moment until he could get a word out without tears. “Okay,” Sid whispered.

“ _Take a nap, Sid,_ ” Flower suggested. “ _You’ll feel better, I promise._ ”

“Okay,” Sid repeated. That did sound like a nice idea…he _was_ exhausted.

They said their goodbyes and hung up, and Sid sat in his dark little apartment, listening to the clock ticking on the wall. It almost sounded too loud, like it was mocking him…or like it was reminding him that, no matter how much it felt like it, time hadn’t stopped...and Sidney knew he didn’t have much more of it with Geno.

Flower had a good point, Sid had no right to decide for Geno what he wanted. He had no idea how to approach asking Geno what he wanted, though. He just couldn't picture it at all. How was he supposed to ask Geno how he felt about him? The mere thought of that made his heart race; made him want to hide under his covers and not face the answer. And maybe it was because he was afraid of the answer. He was afraid Geno would confirm for him that he was just the babysitter...Mr. Nobody.

But...what about the kissing emoji? All the heart emojis? All of Geno's praise and his concerned looks...If Sid was really Mr. Nobody, why had Geno sent him those emojis? Why did he call every day? Why was he concerned about him? Why had he asked to see him today? Why had he given Sid too much money for babysitting and paid for his dinner last night? 

Sid knew he was going to have to face this somehow, even though it frightened him. Sid needed to figure out what he meant to Geno before it was too late...if for nothing else, then for his own sanity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, all! Whoa, so...the plot thickens! And thickens some more! I think we finally made it to the climax of the story! WOO!! Thanks for sticking around this long! As always, please let me know what your favorite parts are, or if you see a distracting typo! And let me know what you think of the timeline parts...were they too technical-y?
> 
> I will try my hardest to get the next part to you guys before too long...this is definitely the first story I've ever wrote where I'm super motivated to write more than 10,000 words, and it's all thanks to you guys!! Thank you for all your kind support, kudos, and comments! They're really keeping me going!!
> 
> Also, yesss I love these idiots in love too! 75k words already and they haven't even kissed yet *smh* Don't worry, I think Geno's finally getting smart... ;)
> 
> As always, let me know if you'd like translations for any of the Russian parts and please please please feel free to correct my French if you find a mistake (especially if you're French-Canadian and you think mine sounds too France-French, or for those spots when it's obvious I used google translate)! I'm just a language nerd who's always up for learning something new!
> 
> You guys are the best!) Thanks for sticking with me!!  
> -M

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone! I am currently writing part 2 of this, so stay tuned!  
> I'm so sorry I haven't updated Flawed Reflections in a while(( I hit a rough spot with it and so I decided to do a picture prompt challenge to get myself back in the swing of things.  
> I hope you enjoy! If you want me to add a glossary or translate any of the dialogue, feel free to let me know in the comments! I'm also open to grammatical corrections of my French and Russian! If anything is distractingly off, feel free to let me know!
> 
> Thanks for reading,  
> -M


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